To not see the fun in a poo on a plate?

[oldjacksscrote]

Just found my son sitting with his play kitchen set, I thought he'd found some of last nights shepherds pie under the table and put it on a plate, after giving it a sniff it turns out to be a piece of poo!

Why, when he has so many toys, a whole box of pretend food did he take poo out of his potty to play with??

After a discussion about how dirty and dangerous it is he just found it "fun mummy"

Please share your disgustingly funny toddler stories so I know I'm not the only one with a gross 2yo.

[oldjacksscrote]

Derek That's a great image, did it make him ill?

I'm trying not to think About the germs in my living room right now.

[honeylulu]

My husband said his little brother used to take poos from the potty and place them neatly on a shelf in the toy cupboard. They had no idea why it made their mum so cross when she found them.

[ghostoftheMNchicken]

Fuck me, I thought it was going to be a pretend piece of poo.

I learned the lesson of playing closer attention to my DD in the bath (was in the same room, just distracted), when she had a giant crap in the water, fished it out and left it on the side of the bath like a fat tickled trout.

[Mousefinkle]

My DS used to eat and play with his poo. He went through a phase we referred to as "poo massacre".

Basically if you left him alone in a room for a bit and he did a poo he would immediately rip the nappy off, smear the poo all over himself and the room and occasionally eat it. I was once laying down on the sofa with him sat behind me when I smelt poo, I thought oh god he's done one better get it changed quick before he plays with it- he was sat chomping on a lump!! This was when he was around 13-16 months of age. I walked into his bedroom a few times in the morning with him sat in his cot making poo paintings on the wall. I'm not even kidding. I can't wait to tell him about that phase when he grows up... His hands permanently smelt of shit, it's astonishingly difficult to lift. I used to have to make him eat citrus fruits because it was all I could get to lift the stench.

[GastonsPomPomWrath]

My ds once picked up a stray turd in a friends garden. She has a dog and had obviously missed it when poo picking. Ds was a typical toddler, excellent at getting into everything he shouldn't.
Drinking coffee in the garden, he carried the turd up to my friend and dropped it on her lap

She was mortified.

3 year old dd is also a grim little beast. She has a habit of licking things. She'll lick the trolley handle or the car door handle, recently she's started blowing on glass to see the condensation then licking it off

[honeylulu]

EatShitDerek is your user name in tribute to your brother's childhood habits?

[dannydyerismydad]

I once found a perfectly round boulder of poo on a Brio bridge

I have no clue if DS squatted over the train track or if he fished it from the potty.

I used a lot of antibac that day.

[sophree]

My DD used to hold her poo in all day and once put to bed, would take her pull up off and rub her poo up the walls.
Had to repaint them 3 times !!!

[TheRealBarenziah]

The technical term for eating poo is "coprophagia". It happens often enough that there is a technical term!

[whois]

He went through a phase we referred to as "poo massacre".
Basically if you left him alone in a room for a bit and he did a poo he would immediately rip the nappy off, smear the poo all over himself and the room and occasionally eat it. I was once laying down on the sofa with him sat behind me when I smelt poo, I thought oh god he's done one better get it changed quick before he plays with it- he was sat chomping on a lump!! This was when he was around 13-16 months of age. I walked into his bedroom a few times in the morning with him sat in his cot making poo paintings on the wall. I'm not even kidding. I can't wait to tell him about that phase when he grows up... His hands permanently smelt of shit, it's astonishingly difficult to lift. I used to have to make him eat citrus fruits because it was all I could get to lift the stench.

Oh. My. God.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My younger son, left unattended nappyless (was in the middle of potty training), poohed on a toy farmyard set. Have you ever tried getting rubbed-in pooh off wooden fencing and a collection of plastic cows?

You haven't lived.

[RoomForASmallOne]

My DD was a poo painter

[NeedACleverNN]

[ipswichwitch]

DS2 hasn't quite reached the lofty heights of poo munching (yet), but he does lick the handle on the trolley, doors, windows, people, shoes, and on one occasion SIL's dog. I did catch him advancing with his tongue out towards the toilet once. Just after his dad had been in. Why you'd want to lick something that smelled like something had died in it is beyond me.

[MrsBimbles]

My DD(3) is awful for licking things. She's also going through a stage of wilfully wetting herself at the moment, she's fine at nursery and when we're out thank goodness, but just wets herself in the house when she's perfectly capable of going to the toilet.

Yesterday my husband showed her her wet pants to show her how smelly they get when she wets herself, she took a great big deep sniff and said 'mmmm lovely!'

[dillydotty]

I found a perfectly curled poo in a little plastic bowl. I admired DDS aim, I couldn't do that if I tried.

[ErNope]

Err memories...
I was babysitting my nephew. he was around 18 months old. I had him in a cot next to my bed, At 4am, He managed to un clip his vest at the bottom, Take his nappy off and drop/throw it (he was around 4 inches from my bed) next to my head on the pillow! euch.
My sister bought me dominos after that

[Tryingtostayyoung]

When I just started potty training DD she was fascinated with her poo, if I was out of the room when she needed to go she would do it in her knickers, take it out and smear it EVERYWHERE, curtains, walls, floor, toy kitchen it was disgusting. Sometimes this would happen all in a space of about 4mins when I was hanging washing out/doing a wee!!

[BrandNewAndImproved]

My dd was a morning poo painter as well.

I once ate her poo by accident. She had a teething nappy, I washed my hands then a hour or so later I was eating crisps. 10 years ago those French manicure acrylics were in fashion and I being a greedy disgusting bugger licked under my huge nails to get the rest of the crisps that went under it and then noticed I had poo under my nails and had ate it.

Fucking rank

[OhMrBadger]

When I was little I had a friend who would go round standing dog poo up on its end!! He also claimed that if they had dried out and gone white they no longer smelt.

I hadn't thought about him in years! Wonder what what became of him and his poo-placing ways...?

[bluebelle2662]

Went in to DS room one morning, several months ago, to find him chomping on a little turd he had fished out of his nappy. It was absolutely rancid.

And in the last few weeks, when I have been changing his nappy he has seen the poo and smacked his lips together...

[SpareCrust]

Once came back in to sitting room to find dd in her playpen eating the (fortunately fresh) contents of her nappy. She was smiling!

First time parents so rang the anti-poisons help-line in distress who quite rightly gave us short shrift