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AIBU?

To call police on neighbours

155 replies

mrgrouper · 23/04/2016 10:03

I have deliberately posted here to get the most blunt and candid responses. I could have posted on NM and had "there, there, poor you" responses, but I want people to be frank and am aware AIBU posters "tells it like it is".
We all moved into new build properties at the end of last year. Until 4 weeks ago had never spoken to these neighbours (have spoken to everyone else on the street, but these people keep themselves to themselves and I have no issue with that).
Anyway it all kicked off 4 weeks ago. My son aged 4 was on his bike and he went on what I mistakenly thought was a communal path. The lady of the house came flying out effing and blinding and threatening me with the police. I told her she was welcome to call the police, but as there was no crime committed it is time wasting. She then approached my son's bike and rammed him backwards with him on it, which scared him.
I fully admit calling her a moron at this stage, but when she put her hands on my son's bike I saw red.
I reported the antisocial behaviour to the HA on the Monday. They were told not to contact me after that and they asked me not to contact her, which I was happy to comply with.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and with hindsight I should not have reported it, because this has caused the behaviour to escalate. They have reacted by sending neighbours derogatory and unwarranted messages about me, and encouraging them to report me to get me evicted. My neighbours kept screen shots of this BS. My car has been keyed and a load of what I think is lime has been thrown over the dividing wall between our gardens, killing my grass. The man of the house has shouted abusive comments to my son who is only 4 and nasty notes have been put through my letter box.
I am getting CCTV put up next week so if there is any more vandalism of my property I have proof.
Can anyone advise me how to handle this? Citizen's advice recommend I report all of this crap to the police, however this may cause things to escalate further.
All I want is a quiet life.

OP posts:

Report

OurBlanche · 23/04/2016 10:06

Report, report, report.

They are actively trying to get you evicted? Damaging your property? Harrassing you? And you don't want to escalate things???

You won't be. Your other neighbours would probably much rather be stuck with you than them... so report everything, loudly! And get onto the HA repeatedly... they too have responsibility here.

Good luck.

Ifailed · 23/04/2016 10:07

call the police, they have form and be 'known' to them, you owe it your your 4 year old DS.

Ifailed · 23/04/2016 10:08

may have form.

mrgrouper · 23/04/2016 10:09

I am classified as a vulnerable adult (autistic spectrum disorder) and so this is stressing me out big style. I am a single mum living with a 4 year old boy. Think they may be targeting me as I can appear vulnerable.

OP posts:

NeedACleverNN · 23/04/2016 10:10

Definitely report

MushroomMama · 23/04/2016 10:14

Call the police they've committed criminal damage and harassment. They need to be made well aware that they won't get away with it

for you it'll be ok but take action now

VioletTea · 23/04/2016 10:15

Sorry you're having to deal with this.

I can only echo the pps. REPORT EVERYTHING.

Your son is 4. He needs his mum to have his back.
Keep diaries. Put up CCTV. Report every little thing that they are doing to you. Surround yourself with friends family etc who can be moral support and who can also act as witnesses.
Good luck with it all

ghostyslovesheep · 23/04/2016 10:17

What have the HA said - surely you have reported this to them and your other neighbours have as well?

Yes I would report it to the police as well

ilovesooty · 23/04/2016 10:19

If you have a disability have you specifically reported her actions as a hate crime?

ilovesooty · 23/04/2016 10:20

Their actions, sorry.

OurBlanche · 23/04/2016 10:20

Good idea, ILS.

smokeybandit · 23/04/2016 10:21

puts housing officer hat on
Keep a nuisance diary of everything - for the HA
call local safer neighbourhood team for everything. That way you have a log for housing and the police calls to back it up. But only call it to safer neighbourhood team to report it when it's something that is nuisance but they wouldn't really do anything about, like shouting at you or throwing stuff over the wall. Anything that endangers you or like keying your car, call 101 or whatever you feels is more appropriate. Then keep your absolute distance from them. Whatever they've done the moment you retaliate you will be in the wrong. It sounds unfair but I've seen it happen in practice.

Raia · 23/04/2016 10:21

You poor things, what a nightmare. Yes, keep a detailed record of everything that happens and report it all to the police and HA. So sorry you're being victimised like this.

LittleMissBossyBoots · 23/04/2016 10:21

Report it to the police and the HA. Ask what they're going to do and follow it up if necessary.

Buckinbronco · 23/04/2016 10:22

You must keep reporting the the HA via their ASB process because they're the ones who will have the most power to change this for you

smokeybandit · 23/04/2016 10:23

Also well done for the CCTV. It's an expense but it's the best thing to do. Unfortunately all the logs and reports in the world may not do much without hard evidence.

mrgrouper · 23/04/2016 10:27

I cannot report hate crime as they are not aware I am disabled. They have probably guessed I present as a bit strange and oddball, but they do not know about the Asperger's. I am very careful who I tell about my ASD as some people use it to bully you. In addition no comments have been made that directly refer to my disability.
The HA have made it clear I need to engage in mediation with them but I do not want to do this as they intimidate me. The HA stated I could have put the lime in my own garden to incriminate them, but if that is the case why would I be spending £££££s on CCTV?

OP posts:

mrgrouper · 23/04/2016 10:30

They are trying to pal up with the neighbours the other side of me and are being her new BFF. Unfortunately for this cow, this other woman used to live near them and the cow once called her 17 year old daughter a "fat slag", so she remembers that and does not want anything to do with the cow.
I have phoned the police now, so an officer will call me back in the next 24 hours.

OP posts:

Daffolill · 23/04/2016 10:33

Definitely report to the police and start keeping a log of all incidents and keep reporting to the ha. CCTV will be a big help for you in this.

smokeybandit · 23/04/2016 10:33

Ok. HA have to offer mediation. It may sound like something you feel unable to do but honestly, if they offer it and you turn it down it will look as though you are uncooperative. Explain your reasons for feeling uncomfortable with it - they may back down from mediation or offer for you to bring a friend along. Mediation can be a great tool and isn't meant to be intimidating, but if they are willing and you are not it will not look good for your case, even if the HA did believe you. If you do mediation and be as pleasant as possible and incidents from them still occur it will help you in any case against them.

GoringBit · 23/04/2016 10:37

Excellent advice from smokey, good luck OP, stay strong and keep coming back for support.

MintyChapstick · 23/04/2016 10:38

You need to report it to the police ASAP. This is harassment.

LittleMissBossyBoots · 23/04/2016 10:40

I know it's hard (I have AS too) but give mediation a go. I was in a similar situation a few years ago with a really nasty neighbour I was terrified of. I went to mediation and to my surprise it did actually get her to change her behaviour, which I never thought would happen in a million years.

Also make sure that your HA and the police know about your AS.

EweAreHere · 23/04/2016 10:43

Report it. Every time. And call the police. And bring an assertive friend with you to the mediation to speak on your behalf if you can.

snowgirl29 · 23/04/2016 10:45

Do you still have the notes OP? That's evidence of them contacting you when being told not to. Tell and show the HA and the police.

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