friend/birthday/dog

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

Last year a friend arranged to go on holiday and asked if I would look after her dog whilst they were away. I agreed no problem as he's a lovely dog and gets on really well with my two.

Recently, when firming up the dates, I found out that she would be away on the weekend of my brother's birthday. We will be staying at his place, having a big party as it's a significant one and much alcohol will be consumed.

However ... my brother has a cat and my friend's dog doesn't like cats. He chases them and no-one is quite sure what he'd do if he actually caught one.

I tell friend the dilemma but instead of relieving me of the responsibility she commiserated with the problem but left it as my problem not hers. There are limited places the poor fellow can go and we'll be away for 2 nights so it's not like asking someone else to have him for an afternoon. Her FIL is theoretically available but has always stated he won't look after the dog so hasn't been asked.

So the only thing we can think of is for my brother's cat to stay with my parents for the weekend.

My AIBU question is whether she should have at least made an effort to sort something out rather than left it entirely up to me and my family to work around?

[WasabiNell]

No she shouldn't have left it up to you!! I don't think you should inconvenience your brother and make him ship his cat off to your parents. Just tell her this and say she'll have to pay for the dog to go into kennels or to a dog sitter whilst she's away. Does she pay you for looking after him? Sounds like she's majorly taking the piss to me!

[SingingSamosa]

If it's her dog and you are no longer available to look after the dog because of other plans then she needs to find somewhere else for it to go. It is not YOUR responsibility to make arrangements for HER pet. Just tell her you can't look after him any more, end of story. He'll have to go into kennels for a few days if she can't find anyone else to have him, but that's her problem, not yours. What would she have done if you'd had an accident/illness/had to go to hospital/look after ill relative etc? She'd have to make alternative arrangements then, not you.

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

I do agree with the kennels thing in theory but he has stomach issues and nearly died in the past when in kennels, so understandably she's not keen for him to go into them again.

Like I say, he's absolutely lovely so I don't want him penalised and made ill when it's not his fault at all.

PS No, she's not paying me but she will look after mine in return when we go away in the summer. So I don't really want a falling out as it'll then cost me £300 in kennel fees!!

[WannaBe]

Did you know that the dog doesn't like cats or was this something she's only just told you? If you knew then tbh I would just have said at the point you realised the weekends clashed "I'm really sorry, it's db's birthday that weekend and given he has a cat I think it would be best if I didn't take the dog." It's next year after all so she will have time to find someone else....

Have had similar recently, have agreed to look after friend's dog next weekend. Dog is young, well behaved but is obsessed with small fast-moving furry things.... Like cats.... since offering to look after him I have in fact acquired a cat. However, I will keep the two apart, and am fairly confident in my cat's ability to stand up for herself should the need arise, but I won't tempt fate. .

[WasabiNell]

If she's returning the favour I can see why you'd want to look after it then. What breed of dog is it? All my dogs have chased cats if they run but not actually done anything when faced with one! It is still annoying she didn't offer a solution to the problem and made it your problem though.

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

Sorry, didn't make it clear - I didn't know when I agreed that the dates clashed. And it was last year that we discussed it: the birthday is next month!!