To find DP's impressions infuriating and offensive

[scarednoob]

OH is a lovely bloke but he has some habits that really irritate me. One of them is an obsession with accents/how people pronounce things. So for example a conversation might go like this:

Me: did you see that on the passenger side of that van?

DP: "parrsenger?" Who says parrsenger?

Me: look, it's going past now

DP: parrsenger, lol

Me: fine, it's gone now

DP: what was it?

Me: I no longer have a single flying fuck to give because we have a variation of this conversation at least once a day...

I have a slight northern accent and (truly crap) Northern is his thing whenever he wants to make out that someone is being a bit dim. I find that offensive. He also does impressions of my northern family, even though he really likes them.

I know he means to be funny, and I know it's just a little thing, but after 5 years of it, I kind of want to staple his tongue to his ears. I have tried many times to explain how I feel, but he just keeps on doing it, and now it's starting to cause arguments.

AIBU and should I try to laugh it off a bit more? Or is it ok to find it infuriating and to kill him and bury him in a shallow grave with northern sayings carved onto his casket?

[MardyBra]

He is a nob. LTB. HTH.

[MardyBra]

And don't laugh it off. Just tell him calmly it is upsetting you. Every time.

[DropYourSword]

My DH is Australian, I'm from northern England. We good naturedly take the piss out of each other (specifically how I say no (nuuuurrrr, apparently), and he says pants (paaaaaaants), but it's not mean spirited. Whereas your DH is earning his shallow grave!

[NoCakeLeft]

Agree with MardyBra

[airside]

Mimic his accent relentlessly. Laugh at him for being uptight about the way people speak. When he objects, smile sweetly.

If that doesn't work, go for the shallow grave.

[whatdoIget]

He sounds boring

[wasonthelist]

YANBU I get this shit of my Southern work Colleagues as well as breathtaking ignorance of UK Geography - one recently said to me in all seriousness " I thought Swindon was some shithole oop North, but then I went there and thought it weren't [sic] too bad".

OP - He needs to sort out whether he prefers to have a decent DP and family, or maintain his small-minded attitude.

We are ll the poorer for this stupid North/South shite.

On a lighter, but related note -

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/woman-who-greets-northerners-by-saying-ay-oop-thinks-they-like-it-20160407107819

[pigsDOfly]

Wouldn't bother with a casket, just carve it on his forehead and stick him in a shallow hole.

No, you don't have to keep laughing it off. If it annoys you and he know that then he's just being rude and disrespectful to keep doing it, especially if it's causing arguments.

My DD's DP has a strong cockney accent, she'd be bloody furious - and quite rightly too - if I made fun of his accent.

I'd try to avoid arguments about, just explain to him that he has to stop doing it because it's rude and not in the least bit funny - if he's anything like my exh the fact that you are getting annoyed about will make him do it all the more - and just keep repeating that.

What sort of accent does he have that his is so perfect he's in a position to laugh at yours.

[acasualobserver]

So, he's been deliberately annoying you - for five years? Tell him to dry up or you're off.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

What would happen if you ignored him after his initial comment and continued to ignore all his conversation about whatever it was you were talking about?

Not sure if that makes sense, but in your example above I mean you refused to engage with any conversation about the passenger after he'd made his initial comment of "Parrsenger?" Who says parrsenger?".

I used to get teased about my voice a lot when I was younger (it's fairly raspy, no idea why) and even today if young children are in a mood where they repeat what I say, for the fun of that rather than picking up on my voice per se I freeze up. I absolutely loathe it, so you do have my sympathy.

Also, would writing everything down in a letter help? I know DP responds far better to serious matters if it's in written form - not so much that it's easier for him to understand but it means he gets my full meaning instead of listening to part of it and then jumping in with his argument against what he thinks I'm going to say.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

He's a dullard.

Tell him you think he's being a wanker then ignore him.

If it's starting to cause arguments and he's still doing it, I'd think he was doing it to deliberately wind you up and that's a problem.

[thecitydoc]

don't understand this - it is southerners not northerners who add a r into most words - such barth (bath) larf (laugh) etc

[RaspberryOverload]

I believe people who makes fun of others in this way secretly believe they are superior. This guy's attitude stinks.

[Itinerary]

YANBU. Would he also take the mickey out of the accent of someone from a different country?

[Skittlesss]

Lol I thought you were a southerner with your paRRsenger.

Us northerners don't talk all posh like that!!!

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Stare at him, completely po-faced and say 'still not funny.'

I'm a Southerner, living in the frozen North (where I love the accent and everyone thinks I'm INCREDIBLY posh).

[LagunaBubbles]

Why are you putting up with a partner who not only doesnt listen when you say this is upsetting you but keeps on doing it?

[Mousefinkle]

Aw I used to do this to exH. He's South African but a lot of his pronunciations were what I'd consider posh . Duvet was devay. He'd give as good as he got and mocked my Yorkshire twang when I said curry (cuhrry). All fun and games.

If you truly hate it though just tell him to shut the fuck up.

[kaitlinktm]

Lol - this reminds me of someone I met at a party years ago at my cousin's flat in London (our family are from the north west). One guest told me that he didn't mind - he would talk to anyone, even if they were from the north. I told him I thought it jolly magnanimous of him - he agreed.

[nocoffeenouppee]

YANBU. My husband does w variation of this. Hard to describe but he'll interrupt what I'm saying to either make a 'funny ' point or break into an accent and then miss what I was trying to say. Gives me total rage.

[tametempo]

If you do indeed pronounce it parrrsenger, he kind of has a point I have visions of Hyacinth Bucket.
I would give him a massive dose of the silent treatment (yes childish) every time he did it, lasting an entire day. He would soon get the message that it just isn't worth it. (I know many men joke that they 'pretend' to hate the silent treatment but they really do. Nobody likes to be ignored)

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

What a knob.

The true knobishness comes from the persistence. You've told him that you find it annoying and offensive yet he continues to do it.

So, he doesn't have a problem annoying and offending you, again and again and again.

K.N.O.B.

[scarednoob]

Thanks all for confirming I'm not overreacting. I love him to bits and it's his only annoying thing - apart from snoring which even I know he can't really help - but god it is annoying.

Ha, it's not me who says parrsenger but it was the most recent example I could think of. Sadly I feel the size of hyacinth bouquet these days though, so not entirely inaccurate.

[lacktoastandtolerance]

Say "You're being a warrnker"

Repeat to everything he says until he changes the subject. Just endlessly repeat it.

Or just tell him to fuck off.

[molyholy]

What a fucking dullard he sounds.