I have two female friends who are each (separately) engaged - they're both work colleagues, but due to the nature of our job we've known each other a long time and often see each other outside of work, so I consider them more friends than colleagues. They are closer to each other than I am to either of them, but I'm close enough to be invited to both weddings and both hen dos. They are each others' maids of honour.
The nature of my job means I am often gobsmacked at the materialism and sheer flashiness of people here (we earn very good money), and that's no different in respect of these friends. I have a very different background from
most of my colleagues and so I am have a different perspective on money and what counts as "good", "posh" or "expensive". I usually just ignore it as much as possible and I have no issue telling them to sod off regularly when they decide on insanely priced restaurants and bars for social occasions. However, this materialism has become exacerbated since the engagements.
Friend N got engaged in September - she's got a £15k engagement ring with a 1.6 carat diamond, which we heard about non-stop for weeks. Finally that was replaced by constant chat about venues etc (she's having a wedding in the UK at a very expensive venue, at which guestrooms alone are £175 per night) and finally the other details. As she's getting married in the UK she has decided on a hen do abroad, which will cost around £500 just for flights and hotel. She is also expecting wedding presents. .
Friend K got engaged in March - her ring is £17k and from a very exclusive NYC designer (apparently this is important as we've heard a lot about it). She has booked a venue in France for just 2 months after M's wedding - again, very expensive and will require a whole weekend out there as it's not super accessible. She also expects wedding presents. She told N she would like a London hen due to abroad wedding, however just this week she has decided she wants to go to Dubai at a cost of around £1500 each. I have said no to this and explained that it's ridiculous, don't worry.
Entire cost of each wedding looking like £50k or so.
Perhaps more importantly than the sheer extortionate cost and materialism is the amount of bitching from these two "best friends".
- N is upset because her chosen dress costs £X - K has gone and bought a designer dress costing the same amount for the night before her own wedding. Apparently this is awful.
- K is upset that N has refused Dubai on the grounds that she has to save for her own wedding. K's fiancé has offered to pay for flights, but N refuses to take the money.
- N is upset that K has picked a time so close to Ns own wedding for hers. Apparently its not as special now.
- K is upset that N didn't spend as much on her engagement present as she spent on hers.
- N is upset that K has bettered her ring.
- N is upset that K isn't paying for her won wedding (parents are) and yet N has to pay for her own (well, N's fiancé is paying). Apparently K doesn't understand the cost issues.
- K is upset that N made a comment that "not having a free bar makes you look cheap" - K wasn't planning on one...
- N is upset that K said "why would you get married in England? It's much more romantic abroad".
- and many more.
AIBU to not go to either wedding on the grounds that they are both absolutely ridiculous?
