Aibu to ask educators, school management, Ofsted inspectors and attendance officers why some schools are SO bad at dealing with bullying?

(52 Posts)
Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:05:06

I have several friends who are teachers, but none who are management or attendance officers.

Several threads I've read and/or posted on recently are on the issue of school bullying. I also have a friend who is currently using the local authority (a local lawyer has taken the case pro bono as this school is particularly bad) as her child ended up hospitalised with broken bones due to bullying and now has a school phobia and this was PRIMARY!

I was supposedly at school when (70'S/80'S) bullying was worse/less well handled yet as a military child the several schools I attended handled any incidents well. It just wasn't tolerated.

Why when things are supposed to be getting managed better is it apparently getting worse?

One of my teacher friends left a school she was working at because of their head in the sand approach 'there's no bullying at our school' yet it was rife.

What's going wrong? And why are schools bad for this getting 'outstanding' Ofsted ratings?

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:05:42

Argh suing not using the local authority.

FutureGadgetsLab Fri 06-May-16 18:26:25

I'd like to know too. I went to a school with horrendous bullying and it wasn't dealt with at all.

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:28:32

Exactly future I'm bewildered especially as people surely go into education as they like children?

FutureGadgetsLab Fri 06-May-16 18:30:22

You'd think so. I've found a lot of schools seem more concerned with pandering to a certain type of parent and polishing their sporting trophies sadly.

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:36:06

Yes I've noticed similar, that the appearance of a good nice school is more important than ensuring its a reality for the children. Also that the parents of bullies tend also to have bullying tendencies and schools capitulate to them.

NeedACleverNN Fri 06-May-16 18:37:12

A lot of kids now days have no respect for authority and when paired with a parent who refuses to deal with their child it can be a tricky situation.

There is only so much the school can do. Not that I think this is ok.

Also some children are very sneaky and it's hard to prove

LaceyLee Fri 06-May-16 18:41:23

It's not right but it's hard for schools to
Deal with anything as there has to be proof. If kids deny it sometimes it's hard to prove. Also it's difficult to exclude kids these days (where do they go? Is there sufficient evidence etc) and I've heard of barristers attaching the evidence that a school uses if it wants to exclude a kid! So although schools need to react quickly and do what they can it's not as easy as it might seem.

FutureGadgetsLab Fri 06-May-16 18:45:16

Even when there's proof schools still won't do anything about it. I suppose I gave myself black eyes and a cut lip didn't I.

I think Bacon it's down to targets, appearances and funding. As we get closer and closer to privatisation and a private style education sector, schools are looking to sell a product. Unfortunately a lot of these products have lovely packaging but the substance is lacking.

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:45:59

I don't think it's easy but many jobs have similar challenges (I worked in one for many years) Surely it's part of the job to address those challenges?

The school my friend is dealing with point blank refuse to believe the ringleader of the bullies is a bully. Despite evidence including witnesses (children and adults although I don't think children should be dismissed as witnesses).

Some schools don't even investigate dismissing as 'boys will be boys' etc.

Surely they should at least be required to investigate?

I think saying 'it's too hard' is a cop out really.

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:49:45

Plus I've noticed the same schools that have major bullying problems also don't even try to preempt by instilling an ethos of kindness, treating others as you'd wish to be treated, not being aggressive etc

Plus schools that do deal with it well are surely an example?

One school my daughter went to used non-blame techniques, including having mediation sessions for the bullies and victims, mentors for younger/vulnerable children etc

TheDailyMailareabunchofcunts Fri 06-May-16 18:51:31

Dd had massive issues with bullying this year. Lots of time off. I was disgusted with the way she was treated.
I have to say I very nearly pulled her out totally. I did eventually get a good resolution but it was touch and go and very very fraught for everyone involved. Lots of very sensible policies have been written off the back of it.
I think some schools just don't believe that kids can be this crafty and sly. They overestimate their own abilities to see what's going on under their noses. That was half the problem with is anyway.
They need to realise that kids are bloody devious at times and much cleverer than they think!

Doobydoo Fri 06-May-16 18:52:07

Baconymum is spot on imo. School ds 2 went to .... one bully had a parentvwho was a v involved in school so he couldnt possibly be like that! Also head teacher called issues people had highlighred in her newsletter ' low level bullying!!!!!! Son is now home edded.This is a village school apprix 70 pupils.

Doobydoo Fri 06-May-16 18:52:31

Sorry no punctuation

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 18:55:48

Yes I have noticed in certain schools the problem parents being governors/on PTA/friends with a teacher can be an issue too.

One teacher friend of mine had issues with an old friend of ours expecting their child to get special treatment (not bullying but let off with not doing homework/absences etc), that so wasn't going to happen! Aside from anything else my friend wasn't about to jeopardise her career!

notonthebandwagon Fri 06-May-16 18:56:48

YANBU

wasonthelist Fri 06-May-16 18:59:29

Sadly there's a lot of bullying outside schools in wider society - it must be hard to eradicate something that is so widespread.

BoneyBackJefferson Fri 06-May-16 19:01:24

As has been posted its very hard for schools to deal with bullying. They have to follow procedures and if they miss one its back to the beginning.

It is frustrating for everyone, pupils, parents and teachers.

NeedACleverNN Fri 06-May-16 19:03:39

I don't think social media has helped either
The bullying is now continued whilst at home online.

This is what the school can't control

Youarenotkiddingme Fri 06-May-16 19:03:49

Yep - it's selling a product.

It's not bullying as such DS has issues with (but there has been some stuff) but his is Sen needs.

It's the same thing - back and forth back and forth, hide deny, blame the parents.

It's scary that we are becoming a society where cutting back budgets is becoming for important than protecting the minority who are bullied or need more to do well in exams. It seems to cater only for those kids that don't needs any nurturing.

It boils my piss.

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 19:09:31

The selling a product pisses me off too.

I personally think allowing parents to choose schools was start of the problem (although I realise it can also be a massively helpful solution).

I went to nearest school and there was no notion of it being otherwise. Plus surely the aim should be for ALL schools to be well run, providing good academic structure and pastoral care?

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 19:11:40

I'd also be interested to know why children aren't able to give feedback to eg Ofsted on their schools? Yes some might be daft about it but I suspect most would give honest critiques. Generally my dd likes her current school but certain teachers she describes as 'useless' and then explains why, don't engage pupils well, seeming to struggle with class control etc.

WhirlwindHugs Fri 06-May-16 19:12:45

Local school has taken more than a week to clear up/paint over open graffiti about a student in toilets - not impressed with that at all.

Zero tolerance should mean stuff like that is removed straight away!

Baconyum Fri 06-May-16 19:14:18

Whirlwind I agree that's unacceptable!

IthinkIamsinking Fri 06-May-16 19:27:15

Bullying is the most overused word in schools. A minor falling out..... bullying. Argument on social media..... bullying. Difficulties adjusting to school life..... bullying. IMO resilience amongst kids these days is almost non-existent. The minute something goes wrong with another student then parents are shouting 'bullying'

I have dealt with kids who really ARE being bullied. Often they wont say anything until is reaches intolerable levels.
Within my role I come down like a ton of bricks on any student(s)who engage in genuine bullying and will not rest until it stops. I have a range of strategies/tricks up my sleeve to deal with it. That said, it can take hours and hours of time that myself and my colleagues just don't have.

Social media/technology figures in about 95% of genuine bullying cases.

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