To worry about my child not having friends

(3 Posts)
Imaginosity Sun 17-Apr-16 23:20:12

DS is 7 - he doesn't always have the best social skills. For various reasons it's not easy for me to organise to bring home children from his class after school - I work full time etc. He never gets invited home to other children's houses.

It seems all the parents who are at the school everyday know each other well and arrange meet ups for their children. I feel like I am letting my DS down.

He has aspergers too - which adds to my guilt. He loves having friends but doesn't connect as easily as the others do with each other.

He does play out on our street with a group of boys his age. If I thought this was enough I might not feel so anxious about him. I remember most of my childhood was spent playing with the children in my neighbourhood rather than bringing school friends home.

I'm worried he'll end up isolated from the children in school. Another part of me thinks what will be will be - children eventually will pick their own friends regardless of what play dates they went on in the early stages.

saoirse31 Mon 18-Apr-16 02:34:26

I think its great he has local friends, way more important. Is he happy? If yes, then you've no problem. If not, is it down to friends or lack if them in school? Maybe if so, take half day a month and invite kids over.

MattDillonsPants Mon 18-Apr-16 02:41:18

You're right about the children picking their own friends. The playdates stop when they get to year 5 or 6 in my experience and kids arrange things themselves.

It probably looks more sociable than it really is to your eyes OP....you might notice one set of parents arranging a playdate and think they're all at it but I promise you they're not.

I think a good step for you to take would be to make an appointment with his teacher to talk about social skills and what can be done to help him.

How able is he socially? Does he have friends in school at all? Does he join in at playtime?

If he does, then try to organise something...ask his teacher who he plays with mostly...if you can't get to the school gate to talk to the parent of the child, then send a note in for the teacher to put in the bag of the child in question.

I have had notes like this a few times from parents who work full time...just simple notes saying "X would love Z to come over after school one day...or maybe on a weekend for a play....here's my number, if you think Z would like to come, let me know and we can arrange it."

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