To think this is possibly abusive but ...

(10 Posts)
Thebrowntrout Sat 09-Apr-16 09:44:51

I honestly don't know what I should do, if anything.

Friend has small children and a highly abusive marriage. It's definitely physical but I don't know the details and she is cagey about it. It's also financial and emotional but I'm guessing that is harder to prove, at any rate she has left him before but always gravitates back and now one of the children is being violent and she is 'blank face' don't know why.

Can SS do anything in these instances? It's pretty pointless supporting her to leave him as I just don't think she will.

ghostyslovesheep Sat 09-Apr-16 09:47:50

There is a significantly high link between domestic abuse and child abuse - if the police are called and children are present SS should be informed - so yes they would be interested BUT without evidence may be limited in what they can do x

FreeSpirit89 Sat 09-Apr-16 09:49:32

That's not always the case, the police were called on my abusive ex and social services weren't involved at all. Despite there being a child in the house at the time.

Thebrowntrout Sat 09-Apr-16 09:52:13

It just seems horrible that children can grow in this awful environment with a mother who pretends it's not happening and a father who is evil.

SweetieDrops Sat 09-Apr-16 09:53:02

Are SS already involved? If not I think you should report them for the childrens' sake. It's not their choice to live in that kind of environment, poor things.

ghostyslovesheep Sat 09-Apr-16 09:54:20

Free the police where in the wrong then as they are required to if children are present

Thebrowntrout Sat 09-Apr-16 09:56:56

The problem is she will deny any issues and so SS will see a lovely family hmm

grapejuicerocks Sat 09-Apr-16 11:21:29

You can lead the horse to water but you can't make them drink.

Id have to be blunt and say "can't you see the link between his fathers behaviour and his" Then depending on her reaction is try to discuss it more.

Or buy her a book - other people have lots of suggestions on which ones.
Or print out stuff about FOG - again people have more knowledge about that than me. Try posting in relationships.

You can only arm her with information. It's up to her then.

If it's really bad, a call to ss would mean that you really have done everything possible. You've passed the problem over and then it's all out of your control.

ghostyslovesheep Sat 09-Apr-16 11:26:09

SS will talk to the children and to their schools etc as well - not just your friend - it maybe that the childs behaviour has been noted by school and SS asking about it may prompt them to raise it as a concern

please report it - and keep doing so x

TheNaze73 Sat 09-Apr-16 14:28:15

It's your duty as a civil human being, not to walk past stuff like this

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