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AIBU?

Anger AIBU

13 replies

kylorobes · 18/04/2016 17:39

DH arrives home from work. DS was due to leave for swimming but was dawdling (SN) DH started shouting at him and he said "shut up" so DH picked up one of his trainers and slammed it to the floor. DS was then scared and angry. AIBU to think this is not acceptable? DS then copied shoe throwing and hit me. I spend all my time teaching correct behaviour and this was a terrible example to set

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MintyBojingles · 18/04/2016 17:41

YANBU your husband needs to control his temper, not that it sounds like that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.

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hesterton · 18/04/2016 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 18/04/2016 18:57

Who's the child. Your DS or your DH. Throwing things around like a 2 year old.

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Yeahsure · 18/04/2016 19:00

I don't think slamming a trainer on the floor in a moment of anger or frustration is the end of the world. We've all raised our voices, slammed things down or snatched things (not pushed or hit or yelled) haven't we? Or does he do this a lot?

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pictish · 18/04/2016 19:02

Haven't we all slammed a shoe/newspaper/toy/whatever in frustration and annoyance at some point?

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pictish · 18/04/2016 19:04

My dh threw a shoe once and it went through the cheap shit cupboard door and left a perfect shoe shape. He didn't even throw it that hard.

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BusyCee · 18/04/2016 19:04

Might be unpopular but I think getting angry isn't a problem (as long as it's not violent bullying). Anger is part of human experience (don't we all get angry from time to time?) and its useful to show your children how to handle it, as you would with any other experience. So a moment of anger is neither here nor there - but showing them how to recognise it and apologise for it can be helpful. Otherwise how do they learn to deal with their own anger?

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PPie10 · 18/04/2016 19:07

Are you perfect op? Everyone loses it now and then. Maybe he just finally had it with your ds. He should apologise though when he is calmer.

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LovelyFriend · 18/04/2016 19:10

Are you angry with him about anything else?

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Janecc · 18/04/2016 19:36

busycee totally agree. DH also needs to learn at the same time.

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kylorobes · 18/04/2016 21:10

Ds has adhd and struggles with his emotional regulation and outbursts. I need adults around him to show self control

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Janecc · 18/04/2016 21:53

What I was meaning in my response is that we as humans often don't allow our children to show all the range of emotions, especially anger. Because we weren't allowed to express our anger, we haven't learnt how to manage our anger and have outbursts in adulthood. Yes, in an ideal world adults wouldn't get angry in front of your Ds or anyone else's children. Throwing the shoe was a really silly move on your husbands part and we all do things we shouldn't. ADHD has a genetic component, does your DH have any of the traits?
Now that you've said about Adhd I get why you were so frustrated because it could have led to an outburst. All I was meaninf is that I was a very angry adult because I wasn't allowed to express my emotions as a child at all.