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AIBU?

wwyd r.e potential new job and TTC

31 replies

happybus28 · 27/04/2016 07:32

would appreciate a little perspective/advice with my dilemma!!

me and DH made the decision to start TTC originally back in Nov when we got back off honeymoon. after looking at finances/debt and what mat leave i would get (stat) we realised it would be too much of a struggle financially at that point so we decided to wait 6 months and get some debt paid off first. i struggled with that decision as wanted to start a family so desperately but i knew it was the right thing to do.

fast forward to march and i saw a job advertised at a organisation i have always been interested in and have always wanted to work for. i wasn't actively looking for jobs but i saw this job advertised on social media and thought it sounded perfect for me. i got a bit giddy and applied. 6 weeks later i now have a interview tomorrow and i am really in 2 minds about what to do....

if i get offered the job and decide to accept it then we are looking at delaying TTC until next year and as much as i would love the opportunity to work there I'm really not sure i can wait that long to start a family. my maternal instinct is as strong as ever and just getting stronger! That is really the only downside about accepting the job, its more money, free parking, better hours, no working weekends, better holidays, better pension, better mat leave/sick leave, better prospects for the future.

I know i haven't been offered it yet & DH thinks i should go for the interview and make a decision if i get offered it but i can't help but feel I'm wasting everyone's time if i can't accept it anyway? am i being silly by putting my desire to start a family before the opportunity of a better job/potential start of a career? WWYD?!?

OP posts:

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toohardtothinkofaname · 27/04/2016 07:35

You can get mat pay once you've worked at the org for a certain amount of time (is it 6m min once you're 26 weeks?). I'd say all of your 'better' points clinch it PLUS it took us 8m to fall pregnant so I'd nail that interview & see what happens after good luck

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/04/2016 07:35

How old are you?

Greyponcho · 27/04/2016 07:36

Shamelessly place marking as I asked this quite recently and only got two responses.
Would like to see what people's opinions are

FlipperSkipper · 27/04/2016 07:40

How old are you, and do you have any reason to think you might have problems ttc?

happybus28 · 27/04/2016 07:43

I am 29 and DH is 31

OP posts:

Heatherbell1978 · 27/04/2016 07:43

I posted something similar a few months back and took the job! I'm 38 and already have DS1 but looking to start TTC for number 2. Time isn't really on my side though so would echo previous questions about how old you are because unless your biological clock is rapidly ticking you may have time to get settled into new job and then wait for occupational maternity pay? I say take the job anyway!!

happybus28 · 27/04/2016 07:44

no we don't have any reason to think we would have problems TTC.

OP posts:

Heatherbell1978 · 27/04/2016 07:45

I see you just did. 29 is very young... I had my first at 37. I know you're keen to start trying but this sounds like a great opportunity for you.

Heatherbell1978 · 27/04/2016 07:45

I see you just did. 29 is very young... I had my first at 37. I know you're keen to start trying but this sounds like a great opportunity for you.

cuntinghomicidalcardigan · 27/04/2016 07:46

I got my permanent contract (in a company I had been temping in for 2.5 years so didn't feel too bad) on the 1st of October and got pregnant around the 25th and got full maternity benefits so it's worth looking at exactly what the policies are. I agree with pp - nail the interview then take it from there. Good luck!

dakin1 · 27/04/2016 07:49

How old are you OP? I am in a similar situation, really want to try for DC2 but finances mean I need to work. Recently moved city so need to get a brand new job.

We have decided to wait until I've been in the new job a year before trying. Personally I would feel uncomfortable getting pregnant sooner than that. If you have a bad pregnancy (morning sickness etc) it would be good to be established in a company so you have more chance of negotiating working from home etc.

If you have time on your side I would try and be patient and wait another year. Maternity leave will be so much less stressful if you have maternity pay, savings and a good job to go back to. If you are late 30s / 40s ignore previous advice and get going!

FlipperSkipper · 27/04/2016 07:52

I think I'd wait and give it 6 months in the new job if you were to get it. (This isn't what I did, but I'm 37 and can only conceive through IVF).

bornwithaplasticspoon · 27/04/2016 07:54

I absolutely get your need to start a family but if you get the job I think you should give it at least six months before ttc, so you can fully settle in.

Being pregnant for the first time is very exciting. It would be even better if your work life was running smoothly alongside.

Best of luck with your interview.

Lules · 27/04/2016 07:54

Even if you aren't entitled to SMP because you hadnt been there long enough if you got pregnant very quickly you would probably be entitled to maternity allowance which is similar money. Details here: www.gov.uk/maternity-allowance/what-youll-get

happybus28 · 27/04/2016 07:58

I know I am relatively young in the grand scheme of things and that people leave it later now to have children but that isnt my issue. I don't want to be a older parent and always intended to have started our family by now. I just can't seem to get my head around waiting so long.

OP posts:

FlipperSkipper · 27/04/2016 08:32

I get that, and I don't think people should leave it too late (I started ttc when I was 32) but I don't think 6 months to get settled in to a new job is a massive wait. I had to tell my manager I was pregnant two weeks after starting my new job (lab based, so some things I couldn't do, so had to tell early) and while she was very supportive it was very awkward.

Ladycrazycat · 27/04/2016 08:40

I would go for the job and if you get it, delay trying for six months or so. It may then take you a bit of time anyway. I would also with the additional money (and with debt under control) arrange to do some things that you would love to do! So for example have you ever wanted to visit somewhere that will be easier now than with a child? I'd be looking to do that over the next year. For me it would just make it a little more bearable that I would ideally be trying for a child now but am waiting a while.

Good luck with the interview.

Brummiegirl15 · 27/04/2016 08:48

Never ever put your life on hold for TTC. You have no idea how long it will take and you shouldn't assume you might not have a problem.

I had 3 miscarriages for no reason whatsoever. I have my daughter now, but it was a hard slog.

Go for the job, it sounds like a wonderful opportunity and you can TTC alongside it and if you do fall pregnant quickly then you've got a great job and a baby on the way. Win win.

Don't not go for the job because you want to TTC,

Tellmeagain · 27/04/2016 09:41

I would go for the interview and take the job - I got pregnant at 31 after 4 months of trying so it may not be immediate and the all the benefits you listed of the potential new role sound brilliant and would be very welcome once any baby you have is here.

nephrofox · 27/04/2016 09:47

Go for the job!!! It sounds like it would only be beneficial for your family, with or without future children.

If you get pregnant after starting there you will still get smp

DailyFailAreABunchOfCunts · 27/04/2016 09:50

Go for the job and if you get it then take it. Hang fire on TTC for the first 6 months (most jobs have a probationary period of around this, so get through that). If the job feels like a good fit and you're happy then start TTC at that point. It's only a delay of 6 months and this sounds like a very good opportunity. It also means that if you do conceive very quickly, then you'll have been there for over a year before you go on mat leave, which means that you have had a good amount of time to get established, learn the job and get to know people.

I have a friend who is doing exactly this. She has just changed jobs and is waiting for her 6 month probationary period to finish before she starts TTC.

Fourarmsv2 · 27/04/2016 09:54

I got pg in the same week I started my new job. Was tight for maternity pay but I just qualified. We'd been trying for 9m so I was starting to get a bit panicky! Go for it :)

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BlueMoonRising · 27/04/2016 09:55

AFAIAA maternity laws changed so that as long as you are in the job when you get pregnant you get maternity pay - although I would leave it a few weeks just to make sure the date isn't borderline.

Take the job if it is offered to you.

If you get pregnant after being there a month, they will still get a good few months work before you go off and you get to go back to a job you want to do. If you don't go for it, who knows when another suitable post will arise. And you don't know how long it will take to get pregnant.

EponasWildDaughter · 27/04/2016 09:57

am i being silly by putting my desire to start a family before the opportunity of a better job/potential start of a career?

Are you planning to give up work and stay at home with the baby once your mat leave is over? Is that what you meant by wasting everyone's time? I can kind of see that.

But if you're planning to do normal mat leave and then go back to the job i don't really understand the problem.

Osirus · 27/04/2016 10:01

It took us years to get pregnant (finally now am after IVF -I'm 33). Go for the job, and TTC. It can take longer then you think. We had no reason to suspect problems either.

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