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AIBU?

I have no confidence

9 replies

Harboromummy · 10/04/2016 13:32

I trust my dp, but I have no confidence in myself what so ever.

Dp is away training for his dream job. It's a very manly job and quiet a traditional job.

Anyway he's away in a class room for 5 days a week, then has tea with the same people. He's in group with 3 men and 3 women.

He's became friends with one of the women whose 6 years older and single apparently. No children ect.

He told me her name and where she lives. So I found her on Facebook.

She's stunning. And completely his type. She's well traveled, posh looking and just sounds lovely.

I'm at home heavily pregnant getting fatter by the day, with two dc from a previous marriage. Why would he want to come home to that when he's having intelligent conversations all week. He could do so much better :(

I feel rubbish.

OP posts:
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Oooblimey · 10/04/2016 13:47

Ahh bless you, I'm sorry you're feeling low. The thing is she's not his type, you are! Because he has chosen to be in a relationship with you! Smile
I understand why you are feeling down on yourself. Can you treat yourself to a bit of a pamper to give you a bit of a confidence boost? New hair do? Manicure?
You've said you trust him which shows that you know that he wants to be with you. Don't go on about her to him as that's your insecurities and will likely have the opposite effect to what you want - you want him to reassure you but he'll probably just be annoyed at you and end up in you being more upset.
Tell him that you're feeling low and why, that compared to non pregnant glam women you're feeling a bit drab, then suggest doing something together (date night?) that you can go to town on making the effort for.
I feel a bit like a 1950's agony aunt giving this advise but I think it will do the trick GrinThanks

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MsFiestyPants · 10/04/2016 13:49

Because he loves you lady! And if hes a nice man appreciates your fattened state as giving him a lovely baby (im 32w so feel your pain!) Flowers if you can, do something a bit lovely for yourself, you do really deserve it!

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Pinkheart5915 · 10/04/2016 13:55

beause he loves you, your happy and having a baby together Flowers

As ooblimey suggested maybe get yourself a little treat, face mask new hair or such like.
Try and do something together once his back, put a movie on and some snacks or takeaway.

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WingsofNylon · 10/04/2016 17:18

As everyone else says, because he lives you. I really struggle with feeling that my dp could do so much better but i just remind myself that if he felt that way would have tottered off by now. Don't dwell on it too mych. Do something tgat will give you a boost and plan something fun for when he gets back.

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oliviaclottedcream · 10/04/2016 18:19

Yes..You're the only one he loves OP. You're about to bring a wonderful little life into the world. Bet she's a right boring cow anyway

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Birdsgottafly · 10/04/2016 19:05

""Bet she's a right boring cow anyway""

Why do we always have to go down the route of attacking another woman? She obviously isn't boring, he's become friends with her.

She's a person, not an object there for the taking.

OP, he's chosen you, I'm sure that there were single women around, who looked 'stunning' at the time he did this this, but it was you, he wanted.

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oliviaclottedcream · 11/04/2016 16:25

Boring cow,.. I was rather hoping that would be taken as 'here's me talking to myself'. You know? That's what I'd be telling myself if I was the OP... Just a bit of fun and a desperate attempt to make myself feel better.... Because I'm like that!

If I really wanted to be attacking another women. There'd be no ambiguity I promise you.

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Birdsgottafly · 11/04/2016 16:35

But finding fault with other Women, isn't a way to successfully build your own self confidence or esteem.

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oliviaclottedcream · 11/04/2016 18:11

Blimey -- really? I'll write that on a post-it and put it on my headboard.. Some people pay a life coach for gems like that!!

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