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AIBU?

Getting my boobs out

438 replies

wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 27/04/2016 18:58

I thought it was all a hoax about people making judgey comments about breastfeeding in public and that no one in their right mind would actually say anything...

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe. I thought I was being quite discreet but obviously not in his opinion.

I was so shocked I couldn't say anything, I didn't think that this actually happened Confused. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm quite upset about it (although won't stop me doing it in future) and can see why some women stop BF if they get comments like that on a regular basis.

OP posts:
TimeToMuskUp · 27/04/2016 19:00

I got it occasionally, even from MIL and family, who ought to know me well enough to know that I'm pig-headed at the best of times, and quite deliberately breastfed both DCs glaringly obviously from then on. You want to feed your child, feed your child. If it bothers folk they can pop to Ikea and buy some muslins to shove over their heads for privacy. Tell them so. Knobbers.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 27/04/2016 19:01

Get one of these. Use it with pride. That will teach the pricks! Grin

Getting my boobs out
wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 27/04/2016 19:02

Zing Grin LOVE IT!!! I'm definitely getting one now.

OP posts:
redexpat · 27/04/2016 19:04

I don't care if you think it's highly inappropriate, the law says otherwise so if you've got a problem take it to your MP. Good day.

WellErrr · 27/04/2016 19:05

I've never experienced it, but if I did, I think I'd say in a loud voice, 'WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY BREASTS? WHY WOULD YOU COME AND TELL ME YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY BREASTS?' and hope to attract lots of attention and make him look like a total prick.

Obviouspretzel · 27/04/2016 19:05

YABU to call him a gentleman.

It beggars belief that anyone would think it's OK to say this to someone.

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/04/2016 19:06

Yes, memorise that sentence!

MarthaCliff · 27/04/2016 19:07

I think you've just been very unlucky to have that happen. I BF all 4 of mine when I was out and about and I never had a tut or a comment. I was discreet but not ridiculously so. Iykwim

wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 27/04/2016 19:07

Wellerr Grin that will definitely be my response from now on.

OP posts:
wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 27/04/2016 19:09

Martha I haven't experienced it before either, not a look or a tut (that I noticed anyway) so I was completely flabbergasted today when it happened...I honestly thought it was an American thing by uber conservatives.

OP posts:
Onlyicanclean10 · 27/04/2016 19:12

Yes unlucky as have heard this before on mumsnet but after feeding
My 4 and literally knowing dozens of mums no one has ever ever been approached by a disapproving stranger.

Still it's enshrined in law now so you should have told him to fuck of.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/04/2016 19:12

A gentleman!!!!!!. He's not my perception of a gentle
By law you can breast feed where you like wether Joe public ars pleased or vexed or what.
Breastfeeding on a personal level wouldnt be for me, but I find it fascinating that. There are idiots out there still freaked out by a pair of boobs.

KateSpade · 27/04/2016 19:12

It does make people feel uncomfortable,

The difference is polite people ignore it, rude/entitled people kick off.

I was with DD, 4 in a coffee shop when I woman pulled her top down and sat breastfeeding a baby totally topless & I mean nothing but boobs & a baby!
That did make me feel uncomfortable!

Especially when DD shouted 'mummy, that ladies naked!' At the top of her voice!

44PumpLane · 27/04/2016 19:13

Honestly these people beggar belief- I genuinely cannot understand their point of view?! And to think it's ok to come over and say something to you!!!

In my youth I wore some ridiculously skimpy and low tops and I've got a substantial cleavage- not one single person ever said to me it was inappropriate and I bet (at times) I had more on display than the average breastfeeding mother.

I don't get it, I honestly just don't get it. Totally perplexed at some peoples "sensibilities".

viciousstarling · 27/04/2016 19:15

kate why do boobs make you uncomfortable Confused

WellErrr · 27/04/2016 19:19

It does make people feel uncomfortable

Actually no, most people are totally comfortable with a baby having a feed.

If you're not - it's YOUR problem, which you really need to get a grip on.

BennyTheBall · 27/04/2016 19:20

I breastfed everywhere and anywhere and no-one so much as tutted in my direction.

I would have loved it if they had, tbh. DH always tells me I'm scary, so maybe I give off a vibe.

00100001 · 27/04/2016 19:20

Its because boobs are sexualised in the western world for some reason vicious

Pixienott0005 · 27/04/2016 19:21

People like that are sick...perverted. Because they obviously see something sick and wrong with something so natural as breast feeding. Wrongens.

I'd be really upset by it too. I'd have honestly ripped into him.

ToomuchChocolatemeansBootcamp · 27/04/2016 19:22

katespade not in my name!! If YOU have a problem with it, own it, but you can't speak for everyone!

Love WellErs response Grin

KateSpade · 27/04/2016 19:25

I honestly have no idea, breastfeeding makes me feel uncomfortable! I'd never do anything about it but it does!

Feed your baby fine, but Is there a need to sit without a top on?

I'm not arguing the gentleman wasn't rude, he was my point is that it actually does make some people feel uncomfortable!

SharingMichelle · 27/04/2016 19:27

I have breastfed 3 children for 9 years total, and all over the place wherever we happened to be. I never once got a grotty comment or even a sideways glance. I was quite disappointed! I used to sit there WAITING for someone to come over and have a go, my acerbic response all ready... but nothing but fond smiles and offers of glasses of water. Pah.

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StrictlyMumDancing · 27/04/2016 19:27

I had a similar experience to kate walking through a shopping centre the other day, a lady had a baby on one boob and the other just hanging there. I actually wondered if she was so knackered she hadn't noticed when DS pointed and loudly shouted 'boobies'. I legged it sharpish Blush

If it happens again just tell them to write to their MP to get the law changed then.

BertrandRussell · 27/04/2016 19:27

I have never, in real life ever heard of this happening to anyone I know. Anyone.

zznotxy · 27/04/2016 19:30

Disgraceful. As a bloke, with 3 kids, all breast fed, wap em out where ever, when ever :). And I will be cheering you on.

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