To not understand how people can be so two faced 😞

(6 Posts)
IDontSayBlahBlahBlah Wed 27-Apr-16 18:38:11

How can some people be saying hateful things about another person and then turn on the person they shared these comments with and become best friends with the person they were hateful about?

This is my sister. She bitches about my brother to me and now she's turned on me again and is his best friend all of a sudden. He does the same to her. How can they switch their feelings like that? Is this a personality disorder? 😕

SallyMcgally Wed 27-Apr-16 18:42:22

Sounds very hurtful, but as if they both have failed really to grow up from child/ adolescent behaviour within the family. I know lots of lovely, mature, functional people who revert to being ridiculously childish and petulant the minute they're with their siblings. Poor you though - it's very wearing. I would just distance yourself for a while and leave them to it. You can't change their behaviour, but you can choose not to engage with it.

IDontSayBlahBlahBlah Wed 27-Apr-16 19:16:26

It's a bit difficult to distance myself when they're constantly rubbing it in my face about how close they are now. Little hand gestures summoning one another to come outside for private conversations when I'm there. We have a relative ill in hospital and they do this then. They know when I'm coming and make sure they're both there to laugh and joke with one another.

I don't get how they're like this. I'd feel ashamed of talking behind someone's back one minute and then best friends the next.

SallyMcgally Thu 28-Apr-16 02:00:10

Ah - I see how that could be difficult. They sound very childish. Sorry it's so hurtful when you're already having a difficult time.

carabos Thu 28-Apr-16 08:17:52

Are they 9? Sounds like very odd behaviour between adults. Ignore them or call them on it - they're your siblings, not your friends, so treat them as you would have done when you were kids, because that's how they are behaving.

puddleduckmummy Thu 28-Apr-16 08:23:09

I have a 'friend' who is like this. However as she's not family, I have the luxury of not having to bother with her. Your sister sounds like a jealous high school girl and your brother sounds easily led. Have you spoken to your parents about this?

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