My aunt has been diagnosed with Cancer. How to support my Mum

(8 Posts)
cjt110 Thu 05-May-16 14:06:32

- post in chat but here for traffic too -

My aunt is a few years older than my Mum, approx 53. She has been to see gynae because she has had continuous bleeding for the past 18m. She did seek help for this earlier but was told it's probably normal - menopause etc. She was also distracted (?) with seeking out a diagnosis for breathing issues and after finally receiving a diagnosis, went back to her GP who referred her to gynae who have done tests (I assume a smear) and called her yesterday asking her to go and see them today as it's very important. She has been told she has cancer of the uterus and will need a CT scan, a hysterectomy and also possibly radiotherapy.

My Mum is in bits. She doesn't have a lot to do with her other siblings but spends a fair bit of time talking to/visiting/hosting this sister.

I've tried to comfort my Mum (she just told me now when I called her at lunch) by saying, perhaps naively, that if it is within the uterus, and a hysterectomy is performed, followed by radiography, that all will be ok. But it's not is it? Even if she gets the all clear it's shit. She's going to be very poorly and it's shit. And what if she doesn't get the all clear....

My Grandma (Mum's Mum) died from cancer of the stomach 10 years ago and I think this is partly why my Mum is so upset as it's bringing back memories and also, her love for her sister.

I don't know what to do. I like this Aunt but I don't have much to do with her and so don't really feel a great deal. I feel really upset for my Mum.

cjt110 Thu 05-May-16 14:45:48

bump

RuggerHug Thu 05-May-16 15:07:34

V.similar situation myself with my Mam and her sister. Honestly feel that all I've been able to do that's helped is listening to her, going on visits to Aunt with her (not all the time ) and what may seem stupid but I think has been the best help

RuggerHug Thu 05-May-16 15:09:25

Sorry hit post too soon! Telling her to step away from google/wiki whenever there's a hospital update. Just be there and ask if there's anything she wants. Hope things do get better, there's every chance.

cjt110 Thu 05-May-16 15:11:04

I really hope so Rugger. But even so, it's still a long road ahead. Sorry to hear you're in a similar situation. Its truly shitty isnt it?

BarbarianMum Thu 05-May-16 15:16:11

Just listen sympathetically and help her stay calm. What your aunt will need from your mum is a sympathetic, calm ear and possibly some company and practical help. You both need to take your cue from her.

cjt110 Thu 05-May-16 15:21:36

Apparently my Aunt is quite positive according to my Mum. I said to my mum to take from that. My Mum thinks that my Aunt is just in shock. And she is panicking because it's her sister. I texted my Dad and he even said he doesnt know how to support my Mum.

My mum had a similar scare last year with bleeding and abnormal cells. Thankfully turned out to be nothing. Perhaps thats also resonating with her.

cjt110 Thu 05-May-16 15:27:24

Apparently my Aunt is quite positive according to my Mum. I said to my mum to take from that. My Mum thinks that my Aunt is just in shock. And she is panicking because it's her sister. I texted my Dad and he even said he doesnt know how to support my Mum.

My mum had a similar scare last year with bleeding and abnormal cells. Thankfully turned out to be nothing. Perhaps thats also resonating with her.

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