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AIBU?

to just say sod it take ds

12 replies

blinkyoullmissit · 05/05/2016 12:25

DP has been out socialising so much recently. He's out every weekend and goes out every day to do his hobby and see his friends. I haven't been out in ages! I do all the night shifts with ds, all the cleaning etc. Today it's gorgeous weather and he went to see his friends, despite knowing we had loads to do at home. I'm a bit miffed as now I have to juggle ds and all these jobs and ds is in a bad mood.

I've told DP that when he gets back this eve he has to give ds a bath and put him to bed while I go out for a bit.

(DP has been between jobs so has had a month off work. During this month I've left the house once without ds and that was for half an hour to go to a funeral wake)

AIBU to say this? Or is my sleep deprived mind just being totally dramatic

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PPie10 · 05/05/2016 12:26

Yanbu at all. Go out and enjoy yourself.

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Diddlydokey · 05/05/2016 12:28

Nope, you should both get equal time off duty from parenting. He might just think that you haven't wanted to go out. Has he checked that it's okay before he's gone?

Why isn't he doing the night shift?

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MorrisZapp · 05/05/2016 12:29

Wtf? Did you agree to this outrageous imbalance of responsibility?

In my house it's fifty fifty, and while we do clear it with each other first, there's no asking permission.

For every hour he goes out, you get an hour out. Unless he's a selfish prick in which case come back and we'll help you put a rocket up his sorry arse.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2016 13:39

YANBU! Go out and enjoy the weather. And if he kicks up any sort of fuss, just ask him why he's not choosing to spend time with his child.

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blinkyoullmissit · 05/05/2016 13:44

Thank you guys! Thought maybe I was just being grumpy.
I've arranged to go see my best friend. I'm so excited to have a little break!
Hope everyone's enjoying the sun

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AnneLovesGilbert · 05/05/2016 17:12

It'll be good for them to have some time together. Annoying as he's being it might be (benefit of the doubt here) that your DP is a bit nervous of how it would be spending time with your DC on his own and if he doesn't have much time to think about it and worry in advance he'll throw himself into and they'll be more used to each other next time you fancy some time to yourself.

Enjoy your break!

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IcyTeaAndScoopyScoopyDogDog · 05/05/2016 17:15

Why are you so excited to get a small piece of time, or worried that telling the father of your child that he must give a bath to his kid is somehow not ok?

Why does he get to arse about all day ? Don't you say anything?

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ChipsandGuac · 05/05/2016 17:15

Do you mean you've left the house once this month alone or literally only left the house once this month?! Because if it's the latter, that is craaaaaaazzzzy!

Enjoy your night off x

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Nanny0gg · 05/05/2016 17:30

Does he not want to spend time with his family?

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operaha · 05/05/2016 17:59

I literally am sat here with my jaw on the floor. I can't believe these relationships exist! Did you not exchange parenting views before you know, becoming parents? Where did you sign to be chief cook and bottle washer? Why did you?

I don't have children with my partner, but I do have 3 of my own and one of the many factors my ex husband is an ex was his lack of capability looking after his children (yes we discussed it, but he lied). I felt like a single parent, so became one.

TELL HIM, that you are having equal "free" time and be done with it. On what planet is that unreasonable?