AIBU to ask how much 1:1 time you spend with your primary school child?

(12 Posts)
Joolsy Tue 19-Apr-16 18:52:50

My DD is 7. I love sitting down with her to play dolls, schools, a game etc. But I've noticed as she's getting older she doesn't seem to want to do that! I often say "let's play something" and usually it's "I'm just watching this video" or "I'm just playing Minecraft". I don't mind her playing on her tablet for an hour or two a day, but she also has a group of friends at school and often one will come round after school or she will go to one of their houses. I'm quite happy for that but I don't like to intrude on what they're doing (they seem to like their privacy!). I'm a bit sad that I don't get to spend much one on one time with her. Is this just par for the course? She has an older sister too and they play together as well.

CaptainCrunch Tue 19-Apr-16 18:57:10

I don't remember ever instigating play with my dc, it was always child led. They're teenagers now and occasionally ask for a game of cards which I'm happy to oblige.

herecomethepotatoes Wed 20-Apr-16 02:53:11

1:1 nearly never. There are a two (maybe 3) hours a day after I get home from work but husband and brother are there too.

herecomethepotatoes Wed 20-Apr-16 02:57:53

And weekends, of course although this still isn't really 1:1; more 2:2.

Our children play well by themselves or each other but still love parents involvement.

FelicityR313 Wed 20-Apr-16 02:59:23

Not since she was a baby. A lot of the time has been just the two of us, driving in the car, arguing at home, bathing her, doing her hair, basically every hour between waking and school and school and bedtime, but none of that was ever one on one time (except it was I suppose!). Oh, apart from reading to her at night (15 mins). That was our special time. I never really got the concept of one on one time since there was mainly just the two of us anyway.
In latter years it has morphed into shopping for clothes (15 minutes she'll tolerate).
Now it's the length of time it takes for me to confirm payment for whatever it is she wants.

MattDillonsPants Wed 20-Apr-16 03:39:49

My girls are 11 and 8 and yes, they do dump you after the little years are over. Your DD is growing up and that's all good. What you might have to do now is instead of hoping for games of dolls etc is make more outings with her...just you two...I take mine for cake and hot chocolate in the cafe. Or we go to the art gallery and they like visiting the gift shop with their pocket money.

Joolsy Wed 20-Apr-16 21:51:32

That's great ideas, MattDillon. Thanks all

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Wed 20-Apr-16 22:03:34

My eldest would still be primary in the UK (she's 10, nearly 11). She likes to help me with stuff (she came home before her younger brothers today to help me clear out and paint a room, her idea). I'd feel weird playing with her though - it's right and natural she wants to play with
other kids. I don't play with my 8 yo either - I'll kick a ball at him (hes a goal kedper and likes to practice for hours grin ) when he asks, but he only asks if none of his mates are available (they are generally far better at football than me and have more patience for hours kicking a ball in the mud). I spend most time with the 5 yo for various reasons..

It's right kids gradually move on the playing with friends not parents, give them roots and wings and all that - they'll seek you out when they need you if you don't cling grin

JemimaMuddledUp Wed 20-Apr-16 22:09:49

DD is 10 and would like to spend more 1:1 time with me than she does! I work FT and have 2 other DC who are in secondary school. I try to earmark time to do things with just DD, eg going swimming together on a Saturday afternoon or going to the library and then a cafe for cake and hot chocolate while we read. We've signed up to do Race for Life together next month. BT there are never enough hours in the day.

JocastaFarquhar Wed 20-Apr-16 23:06:21

Cooking together is another good one.

MattDillonsPants Thu 21-Apr-16 02:34:03

I'm currently finding DD age 11's newly found independence quite hard. Since we moved, she has a few friends within walking distance and they seem to spend all their spare time walking about to one another's homes and having numerous sleepovers.

She's gone for a day and a night at a time regularly and I miss her! She has her mate coming here today for a sleepover so at least I will have some of her!

She never used to be able to go out and about alone before we moved so it's weird!

HesterBlue Fri 22-Apr-16 14:41:56

I've started taking mine (older primary) to a cafe once a week each recently. They seem to really enjoy it! If we're in the house, there's always something else they or me want to be doing so 1:1 doesn't happen at home.

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