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AIBU?

Lunch time club out of school.

31 replies

Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 18:29

Just wondering other peoples thoughts on this. My son Is 9 and in the school they do a lunch time club that is nothing to do with the school and is a short walk away, crossing the road where the school is on and another road. It's held in a church. Just wondering what your thougths are on this. Would you let him go? You need to write a note saying that you allow it. The thing is, I don't think the school want it but all of my sons friends go leaving him out. It puts pressure on me. Would you let him go with his friends? All his friends are turning 10 if that matters and he is one of the youngest in his class.

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Witchend · 12/04/2016 18:49

If he wanted to go then I'd let him. The fact it's off site will add to the excitement, but at 9yo he should be sensible enough to walk a short distance.

I can't imagine the school isn't keen on it. It would be easy enough to say no it can't happen if they didn't want it.

Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 18:56

Thanks. Just wondering what other thoughts are on this :)

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Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 18:57

Tbh, I don't think the school could say no if a parent requests it.

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Leeds2 · 12/04/2016 19:16

Do the school supervise the children going to and from the church, or do they go by themselves?

I think the school could make a new rule about children not being able to leave the school site at lunchtime if they were unhappy with this.

witsender · 12/04/2016 19:17

I'm very surprised that children are allowed off-site at lunchtime unsupervised...Who runs this club?

Vajazzler · 12/04/2016 19:20

There's no way our school would allow a bunch of unattended 9 year olds out of school at lunchtime!

BackforGood · 12/04/2016 19:23

I'm a bit puzzled by this too.
Surely if it's a club for school aged dc, then whoever is running the club would have spoken to the school about the practicalities of it before starting.
The school can't just let dc off the premises in the middle of the day unsupervised.

Can you explain a bit more?

Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 19:26

No one supervises the kids. The club is run by the people at the church. I don't know anything more than that. I don't know of any other school that allows this. I like to know that when my child is at school, that is where he is! I know that my ds is upset cause all his friends go and he is left in the lunch hall on his own. The school don't seem to be able to do anything if the parents give consent that the children can go. I am caught between a rock and a hard place.

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Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 19:29

Maybe the school have an agreement with the church. They are very involved with the school. The children use their lunch money and all walk up to the church to have their lunch then come back down. The parents give consent.
I have said to my ds that he has a perfectly good lunch at his own school but of course he is upset and he wants to be with all his friends.

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BackforGood · 12/04/2016 19:32

In that case, I'd be asking about both the Church and the School's safeguarding policies, tbh.
I've worked in a few schools and, whereas I am more relaxed than a lot of MNs' schools seem to be - for example, I am happy for dc to walk home on their own at this age - I think this is very different as it is about letting them off the premises during the time they are responsible for them.

I'd also be concerned that the Church group are happy to encourage this, and don't simply set up a system whereby they collect and return the whole group.

Just sounds odd all round.

Vajazzler · 12/04/2016 19:33

At our school a child has to be signed out by a collecting adult if they wish to leave during school hours

Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 19:34

I agree and the more I think about it the more unhappy I am about it. Think I know what to do and I will be contacting the school. I am annoyed that they are putting me in this position.

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Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 19:35

Vajazzler, technically they are signed out because the parents have given blanket permission. Say they don't go though? Say they go with someone else. Just opens a whole load of issues in my mind.
Sometimes I need help putting things into perspective as I can be quite over protective.

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Greengardenpixie · 12/04/2016 19:37

I think I need to know more about this before making any decisions. I mean who runs it? Are the rest of the public there? Do none of the other parents care? They obviously think its fine. Even other mums I have chatted to seem to think its fine and that its the kids getting older. Am I being over protective?

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Vajazzler · 12/04/2016 20:02

Personally I wouldn't allow my 9/10 year old out of school unattended. I have a dd in y5 and a ds y4 and there is just too much that could go wrong.
What if they all decide to bunk off? Or one of them gets hit by a car?
Or they decide to go to the park instead and one of them falls off the swing and breaks a leg?

Idefix · 12/04/2016 20:21

How do children use their lunch money op? Most school dinners are paid more formally in primary school...how do they manage issues such as allergies, health needs?
Surely you have to complete a form for the your ds to attend the club?

BackforGood · 12/04/2016 23:44

I'm still a bit fascinated by this.
I can't visualise how 9 and 10 yr olds are just walking out of school at lunchtime
Do they all have to queue up to sign out at the office? Does the Receptionist have to cross reference them against a list? Who is ensuring no-one who hasn't signed out / been given permission doesn't sidle out with their mates?
the more I think about it, the more worrying this is becoming.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2016 23:47

Bloody hell, have they never heard of safeguarding?

Are you in the UK?

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 12/04/2016 23:49

Are you absolutely sure they aren't chaperoned? Seems really odd.

I wouldn't allow my 9 year old out of school unsupervised.

herecomethepotatoes · 13/04/2016 03:35

I'd let him. Really, what's the chance of something bad happening and surely it's time to allow him a little responsibility?

Why do I involuntarily shudder whenever I hear the words 'safeguarding issue'? It generally seems to be applied to wanting to wrap children up in cotton wool.

What if they all decide to bunk off?

Then they'll get in trouble.

Or one of them gets hit by a car?

But someone (OP?) said they're allowed to walk home.

Or they decide to go to the park instead and one of them falls off the swing and breaks a leg?

Then they'll need a cast and all get a bollocking! I'm sure a group of 9-10 year olds has the nous to fetch an adult for a broken leg.

kickassangel · 13/04/2016 03:44

If a child this age went home for lunch, would they need to be collected by a parent, or would they be allowed to walk home alone? It seems that it's the equivalent of going home for lunch, except that they're going to a church hall for lunch.

It's a bit of a grey line about who is responsible for them - technically the parents, only no-one is supervising them.

curren · 13/04/2016 05:54

I wouldn't be happy about my child leaving school to go somewhere I know nothing about at lunchtime.

I would gather all the information then make a decision.

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Greengardenpixie · 13/04/2016 06:52

Thanks for all your opinions. It's really hard. I totally get both sides. It's so difficult when you have a child that is left out. Would those people saying that they would not allow, continue to say that knowing there child dreads lunchtime? I think before I do anything I need to know more. Will be contacting the school to clarify their arrangements. They definetly do go on their own and it is similar to going home for lunch. The parents give permission and that is that. Children in primary 7 with permission are also allowed down to the shops at lunchtime. Saying that is that not what happens at seconary school anyway? My ds is not at that stage though!.

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curren · 13/04/2016 06:58

Dds secondary do not allow kids out of school at lunchtime. She is year 7.

Sixth formers are allowed to come and go as they please.

Obviously if the have an appointment it's allowed. But parents can't give permission for them to leave to go get their lunch elsewhere or pop to the shop.

I like it. I used to bunk off and wouldn't have come back. It's all well and good day 'if they bunk off they get in trouble'. But I don't want an entire afternoon driving round trying to find dd. Worrying about where she is.

And I am pretty sure the school has better things to do rather than chase round a few pupils who haven't turned up. I support the school with this.

I can't imagine dd bunking off, she hates wing in trouble. But I know what I was like. So rest easier knowing she is in school.

Greengardenpixie · 13/04/2016 08:03

For those that asked:

Yes I am in the UK.
The children at primary don't have a formal way of paying school lunch. They bring it to school with them. They pay at lunch time.

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