To just ban sleepovers from now on?

[MattDillonsPants]

I always feel pressured to let the DC have them. We don't have them often but since moving to Oz, it's been one long bastard round of looking after other people's kids.

I can't even accuse them of not reciprocating...they always seem to be happy and relaxed about them...other parents I mean. When their kids ask "PLEEAASE can Min iMattDillon'sPants stay tonight??" They always almost say yes.

So there is a bit of pressure in my book.

Well tonight...it is almost midnight here...my 8 year old has a friend staying and I have been in about 5 times since 11.00pm to say "keep the noise down...please whisper"

Because DH is asleep and I'm meant to be working! I'm self employed and sometimes have a late night...now it's the school hols even more so!

So...my complaint is this. Having been in to them, explained WHY they need to whisper and not get out of bed anymore...they KEEP DOING IT ANYWAY!

It's mainly the friend. I can hear her shrill voice all the time. I've also told her Mother that I would be getting them to sleep early-ish...and not letting them mess about too much.

I've just come close to getting a bit cross...which I don't like doing on sleepovers...I didn't shout but spoke firmly.

AIBU to just say no more of them ever?

[Chasingsquirrels]

If you are serious about it don't tell them to whisper, tell them to go to sleep. Final warning. After that separate rooms

[MattDillonsPants]

Yes that' a good one...there is a spare room as DD1 is on a sleepover of her own...bloody kids! All obsessed with sleeping in one another's homes!

I can't think why! The child with us tonight is the neighbour's child...she only lives 4 doors up the street!

I could always shove her home and wake that lot up! I bet they're all snoring away happily while I look after their lovely, but shrill child.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I've just come close to getting a bit cross...which I don't like doing on sleepovers...I didn't shout but spoke firmly. I'm going to sound like an old curmudgeon but you got so 'a bit cross' that you 'spoke firmly'? Spoke firmly? Try speaking firmly the first time.

[MattDillonsPants]

I think I am a pushover MrsP. I am always afraid of upsetting other people's kids...I was such a scaredy cat as a child...I imagine them being nervous or scared to ask for what they want if I get too strict.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Maybe that's it. I was probably the shrill girl as a child.

[VestalVirgin]

Maybe not "ban" sleepovers forever, but only allow them at times where you feel you can risk the noise. Like, I don't know, on weekends or such.

[dowhatnow]

I told mine that if they don't stop talking before midnight then there wouldn't be any more for wuite a while but if they cause no problems then I'm always happy for them to have one. I only had to refuse one and say remember I said no if you didn't settle down. The next time they complied as they knew I was serious.

[monkeysox]

If it's a neighbour I'd take her home!

[MattDillonsPants]

Monkey I couldn't do that...I'd feel bad waking the family up. They went to sleep at about 1.30am which is far too late for two 8 year olds.

I'm very cross. DD has bags under her eyes. It was mainly the visitor I could hear. She's a full on kid...very energetic and never shuts up. I think that we won't have her again.

I'm not really fussy but we had to go into them too often for my liking. DH finally went in and spoke a bit more sternly, telling them that this was it...and there would be no more sleepovers because they'd had their chance.

I'm so irritated!

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Don't be afraid to be 'bad cop' yourself, in your own home- children will respect you more for it in the end. I'd be annoyed that they took dh's threat first time, after ignoring your warnings, and maybe try to model my warnings with the effective tone of voice dh used, even if it took the children back for a few seconds, it's results you want rather than no hurt feelings ever.

[AcrossthePond55]

My sons had frequent sleepovers. I never really minded and there was only one time when they got on my last nerve and were separated. The rules were;

1 Never, ever on school or work (for the grownups) nights or night when we had to be somewhere/do something the next day.
2 Midnight was 'quiet hour'. I didn't care if they were still up, they just had to keep it down or they would be separated
3 Clean up after themselves

We were lucky as far as the floor plan of our homes during the 'sleepover days'. They could be isolated away from the bedrooms but I could still keep an eye on things from the living room. I never really worried about when or if they got to sleep once they were about age 10 as long as they were quiet. Prior to that I was a bit stricter about them doing quiet activities like watching videos or listening to story tapes as they'd usually drift off.

I guess I was just lucky.

[MattDillonsPants]

Pond our house has a weird layout and being Aussie, there are no bloody internal doors apart from on the bedrooms and bathrooms. The sitting room has a massive arch so we can hear them clearly as their noise travels up the passageway.

I went to collect my older DD from HER sleepover and was immediately assailed by requests for her mate to come over tonight.....said no but she can come tomorrow night.

:/

[Crazypetlady]

I have lovely memories of sleepovers my mum never had a problem. I wouldnt ban them just be firmer

[AcrossthePond55]

No doors other than bath/bedrooms here either. DH worked nights when the children were younger so we chose our houses with an eye to quiet bedrooms.

It's rough, but it'll pass. My two are 27 and 32 now and I wouldn't mind a noisy sleepover now and again. We only get one at Christmas these days.

[gandalf456]

I hate them, too. I know that it's a sleepover and they're going to stay up and there's going to be some noise but I like children out of my hair by 9. I am no fun, am I?