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AIBU?

I scraped dh's car today

78 replies

kansasmum · 05/05/2016 21:42

I live in a rural area and take ds to piano lesson in the back of beyond on the moor! Very narrow lanes.
Today I had to drive dh's car as mine is getting a fault fixed. I hate driving dh's car it has shit visibility. Anyway turning left out of VERY narrow lane there was a horse ( moorland pony) on the corner so I was driving slowly to avoid spooking pony. Turned left and didn't see a bloody rock til I hit it. Scraped all the sill on dh's carSad
Got home told Dh what I'd done and apologised profusely. Explained about trying to not to spook horse etc. The sensors didnt go off either probably rock was too low.

Anyway Dh was understandably annoyed. I said I would organise repair if he wanted.
Anyway after a frosty 30 mins he was ok but now for the past 2 hours he's been really sulky and barely replying. I asked him what was wrong but just got 'nothing'.
I get that he's annoyed. It was an accident I have apologised and said I'll sort the repair but he's just really moody with me.
We can afford to repair it without going through insurance.

Aibu to think he's being childish now by sulking?

OP posts:
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AnyFucker · 05/05/2016 21:44

I don't think he's being childish

I think he is being an arsehole. Is this how he usually behaves when someone makes a mistake ?

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Littlepeople12345 · 05/05/2016 21:44

He's being really bloody childish. It was a fucking accident.

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acasualobserver · 05/05/2016 21:49

I can't bear this attitude to cars. It's just a thing - a thing that can be repaired or replaced. I'd want to tell your husband to grow the fuck up.

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AnyFucker · 05/05/2016 21:54

Faced with this scenario (and it has happened, more than once) my H said "are you ok ?" then "were the kids with you, are they ok?" then "what's the damage" then "I'll book it in with Dave on Monday"

The End.

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whatdoIget · 05/05/2016 21:55

I read your op as 'scrapped' which would have been extreme. He's overreacting to a slight scraping though. Or even if you had written it off, he'd still be overreacting. Shit happens.

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MsMims · 05/05/2016 21:57

YANBU

You've apologised and said you'll get it repaired, what more does he realistically want you to do?

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gamerchick · 05/05/2016 22:00

Faced with this scenario (and it has happened, more than once) my H said "are you ok ?" then "were the kids with you, are they ok?" then "what's the damage" then "I'll book it in with Dave on Monday"

The End


This is actually pretty much what my husband would say and me for that matter if it was visa versa.

Some people can be babies about their cars. It's just a car and a scrape can be sorted.

Is he only like this infrequently though? That's more important.

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lateforeverything · 05/05/2016 22:00

Yanbu... from someone who unashamedly loves her car lol Wink

Even I would have got over it by now... as a pp said it is just a thing ateotd Confused

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gamerchick · 05/05/2016 22:01

I read it as scrapped as well and wondered what on earth he had done for something hardcore.

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booklooker · 05/05/2016 22:03

Some people just need a bit more time to get over stuff like that

He's not had a go at you, just give him the time.

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Pinkheart5915 · 05/05/2016 22:04

It was just an accident these things happen and you've said sorry and offered to repair what more does he want? He will get over it, it's just men and there cars.

I have never forgotten the Shock look on dh face when I scrapped his Ferrari but after an hour he got over it

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scribblegirl · 05/05/2016 22:06

I actually differ from lots of pp's. I don't think you should be punished but he needs some time to get over it.

Let him crack on. It he's being a dick tomorrow then you can lay down the law. He's just a bit hurt and if he's a good guy, he might just be quiet because he doesn't want to be horrid to you out of sadness and regret it tomorrow.

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scribblegirl · 05/05/2016 22:07

I once shrunk DP's favourite jumper. If he'd done that to mine I'd probably cry and ban him from laundry for ever

He went quiet for a bit and I left him to it. He was sad, but knew it wasn't my fault and not worthy of getting upset over. He just needed a bit of mourning for it Grin

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MaddyHatter · 05/05/2016 22:09

Dh scraped my car the other day.. there is a lovely scratch right on my offside front bumper.

You know what i did when he told me?

Said 'oh dear, never mind' then commented it matched mine on the nearside rear bumper and then forgot about it!

Sulking is stupid.

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lampygirl · 05/05/2016 22:11

Would you feel different if a stranger had scraped your car with theirs, or with a shopping bag or anything else that essentially causes the same damage. If you'd be cross if it happened to you in a car park you have to understand why he is annoyed. How does it suddenly become 'an accident' if you did it but 'that wanker from next door who can't park' when they bump yours, which is arguably just as much 'an accident'. Devils advocate done with.

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TheFuckersBitingMe · 05/05/2016 22:12

DH just shook his head last time I 'kissed' a garage with his car. He just couldn't be bothered to even open his mouth. (It may have happened more than once).

He's being a giant baby. Tell him you're not even sorry any more.

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Smurfling43 · 05/05/2016 22:13

I've done similar, dh reaction? " as long as your ok, the car can be fixed" no anger or sulking.

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Puppymouse · 05/05/2016 22:20

DH scraped my car so badly the whole door needed replacing and I lost my no claims as he's on my policy. I was a bit gutted if I'm honest but he was so upset with himself and it was just a misjudged tight corner in the lane behind our house. You can't dwell on it for too long. But as a pp said some people just take time to get over this kind of thing. Hopefully he'll be ok about it by the weekend. Flowers

Ps as a rider with a horse that was terrified by a trailer the other day and spooking everywhere I am hugely grateful for your careful driving Halo

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kansasmum · 05/05/2016 22:22

Glad it's not just me that thinks he's being an arse!

He's not normally like this with stuff.
I didn't know this but his car is booked into the dealership tomorrow for a fault repair ( must be the week for it in our house!) so perhaps he is embarrassed! Well he can tell them I did it and then bloody get over it!!

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AnyFucker · 05/05/2016 22:25

Puppy...you would give such a baby until the weekend to find his maturity ?

He would get 5 minutes with me

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greenfolder · 05/05/2016 22:28

That is exactly how my dh would behave. Despite being rational, sensitive and kind in every other way. I just refuse to drive his car ever.

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Radicalrooster · 05/05/2016 22:28

How much will the repairs cost. Two very small scrapes on my rear bumper (caused by me) will cost around £300 to polish out. If you've scratched the length of the sill it could cost a significant amount.

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Confusednotcom · 05/05/2016 22:31

Give him a bit of time, everyone is different and he's not actively hounding you about it. I would be upset too even if I didn't blame dp at all... I'd still take a while to come to terms with my car being accidentally damaged.

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MaddyHatter · 05/05/2016 22:43

i have a mangled wheel trim too.. also NOT MY FAULT.

I don't let DH live that one down... he managed to scrape some rocks and punctured BOTH of my passenger side tyres and smashed my wheel trim on the front.

Its held on with cable ties.. whenever i've had any work done, i always tell them that wasn't me, it was DH.

Grin

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Palomb · 05/05/2016 22:45

He's being a dick. We all have accidents.. That's why people have insurance!

My dh can be a bit of a dick about things like this but thankfully recognises the fact when he's told to buck his ideas up. Your dh should not be punishing you. You didn't do it for fun!

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