To hope an adult might have noticed

(100 Posts)
QueenofLouisiana Fri 15-Apr-16 19:15:03

That DS sat and ate an apple and a buscuit for lunch. No drink, no lunchbox as he'd left them at home.

He didn't want to make a fuss so didn't ask for a school dinner or ask the office to contact me. He found some fruit in the classroom and a friend gave him a biscuit.

I'd realised he'd forgotten his lunch and rung school to tell them he'd need a lunch and that I'd drop the money in that afternoon. It was only discovered he hadn't eaten when I tried to pay.

He's in yr6, so yes it is my/ his fault- not the school's. However, no-one noticed a complete lack of food. Are they missing children for whom this is an everyday event- not a one day cock-up? Would you flag this up?

ohmywhatamisaying Fri 15-Apr-16 19:21:22

"To hope an adult might have noticed" - you mean like the parents noticing that they haven't got their lunch with them when they leave the house?

Euphemia Fri 15-Apr-16 19:22:02

I don't imagine they pay a lot of attention to the older ones - probably focussing on the younger children who might need help/supervision.

Hissy Fri 15-Apr-16 19:22:52

Your school should have told him that he had a lunch when you rang. Ours would.

No school would let a child go hungry, You need to have a calm conversation about this with him.

First he needs to take responsibility for his lunchbox (this my have taught him a valuable lesson ironically)

Secondly if he ever finds himself in a similar position to speak to the office.

My son (yr5) always has dinners on Friday, packed lunch other days. One day he got confused and realised he hadn't got his lunchbox. He went to the office and they rang me. I said to them that he had clearly not realised it was Friday, and he had lunch already paid for.

It was then that they said he'd always be fed regardless.

Buckinbronco Fri 15-Apr-16 19:23:04

Yabu. I was like that as a child, too embarrassed to cause fuss. He probably went off quietly and was too embarrassed to ask.

RudeElf Fri 15-Apr-16 19:23:27

Year 6 is 10/11? At that age there isnt much attention paid to what they eat. Staff are paying more attention to little ones tbh. He really is old enough to go and explain that he needs a dinner.

Savagebeauty Fri 15-Apr-16 19:23:42

I would expect a year 6 child to tell someone. He clearly didn't starve.

AChickenCalledKorma Fri 15-Apr-16 19:24:38

There are 400 children at my daughter's school so no, I would not expect them to notice a year 6 child eating less than usual. He should have told someone.

MrsMainwaring Fri 15-Apr-16 19:25:53

What savage said

HypodeemicNerdle Fri 15-Apr-16 19:25:57

Honestly? If he is in year 6 he should have spoken up.
I had a similar incident with my yr 3 DS, suddenly realised he'd left his lunchbox at home in the early afternoon. I rang the school and they checked with him, he'd spoken up and had a hot dinner.
I suspect the school assume that by year 6 that children are old enough to take some responsibility to speak up when they need help

bibbitybobbityyhat Fri 15-Apr-16 19:26:23

No, I don't think I would flag this up. I would have a chat with my child about asking for help when needed.

bushtailadventures Fri 15-Apr-16 19:28:12

Depends on where they eat too I would think, in the Hall with legions 2 supervisors, someone would/should probably have noticed, although lunchtimes can be a little hectic. In the classroom, with maybe 1 supervisor looking after 2 classes, probably too busy trying to get them to behave to notice what he was eating.

Tell him it's not making a fuss to tell the office that he forgot his lunch, someone will always sort him out something to eat.

Mysteryfla Fri 15-Apr-16 19:28:26

Missing one meal won't kill him. I bet he doesn't forget his lunch again.

ParadiseCity Fri 15-Apr-16 19:29:12

My Y6 would be unlikely to speak up, he hates this sort of situation, but being honest that is his own problem to work on and I wouldn't expect school to notice.

SoupDragon Fri 15-Apr-16 19:32:09

He is 1 term off secondary school, he really should have had the sense to tell someone! I think staff would be too busy to notice one single older child didn't have a full lunch.

He'll be fine and has hopefully learnt that he should 1) try to be more organised and b) say something! smile

SolsburyHell Fri 15-Apr-16 19:32:40

I agree with pp that say, at 10/11, it is down to him to have explained the situation. I was expecting you to say that he was KS1. Unless his school his tiny, or it is an every day occurrence, I wouldn't expect the school to notice.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 15-Apr-16 19:32:56

He has to learn to speak up, he is 10/11 years old. Staff are too busy looking after the younger ones, next time it will teach him not to forget his lunch box.

TheFairyCaravan Fri 15-Apr-16 19:33:34

He's going to secondary school soon so he needs to start speaking up. No one will be monitoring lunches then.

Groovee Fri 15-Apr-16 19:33:51

My Ds did this a few times. Eventually he got the courage to tell someone and they would phone to get it sorted.

NerrSnerr Fri 15-Apr-16 19:34:12

He's year 6, he needs to tell someone. He'll be going to secondary in a few months!

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Fri 15-Apr-16 19:34:59

He's 10?
He's past the age of lunch box monitoring. He's old enough to speak up

Costacoffeeplease Fri 15-Apr-16 19:35:22

He needs to remember his lunch or speak up to someone - maybe role play it with him? He's going to need to be a bit more robust in secondary school

PotteringAlong Fri 15-Apr-16 19:35:22

You didn't notice and you've only got 1/2/3 children to sort out!

veryproudvolleyballmum Fri 15-Apr-16 19:35:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz Fri 15-Apr-16 19:36:33

Nutritionally it won't hurt him. A huge proportion of children with ASD are unable to eat outside the house or only very minimally (many struggle to use the toilet in a public building too), they manage 6 hours of school 5 days a week regardless.

I would expect school to notice and give something for you to pay for later, but our school is very small so it would be nigh on impossible for this to go under the radar.

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