To LOL at DP's EXW putting up wedding photos....

(292 Posts)
movingonup2015 Tue 19-Apr-16 09:48:55

I know (well I think anyway) I'm not being unreasonable to think this is slightly weird

DP has been divorced for several years, went to collect DS last week to find the EXW had redecorated and put up framed photos of her and DP's wedding.. not of the guests just of the two of them in loving embraces!

DP asked her why on earth she felt it appropriate to put up their wedding photos when they hadn't been together for years and years and she just replied with she thought it was perfectly normal and that its for DS to look at...

It's not just me - that's really weird right?

molyholy Tue 19-Apr-16 09:52:59

It is a bit odd, but I can see her reasoning. How old is the child? Maybe they have been asking questions. My sister showed my nephew her wedding album, after she split up with her husband, to show that his mum and dad did love each other at one time, when they had him.

Fourormore Tue 19-Apr-16 09:55:23

No that's pretty odd. One thing to have an album for the child to look at if they ask, but photos up on the wall is weird and more likely to be confusing to the child if you ask me.

Chlobee87 Tue 19-Apr-16 09:55:44

Very odd indeed. I can understand wanting to show DS. It's his parents after all, but show him an album and then put it away again. They don't need to be framed and on the wall. Why does she want them up? I wouldn't want my ex's face staring down at me all the time. Good on your DP though for pulling her up on it.

Fratelli Tue 19-Apr-16 09:56:18

It's her house. Maybe ds likes to have them up. He may find it reassuring. Not really sure what it has to do with you confused

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 19-Apr-16 09:58:23

I've kept all my wedding pictures for my dc to look at, it's nice for them to see that we were once happy.

It's her house so it's not really for your dp to question or for you to 'lol' at really.

whatevva Tue 19-Apr-16 09:58:24

Surely it is up to her what she puts in her own home - she doesn't need 'pulling up' on it.

DownstairsMixUp Tue 19-Apr-16 09:58:37

That's odd. I have kept some old wedding photos from my first marriage but I'd never put them up! confused I expect my ex husband wouldn't put them up either now he has a girlfriend!

Helmetbymidnight Tue 19-Apr-16 09:58:40

It's weird.

And everyone who sees them will think she's crazy, sad lady.

KinkyAfro Tue 19-Apr-16 09:58:48

Maybe it's to do with OP as she's with him now and her DP has obviously told her. Agree with others, have an album to show her DC but pictures on wall is weird

Figgygal Tue 19-Apr-16 09:59:27

Nope weird if it's for the child then an album will suffice plastering all over your house why would she want to look at them every day.

TwilightRabbit Tue 19-Apr-16 09:59:47

I hate my ex beyond compare, but I still have a (small) picture of us at our wedding on the wall. I have it there for the DSs tbh (I can't stand his smug face, so it's in the hall where I can't see it all the time) - I think they need to know that we were happy once, and that when they were little, they were in a happy family, even if it isn't now. He is part of the family, whether I like it or not.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Tue 19-Apr-16 10:00:09

Dunno
I still have 2 framed wedding photos on display. I don't know why I should take them down, I don't hate my ex or regret my wedding.

Lweji Tue 19-Apr-16 10:00:34

I don't have any photos of my wedding with exH, but the other day DS asked why I didn't have any photos.
I think he'd like them.

So, yes, weird, but maybe the child did want them.

movingonup2015 Tue 19-Apr-16 10:01:52

oh I can totally get showing DS a wedding album - DP often shows DS his wedding album just because half the guests that were there have now passed on so he likes to look back and remember and will look at it with DS and explain who each guest was and how they are related - no issues with that, totally normal.

But why after all this time? DS is actually getting quite confused because he knows his mum and dad aren't together anymore and his dad has me as a girlfriend and is totally fine with the situation but got completely confused when he saw all these wedding photos - he too doesn't understand why his mum wants to put photos of them together all over the house! DS sadly told his dad he thinks his mum is a "weirdo" for doing it! Not healthy for him to speak like that about his mum even if it is slightly true...

Obviously DS doesn't indulge him and says you shouldn't say things like that about your mum etc what she does is her business but he too cant help thinking she's gone one step too far this time...

There are various other things she does that leads me to believe she just really has never got over them splitting up but this is just bizarre....

Anyway - not my business what she does, she can do what she likes in her own home but I just cant help thinking how unhealthy the whole thing is!

Abecedario Tue 19-Apr-16 10:04:53

It's odd, particularly if it's more than one. I can understand letting the son see/ have the pictures but I'm not sure they need to be up on display.

If it's because she's missing her marriage and finding it hard to move on then I'd probably be sad for her rather than laughing at her.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 19-Apr-16 10:05:06

not my business what she does, she can do what she likes in her own home

About sums it up

YoGatoradeMeBitch Tue 19-Apr-16 10:07:47

Perhaps she isn't over the divorce. All sort of strange emotions bounce around years after the event. It doesn't necessarily mean she pines for him, it might just be a reminder of a happy time in bother her and the DC's lives. They must have been a happy family once...

It's both odd and sweet depending on the perspective.

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 19-Apr-16 10:10:43

DS sadly told his dad he thinks his mum is a "weirdo" for doing it!

hmm

Perhaps you should be focussing on this, or getting your boyfriend to.

KurriKurri Tue 19-Apr-16 10:11:52

What your DP's XW has in her own house is so far from being your business it's practically my business.

MeredithFrampton Tue 19-Apr-16 10:12:27

DS sadly told his dad he thinks his mum is a "weirdo" for doing it! Not healthy for him to speak like that about his mum even if it is slightly true...

What a nasty, gloating, sneering tone you use when you write about her.

I feel very sorry for your partner's child. (Not your 'DS', by the way.)

SaucyJack Tue 19-Apr-16 10:16:20

Maybe she isn't over them splitting up.

She isn't the first, and she won't be the last.

It's sad for her if that's the case.

KurriKurri Tue 19-Apr-16 10:18:15

The child is young enough to get 'confused' but old enough to use words like 'weirdo' to describe his mother? hmm

How much of your DP's DS's visiting time is spent discussing his mother? Don't probe, don't ask him about his mum if you don't want him confused - children are very astute at picking up what they think a parent wants to hear in these situations and answering accordingly.

WorraLiberty Tue 19-Apr-16 10:20:48

How old is the DS?

EDisFunny Tue 19-Apr-16 10:21:20

YABU - though I find displaying the pictures a bit odd and sad your tone is mean and sneering. You seem to be making yourself feel good by laughing at her.

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