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AIBU?

To be pissed off??

16 replies

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 09:16

It has become apparent in recent weeks that I seem to spend my entire life waiting around for other people to sort their shit out and I've had enough of it!!
I'm a SAHM, DH works FT. We live a short drive away from DH's workplace but the house in a tiny village in the arse end of nowhere and we only have one car between us.
Now this may sound pedantic, but it's really starting to wind me up....If I need the car for anything during the day ie. Appointments etc, I have to drop DH off at work around 7:30am, do what I need to do during the day, and then wait on DH to call me so I know when I have to go and pick him up - it's never the same time everyday, which makes cooking family meals for the 3 of us (DD is 12mo) difficult. On several occasions in recent weeks DH has called me and said "I'll be ready for you to get me at 5pm", so I leave my house at 4:30 to be at his work for 5....I then sit in the car with DD for up to an hour waiting for him.
Yesterday, my dad was coming over. He told me he would be here mid-morning, so I thought I would pop to the village shop later on after he had left.....and he showed up at 2pm with no phonecall or anything to let me know he would be late
AIBU to think that if you tell someone a time you stick to it, or let the person know you will be late?!

GRRRRRRRR!!!

OP posts:

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 29/04/2016 09:19

Ooh. Your dad should have updated you. Work can be difficult though. You can hardly walk out if there's something that needs dealing with or someone needs to talk to you, and I doubt he wants to stay at work longer!

Could you get a second car or one of you use taxis on the days that you both need one? It seems the single car model is causing some stress.

leelu66 · 29/04/2016 09:20

YANBU. Buy another run around (if you can afford it).

If you can't, next time your Dad comes over, tell him you'll be leaving at x time.

If your DH is not out of his office, leave after 10 minutes.

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 09:38

It's such a whingey thing to moan about I know, but so so annoying.
A second car would be the perfect solution....but there's no way we can afford to tax and insure another car - I'm only 21 so the cost to insure me on a vehicle is still crazy expensive
DH is on a 4 month long course at the moment which is why transport is a lot more difficult than usual! He is in the forces, and 4 of his close colleagues live on the same street as us, so usually they all car share - but non of them are doing the same course, so are in work at different times. Once this course is over, everything will be back to normal.....I'm just so frustrated by it. Kind of feels like people assume that because I'm a SAHM I don't have things to do or places to be, so I can just sit around waiting for them all the time

OP posts:

penisbeakerlaminateflooringetc · 29/04/2016 09:41

Can he get a bike so he can bike to work?

Or can you get a bike with a child seat so you can bike to appointments?

Or get a bike between the two of you and whoever it is most convenient for to use it has it.

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 09:53

DH has a bike - and the plan when we moved here was for him to bike the 8 miles from home to work and back during the Spring/summer....he took his bike to work a few months ago and left it there like an idiot for a couple of days. He went back to get it, and someone had used it and knackered the wheels on it So at the moment he doesn't have a bike until we can afford to get it fixed or get a new one!!
We only live 8 miles from DH's work, but 17 miles in one direction to the closest town, and 12 miles in the other direction to another town....so cycling with a baby on the back for 17 miles isn't really do-able for me.
I can't wait for July for this course to be over!!!

OP posts:

leelu66 · 29/04/2016 11:20

Couldn't your DH take the bus to work?

It does sound like a PITA

scaryteacher · 29/04/2016 16:40

leelu66 If the OP's husband is HM Forces, then you leave when the job is done, or your boss says you can go, and your lift has to suck it up (been there, done that, have several T shirts). If otoh, he has finished at 1700, but gone to grab a drink in the mess, then I would make him walk.

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 17:59

scaryteacher make him walk
The last few weeks it's not been a case of him not finishing until an hour after I get there....he's just become the go-to guy for some of the others who are struggling with paperwork. He's too nice to just say "I can't stay and help you, my wife is waiting outside with the baby"

OP posts:

memyselfandaye · 29/04/2016 18:03

Can he ring you when he is actually leaving and you meet him along the way?

arethereanyleftatall · 29/04/2016 18:05

Just don't go to collect him until he is actually finished and outside his office. If it's only 8 miles, that's only a ten, fifteen min drive, so he can just start walking towards you.

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 18:06

I think that's going to have to be it memyself. It takes me around 20 mins with traffic and speed limits to get from my house to his work (it's all windy dangerous country lanes) - so he can ring me when he is definitely 100% done and everyone else has left. He can wait 20 mins for me to get there instead.

OP posts:

anyoldname76 · 29/04/2016 18:06

could he get a moped? cheap to run and hed only need to do his cbt for now.

MyBreadIsEggy · 29/04/2016 18:17

anyold picturing him on a moped
It could be an option....but like I said up thread, this is only going to be a few months of dicking about while he's on this course, which I can deal with, it just made me really mad this morning!!

OP posts:

anyoldname76 · 29/04/2016 18:34

i think on a cbt he can ride upto a 125cc, some of them look almost like a real motorbike it is annoying though, weve got a car between us and its a pain in the arse sometimes, although my walk to work is only 15 minutes, i still need the car on occasion

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/04/2016 21:43

Second cars are expensive, you have double the tax , extra insurance and 90% of the time your car is sitting there anyway having got you from A->B.

My DH doesn't drive so when I was on ML , I still drove him to work and picked him up.
When my DC went to Nursery, I dropped them off/picked up because though it's only a few miles, the bus journey would be an hour.

DH works FT , I work PT . Most days I pass by his work I drop him off. Sometimes he has meetings which would involve a bus+train+bus+walk. If I drive him, 20 minutes. If I'm not at work , I do.If not he takes public transport.
Because my DH doesn't drive, he doesn't want the car. I have food shopping, DC appointments etc to deal with (on my non work days)
We couldn't afford a 2nd car, or have the need for one either.

Seems a bit unfair IMO to make him get a bus or bike when you have no real reason not to drive him, you have the benefit of having the car at your disposal then.
As you say, it's only a couple of months to go.

MammaTJ · 29/04/2016 22:11

he's just become the go-to guy for some of the others who are struggling with paperwork. He's too nice to just say "I can't stay and help you, my wife is waiting outside with the baby"

You clearly need to make him more afraid of pissing you off than his colleagues!

He does not think of your feelings or struggles with a one year old waiting in the car for an hour are important enough. You need him to understand that is important!

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