To ask if you've had a 5/6yo bed wetter

(38 Posts)
LittleLionMansMummy Mon 18-Apr-16 14:22:31

Ds is 5, has been reliably day dry since before 3. He suffers from night terrors and we know sleeps very deeply. Every single morning without fail his night time nappy is sopping wet. We've tried lifting him and restricting drinks in the hour before bedtime, it has no effect at all. When he was 4.5 he started to say he wanted to try without his nappy so we let him. He woke up sopping wet in the morning but hadn't woken at night when he did it. After the second night of this he said he wanted to go back into nappies.

Over the weekend just gone we initiated it again and asked if he'd like to try again, he did, so we let him. The same thing has happened and he doesn't want to try again tonight. There is absolutely no pressure from us, but as he is showing no obvious signs of readiness we've wanted to see if he needed additional encouragement. I don't care about pressure from family members and have no problem explaining that his body just doesn't seem capable yet. But ds has started to ask about sleepovers and I'd hate for this to end up making him anxious. We've sort of resolved to let him stay in his nappies for now and periodically suggest trying again, but if it doesn't happen naturally with a little encouragement we'll seek help at the point it begins to worry him - at the moment he's not unduly anxious about it and we don't want to make an issue of it. He's otherwise healthy, happy, confident etc.

AIBU taking this approach? Does anyone have any advice or experience to share please? I know it's considered relatively normal up until 5, but not sure when it becomes a 'problem' (other than the sleepover issue of course).

caledonianclown Mon 18-Apr-16 14:34:32

My DSS is only just out of night time nappies at 7. He just wasn't ready before then. We've tried periodically before now but like your DS he's a very deep sleeper and wouldn't wake up or even notice he had wet the bed until we told him. We tried restricting drinks, lifting, everything, but o think he just wasn't physically ready. We waited until he said he wanted to try again and he's cracked it now. I would try to relax about it, lots of boys I know have still been in nappies at night long after they are dry in the day. Could he have a pull up for sleepovers that he can manage to put on and take off himself?

pottymummy Mon 18-Apr-16 14:40:56

I have both a 6 yo and a 9yo bed wetter. The 9 yo attends an enuresis clinic. He also takes hormones but if he doesn't stick rigidly to his routine he will still wet the bed. His body just isn't ready. (The routine is basically wee on wakeup, breakfast drink and toilet visit, mid-morning drink and toilet visit, lunchtime drink and toilet visit, afternoon drink and toilet visit, and dinner time drink. He has to attempt two wees at bedtime and no drinks after 6.30pm. He is also only supposed to drink milk or water) Its quite difficult policing it, but it works if he remembers...

madwomanbackintheattic Mon 18-Apr-16 14:42:11

It's considered entirely normal up until 7. As a cub leader we always had a couple of bedwetters right up until this age. Most gps won't even bother discussing bed wetting until 7 as it is a hormonal issue and cannot be 'trained'. After that they will discuss management (either synthetic hormone or trying enuresis alarms if they believe the issue is caused by deep sleep rather than non-production of the hormone). Or both, obvs.

Either way, you have a couple of years left before you need to move ahead with any management.

Out of my three, one was dry day and night at 2, one was dry day and night at 7, and one is still not entirely reliable at 14. The only one that registers even the flicker of interest in the medical profession is the 14yo...

scarednoob Mon 18-Apr-16 14:42:17

My brother was about 5 or 6. He was just a sleeping through the urge - nothing wrong with him except that he ended up an accountant wink! My parents got a buzzy blanket that woke him by buzzing when he did a wee and that fixed it in about a week - would that help, do you think?

lljkk Mon 18-Apr-16 14:42:43

Around here they don't sleepover until 8yo so we dodged that one.
DC2 finally clicked at almost 6yo.
DC1 & DC4 were both dry at night before 3yo.

DC3 wasn't night-dry until over 7yo & trying his hardest, he just couldn't do it. Also a deep sleeper, but daytime dry from 25 months. I never wanted to try night alarms or medication but some people swear by those things... apparently can't get them until at least 7yo, anyway. It's fine to chill out & just them be as they are, I reckon.

HereIAm20 Mon 18-Apr-16 14:44:29

I feel for you. My son was referred to the enuresis clinic at the age of 8 and was eventually dry at 13! We still have the occasional accident at 14 1/2.

It was a long old haul. When we got to sleepovers I used to just bite the bullet and tell parents and you would be amazed at how many people had had similar experiences. Friends of my son or their siblings going through the same thing. One of the things we did at home if he was older was to have a glass of water by the bed so he could pretend to friends he had spilt his water.

If it persists when he is older there are a number of things they can do (including medication) but I am afraid you will probably have to tough it out until he is 7 but ask the health visitor or doctor.

One of the first things to do is make sure he is drinking plenty of water before lunch time and water in the afternoon too. If he goes to bed with his urine too strong the bladder will expel it.

Also avoid squashes, fruit juices and fizzy. DS has a fizzy every now and then now he is older (birthdays etc) but we know more often than not it still leads to an issue.

The other thing we were told to do is involve the child in stripping the bed and putting in the washing machine (which works if its a morning discovery but less so if in the middle of the night.

I can also say The White Company waterproof sheets although pricey are the best we have used throughout the years. PM if you want to.

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 18-Apr-16 14:44:38

Thanks caledonian. Yes sorry I meant he's in pull ups rather than the traditional nappies, but he still knows they're essentially nappies (we call them his night time pants) and I'd guess his sleepover friends would know that they're not proper pants and say something. His older cousin has already mentioned it (he's 7) but dsis helpfully explained that dnephew (the same one) is only just out of night nappies himself so to stop drawing attention to it! We've just told ds not to worry and that it just means his body isn't quite ready. He did ask if that meant he was still a baby and we've reassured him that lots of other 'big' boys are similar.

madwomanbackintheattic Mon 18-Apr-16 14:44:49

<I should add - there is really no need to fret about the sleepovers thing - the cubs we had managed their pull-ups fine on their own - just bag and bin - you just need to talk him through how to manage it in the morning, and to make sure he goes to pee last thing at night and remembers to put it on>

SauvignonPlonker Mon 18-Apr-16 14:46:39

DS is 7yr4m & still in night nappies; he's never been dry at night. We've tried periodically without a nappy & he sleeps through it, waking up to a dry bed. Have seen the GP & awaiting referral to eneuresis clinic - the waiting list is 43 weeks. confused

teatowel Mon 18-Apr-16 15:07:35

My son was 8 before he was dry at night. We were just starting to get help( because the invites to sleepovers were starting) when his body decided it was ready. Several of his friends were a similar age before they were dry at night

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 18-Apr-16 16:05:51

Thank you so much everyone. While I'm sorry you've all been through similar, it does give me some reassurance that we're not being lazy parents by letting nature take its course and that there is hope! The fact that there's a 43 week wait for the enuresis clinic, although awful, does seem to suggest he's not alone. At the moment the only sleepovers he has are at his cousins houses, but if he has any other invitations we'll talk to him about putting his night time pants on/ off and disposal etc. I might speak to the parents quietly too.

SnobblyBobbly Mon 18-Apr-16 16:17:42

DS is 5.5 and still wets at night. I've just switched off to it for the time being, especially since reading that until he's 7 it's not deemed a medical problem, so now wearing his night time nappy (which is a pull up) is just the norm.

I know what you mean about cousins and sleepovers though, although when DS's cousin last made fun of his nappy he said 'Well do you want to sleep in my wee? (Cousin of course screamed no!) Shush then.' grin

SoakedinBleach Mon 18-Apr-16 16:20:05

Yes, never dry at night. We got rid of nappies at 4 and just changed sheets. randomly became dry at 9.5! Had a couple of accidents since but we nothing had changed to cause the bed wetting to stop so must have been hormones. The paediatrician we saw at 8 (within 2months of referral) gave us tablets and an alarm but ds refused to use them and we didn't push it. We tried everything else with no success. I really think it is just a case of waiting for th hormone to kick in.

RumbleMum Mon 18-Apr-16 16:24:30

DS1 is 6 in a few weeks and has never been dry overnight. The school nurse said not to worry about it for a year or two so we haven't. smile

TychosNose Mon 18-Apr-16 16:35:59

We're doing the same as you, op
Dd is 6 in July and has never been dry at night. She tries without a nappy every so often, her idea, but has never managed.
I'm trying not to worry but she's starting to feel self conscious about it after some comments from other children and parents about it being "babyish"

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer Mon 18-Apr-16 16:51:02

Just for reassurance, the night time nappies I've seen in the supermarket are for up to age 12. That just shows you how common it is.

Almostfifty Mon 18-Apr-16 17:39:09

One of mine was eight. He was a deep sleeper. I didn't try anything, just left him till he was dry, which came about when he was good and ready.

Flashbangandgone Mon 18-Apr-16 17:45:29

My 5yo isn't dry at night despite being quite advanced for her age in other respects.... Good to know I'm not alone.

throckenholt Mon 18-Apr-16 18:23:21

One of mine was about 6.5-7 before he was reliably dry (his id twin was about 4 I guess). At the time it caused him stress - but has had no problems since. Dry during the day from about 3.

I think it is much more common than you think. I would try and be patient and not make an issue of it for another year or so.

DerelictMyBalls Mon 18-Apr-16 18:26:32

DS is 6 and wears pull-ups every night. I'm not worried about it just yet. He'll get there.

frazmum Mon 18-Apr-16 21:51:43

Don't worry about it. They get dry when they're ready. Enuresis clinic gave advice to first make sure he's drinking lots of water which hereiam also said.

Hairyfairy01 Mon 18-Apr-16 23:10:41

Ds was 8 when he became dry at night, referred to the clinic at 7. Take a look at the ERIC website. Other parents, cub leaders etc have been understanding in my experience, most have some experience of it, if not there own kids then someone in the family. Ds got quite good at putting on / taking off his night time nappy in his sleeping bag. I wouldn't worry yet.

Sapph1r3 Mon 18-Apr-16 23:16:43

Neither of my girls were dry at night until 7ish. Just incredibly heavy sleepers! Just use the night time pull ups until he's ready to be dry smile Don't stress smile

Cutecat78 Mon 18-Apr-16 23:18:37

DSD is 11 and a half and still bedwets - she had been on medication for a yr at least.

We requested a specialist appt but her mum missed it hmm

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