Ex slept in my bed

(40 Posts)
FluffyBunny123 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:09:14

I've been away for two nights meeting up with uni friends & so ex stayed here to look after the kids as he has no space to have them at his.
I set up the sofa bed for him in the spare room but when I got home he said 'your new beds very comfortable' and I actually think the red mist descended, I'm not normally a cross , uptight type person but I feel so much rage!!! We normally get on well, aibu do you think? I feel like I need some validation for my anger!
I got rid of the 'marital' bed & bought a new one, maybe it's stupid but it's mine it's girly, it's got cushions, I love it. I hated sharing a bed with him he has poor hygiene sad
Also I've had to take in lodgers since he left to afford the mortgage so there's nowhere in the house that is just mine, my private space, except my bloody bed in my tiny lovely cosy room!!! Arrrr

LisaRinnasLips Sat 16-Apr-16 21:13:17

Did he change the sheets and leave it as he found it?

Arfarfanarf Sat 16-Apr-16 21:16:30

Did you give it to him both barrels? What did he say?

He knew you had set up the spare room for him. Why on earth choose to sleep in your bed instead? I can't help feeling that there was something behind that choice. That there was significance for him in choosing to sleep in your bed, knowing you had set up the spare room for him, and then saying ooh your bed is comfy... it's very, I dunno, calculated. If he was a cat, he'd have sprayed. Or maybe I'm a suspicious old cow. grin

I suggest that if you have no choice but to have him sleep over again, you make sure you've fitted a lock on your bedroom door.

Gide Sat 16-Apr-16 21:18:12

YANBU. Flame roast him. Bin the bedding.

FluffyBunny123 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:21:02

Yes I went fucking apocalyptic then started crying Jesus I'm mental

Part of it is that I missed the kids too. I've not left them before so emotional

Thank you, you don't know the relief to here yanbu!!!

CaffeineBomb Sat 16-Apr-16 21:21:58

Exactly what Arf said. There is something behind him deciding to sleep in your bed even though he knew the spare room was set up ready.

I hope you made your feelings clear....

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs Sat 16-Apr-16 21:24:33

Probably just being typically selfish and thinking I bet her bed is more comfy than a sofa bed and I deserve a comfy bed. And not really thinking that he is invading your space.

However, just change the sheets and forget.

acasualobserver Sat 16-Apr-16 21:24:33

I agree with a pp - his admission was calculated to piss you off. Bollock him and don't hold back. Also, boil wash your bedding.

FluffyBunny123 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:25:28

No he didn't change the bed, I've just done it. I'm going to boil the sheets! Fucking twat.
Yes that has crossed my mind Arf but he's so thoughtless I doubt he'd think to be calculating iykwim but maybe. It's memory foam which I know he thinks is extravagant so I expect he wanted to try it
I'm annoyed with myself now though because he just shrugged and looked at me like a mad woman when he left so I feel like he has one over on me knowing I'm upset if that makes sense
Oh blimey

FelicityR313 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:25:52

Talk about pissing on his patch. I'd have gone mental.

acasualobserver Sat 16-Apr-16 21:26:32

Sorry, I see you have bollocked him ... I need to type faster.

LineyReborn Sat 16-Apr-16 21:27:46

Next time, padlock your bedroom.

CalleighDoodle Sat 16-Apr-16 21:31:09

You now know without uncertainty that he cannot be trusted in your house. He needs to make room for his children at his home in future.

Rainbunny Sat 16-Apr-16 21:33:57

If it's likely he will stay overnight at your place again might it be worth installing a lock and key for your bedroom?

ohforfoxsake Sat 16-Apr-16 21:35:53

I'm so glad it's not just me! I went fucking mad when XH slept in my bed. He doesn't get 'what my problem is'. angry

Arfarfanarf Sat 16-Apr-16 21:38:34

How did he know it was memory foam? Have you told him previously or did he look?

I don't know him, obviously and if you say he's too daft to be calculating then fair enough, but tbh, you can never rule it out. Plenty who aim to come across as daft have their moments.

But even if he 'just wanted to try it' - he still felt that what you wanted in your own home was of no importance and he could sleep in your bed if he chose. Which shows he has no boundaries. He should have known it was unacceptable. He should have slept in the room provided. What you wanted was not important to him and that's not on.

AfroPuffs Sat 16-Apr-16 21:39:37

Its just disrespectful actually and he was clearly rubbing your nose in it, trying to get to you. Get a lock for the door! Cheeky sod.

Janecc Sat 16-Apr-16 21:45:14

Stinky pig. That's why he's an ex!

EverySongbirdSays Sat 16-Apr-16 21:45:45

ABSOLUTE WANKER. YANBU.

FluffyBunny123 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:50:58

I told him it was memory foam, just in a general chat about it, we normally get on & chat about things. This was a few months ago and he said oooo memory foam get you 🙄
Anyway it's done & he's not staying again

upthegardenpath Sat 16-Apr-16 21:51:38

shock he didn't even have the fucking decency to change the sheets?!!!

Bit like a feral male cat entering your house and pissing in your dainty female cat 's litter tray.

Definitely NBU OP - I would have gone ballistic too.

It was provocative and shite.

TheSuspiciousMsWhicher Sat 16-Apr-16 21:53:57

YANBU. I would be fucking livid.

I agree with the poster upthread who said he was trying to mark his territory.

Still, on the plus side you now know categorically that he is never EVER to be trusted in your home unsupervised again. Twat.

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Apr-16 22:06:20

YANBU, very intrusive, and that's aside from him being a dirty bastard.

I bet he farted all night and left poo crumbs on your lovely sheet too (sorry)

FluffyBunny123 Sat 16-Apr-16 22:07:24

Ewwwwwwwwwwww Zigzag grin

AgentZigzag Sat 16-Apr-16 22:15:40

Obviously I don't know him so I was only guessing and might have been unfairly stereotyping him.

He may not have?

Hahahahaha yeah, right.

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