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AIBU?

AIBU about work? (Long sorry)

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catgirl1976 · 29/04/2016 18:50

I have worked for my company for 11 years and am in a senior role.

My boss is a director.

A while ago (about 6 weeks ago) I became very stressed and anxious about the working environment. I have been basically bounced into another job that I don't really want but had little choice (I think I have a very good case for constructive dismissal but the reality of leaving my job, not having another one to go to and then waiting a year for a tribunal to conclude is not financially possible and I couldnt handle the stress)

I went to the GP who has put me on Citralopram and Beta Blockers. He offered to sign me off but my boss has not been of sick since 1982 (he recounts this a lot) and being off sick is even more stress due to his attitude so I carried on working.
My boss is aware I have been suffering from workplace stress and am on medication for it.

On Monday I wa due to attend a meeting in London. However, due to an issue at Crewe when I got to the station all the trains were cancelled. I returned to the office and sent a few emails on the way, including one to my bos referencing the fact I was returning to the office due to the major rail disruption.

When I got back in I saw him and mentioned the trains being cancelled. He said "Not all the trains were cancelled. The two before yours (which I didn't have tickets for and would have no reason to get to the station for) ran and then yours and the others after it were cancelled). Meaning he had checked up on me. On its own this doesn't sound like much but it's symptomatic of the way he pries and checks and gets involved with things that should not really concern a director. I have never not attended a client meeting and there have been no issues around my conduct that should prompt him to check up on me

I was due to travel to London again today (I go two or three times a week. It's a 3.5 to 4 hour each way commute from where I live - frequently do 14 hour days including this travel for no extra pay or TOIL). However, I have tonsilitis.

I got up a six to go to the meeting. I felt terrible. DH took one look at me and said "You cannot go to London like that". He was right and there's no way I would have made it through the day. I e-mailed the client to re-arrange the meeting for next week. DH said to go back to bed and he would look after DS and ring work for me.

I fell back asleep. At about half twelve, the FD (not my boss but another director) rang me, waking me up. I didn't answer the phone as I can't talk and am a bit out of it with fever. A few minutes later I saw an email from the FD asking if I could find a document for him. I emailed another colleague (Who happens to be the HR admin) asking her if she could send it to him.

I fell asleep again.

About 2pm I woke up and felt well enough to go downstairs. I had an email from another colleague asking how the meeting went. I replied that I had had to arrange it due to sickness.

I then asked DH what work had said about me being off. He told me he had forgotten to tell them.

I rang the HR admin, told her I was sick, had re-arranged the client meeting and apologised for not ringing earlier but explained I had been asleep and DH had said he would call and then forgotten. She said no problems.

Then she emailed me saying I hadnt mentioned I was sick in my email. I explained again that I thought DH had rung in and that the FD had woken me when he called and emailed, I'd responded to his email and then gone back to sleep. I forwarded her the email to the client at 6:30 this morning re arrainging the meeting and his response say it was fine, plus the email from the FD saying he'd tried to call but could I get him xx document.

She then emailed saying it was my boss checking up on me.

I am sick of his constant checking. This is the 2nd day off I have had this year. I think he is going to imply I wasn't going to call in sick and just not go to the meeting. I've never done anything like that in the 11 years I've been with the company.

It probably doesn't sound like much but it's this horrible toxic culture he creates where there is no trust. The last time I was ill I took an emergency holiday rather than ring in sick because he is so horrible about it. It's every single thing. Every line on expenses is scrutinised. If other people are late due to traffic issues he checks the traffic reports. He's supposed to be a senior director but he seems to have so much free time to check up on people. When someone took a day off to go to the coroners after their dad died he wanted a letter from the coroner saying they attended.

AIBU to feel really stressed and anxious about work. I know I'm not seeing things right or I wouldn't be on medication but he just makes and issue and drama out of everything. I'm half expecting to walk into a disciplinary on Tuesday and it's making me ill.

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Toofondofcake · 29/04/2016 18:58

Totally get why you're feeling to anxious and stressed a micro-managing boss can be really awful to handle day to day. Could you maybe put something of how you are feeling on record with the HR lady and then sit down together with her and your boss and talk through how difficult the situation he's putting you in is?

Hope it eases off soon!