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AIBU?

DS and swearing

9 replies

HairSlide · 21/04/2016 23:08

I'm pretty sure I'm not being unreasonable here but I don't think I've handled the situation very well at all.

Several months ago, DS(6) was sworn at by an older child and told me about it. He repeated "X called me a fucking dick" in the politest voice I have ever heard him use. I dealt with it at the time and admit I did laugh a bit later, out of DS' earshot, purely because the combination of swearing and the polite accent did sound quite funny. All was forgotten and DS is not guilty of ever repeating swearwords.

Today I relayed the story to another parent and she had a similar story about her DS of the same age so we laughed about it. Later though, our children were playing outside and out of the blue she called my DS over and asked him to repeat what X had said to him. DS couldn't even remember because it was so long ago and I told him to go off and play. A few minutes later she called him back over again, repeated the phrase herself then asked DS to repeat it, which he did before I could stop him. She laughed at him and he ran off again, I decided not to speak to DS at the time because he was playing and I had no intention of giving him into trouble as she was in the wrong but I did let it drop, thinking that was the end of it.
She then went on to call him over again, at which point I said to drop it because I didnt want him thinking it was ok or funny to repeatedly swear. Long story short she told him some other things to say, including saying that I call my brothers girlfriend certain names- words DS hasn't even heard of (and completely untrue, I would never speak like that about someone when DS could hear me). Again, I told DS not to repeat it and to go off and play, then said to her to leave it and that if he repeated it to anyone I'd be sure to tell them to speak to her about it and that enough was enough.
She left and I brought DS over, spoke to him about not saying swear words because it is rude and unkind etc. and that if anybody asked him to repeat bad words he is just to say no, those arent nice words to use. I told him he wasnt in trouble because the other parent ahould never have asked him to say those words.

I was seething with her but I know I should have said more at the time. She is known for being toxic and a liar/ troublemaker and I know she was just trying to make DS look bad and get him into trouble. She had the cheek to shout at her own child for repeating one of the things she said to my son.

I guess I'm wondering how you all might have dealt with it because alyhough I did speak up I dont feel I handled it well.

Im also worried that DS might end up saying something at school and get into trouble when really this isnt his fault. Should I tell the school what happened?

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Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:16

I'd have stabbed her in the throat with the nearest sharp object.

What a rude bitch, tell her next time she inappropriately asks your son to repeat sweaty words you'll shit in her letterbox.

On a serious note, I'd be fuming and make serious efforts to keep away from her and if she ever shouts your kid over again tell him not to come over & quietly mouth to her to stay away from your son.

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Uncoping · 21/04/2016 23:16

Sweary, not sweaty oh my Blush

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OzzieFem · 22/04/2016 05:21

What a revolting woman. Why is she trying to cause problems with your family?

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herecomethepotatoes · 22/04/2016 06:01

She sounds slightly unhinged!

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Believeitornot · 22/04/2016 06:35

Who is this crazy woman?

I wouldn't engage with her at all from now on. Just a polite hello and move away.

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AgentProvocateur · 22/04/2016 06:37

Change your friends.

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SavoyCabbage · 22/04/2016 06:46

That is madness! I wouldn't see her again. There are plenty of people to be friends with who aren't known for being toxic!

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HairSlide · 22/04/2016 07:50

I don't spend alot of time with her usually, but its a very small community so it genuinely is impossible to avoid her altogether.

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HairSlide · 22/04/2016 09:37

Believe she is sort of family, but not immediate. Our children are in the same class at school or we probably wouldn't have that much contact.

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