I have namechanged for this as I think DH knows my usual posting name and I would rather he didnt stumble across this
Background
I am genuinely dental phobic. Or to be more precise about it, dental surgeries, dentists, people putting tools and fingers inside my mouth, and the biggest one of all needles. It all stems back to when I was a child and I didnt want a filling done so the bastard of a dentist got one nurse to hold me down, one nurse to hold my head in a vice like grip while he did the injections, drilling and filling. With me screaming. I still have flashbacks to it now, and yes, I have had counselling and cbt.
Its taken me a very long time to be able to get a grip on myself to be able to take my dc to the dentist. Its taken me even longer for me to get to sit in the chair. Looking is fine, anything else I get sedated for. Including check ups
Status quo.
I need dental work done. Im shitting myself about it, but I cant ignore the crumbling tooth anymore, or the fact that it fucking well hurts. Ive been ignoring it for the best part of a year now hoping it will go away but it wont. I've already asked the dentist if he will perform a full extraction but he is saying I am too young for this option (I'm mid thirties) and it would not be an option he would recommend on psychological grounds.
All dental work is done under sedation for me, however the waiting list for NHS dental work under sedation in my area is approx 18 months.
So I do it privately.
However the quote for the latest round of work I need doing is around £500. it isnt just the crumbling tooth that needs doing as the last time I visited the dentist was 6 years ago.
I do work, but this is only part time, freelance work. One of the dc has special needs (medical) so I am unable to work fulltime. The understanding I have always had with the husband was that I stayed at home to look after the dc, and he would deal with the family finances.
However he is refusing point blank to pay the latest dental bill. He has told me that 'I just have to get used to' having the work done unsedated, and once your mouth is numb you wont feel a thing anyway. This is just fuelling the phobia. It fucking hurts to chew, I dont want the work done, however I need it done. And I cant have it done. There is just absolutely no way I would be able to walk in there, sit down and have it done. And unfortunately this time cbt isnt going to have much effect as it takes time that I dont have for it to work.
So wibu? DH for telling me to grow up and get over myself (yes really), or me for being so utterly stupid about something that millions of people dont have an issue with. This is why I want a full extraction. No more teeth issues.
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18 replies
hailstoneslikegardenpeas · 29/04/2016 22:30
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