To be annoyed at my dad for making me feel awkward breastfeeding

(247 Posts)
crunchymummy Fri 08-Apr-16 14:19:36

When he comes round and I feed DS he always leaves the room, "I'm just going to check on the dinner." "I'm just going to go for a walk"

UGH I'd like to feel comfortable feeding my son in my own house

AIBU to be annoyed?

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 08-Apr-16 14:22:21

Yabu. You're comfortable to breastfeed in front of people and that's great! It doesn't mean that people need to be comfortable with you breastfeeding in front of them though. He isn't being rude, making remarks or anything, he's just politely excusing himself.

WorraLiberty Fri 08-Apr-16 14:24:18

Yes of course Yabu.

Unless he's tutting, rolling his eyes and slamming the door behind him, it's up to him if he wants to leave the room.

AliensInUnderpants12 Fri 08-Apr-16 14:24:41

Exactly what PaulAnkaTheDog said smile

SpeakNoWords Fri 08-Apr-16 14:24:44

YANBU to be annoyed, but realistically you can't change his reaction or complain about it to him as he isn't being rude or horrible about it. You may find that he gets more used to it as time goes on, and relaxes about it.

InlandTiger Fri 08-Apr-16 14:24:47

YABU

He feels awkward so he makes an excuse and leaves the room. Why should he stay if he'd rather not watch you BF? He's probably just embarrassed or maybe thinks you want privacy.

My dad finds BF awkward, so if he's in the room I use a nursing cover. He's a guest in my home and I want him to feel at ease, why not?

Creatureofthenight Fri 08-Apr-16 14:25:31

I think you're a little U, he's obviously not comfortable but he's not making a fuss, he's just removing himself from the room.

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 08-Apr-16 14:25:35

I understand where you're coming from....
My parents visited me and DD in hospital the day she was born, and I had just finished feeding DD when they showed up. I was pulling my top up and my dad said really loudly "Omg she's not breastfeeding is she?!" And turned away so fast, he almost pirouetted hmm.....but at least your dad politely excuses himself. I can see why it's uncomfortable for a dad to see his daughter's boobs, even if she is using them to feed his grandchild blush

Stanky Fri 08-Apr-16 14:26:06

My dad was the same. He probably thinks that he's doing the right thing by giving you some privacy, and is probably trying to make you feel more comfortable. You could ask him to stay if you really want him to, but I would let him leave.

TooMinty Fri 08-Apr-16 14:28:34

My dad and FIL were the same - usually meant I got a brew as they went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Result! wink

crunchymummy Fri 08-Apr-16 14:31:05

My FIL stays in the room but doesn't comment on it just acts like nothing is happening - which makes me feel a bit less of an inconvenience to people but I see where everyone is coming from - I'm not exactly going to ask my dad to stay and watch me BF DS haha smile

squoosh Fri 08-Apr-16 14:32:39

YABU

Let the poor man leave the room if he wants.

Twixthecat Fri 08-Apr-16 14:33:07

I can understand you being annoyed. However my dad was the same. He's a typical older generation 'hands off' dad to 4 daughters. He didn't change our nappies or that sort of thing when we were little unless absolutely necessary. He gets very squeamish about anything along the lines of womens personal issues.
He's mellowed a lot now and agrees that things have changed now and men should be involved. But when I had my DS the only time he hung about while I breastfed was when he visited in hospital the day after he was born. Even then he was uncomfortable and asked if I'd prefer him to wait outside the curtain...which I said was pointless as I was pretty much constantly feeding!

Give him chance. How old is your DS? Might just take a bit of getting used to x

squoosh Fri 08-Apr-16 14:34:03

My Dad would definitely check the bins/let the dog out for a wee/put the kettle on/any other excuse he could think of.

PPie10 Fri 08-Apr-16 14:34:12

Yabu he feels awkward so he left. And he wasn't rude. You also need to accept that not everyone is going to sit and coo over you.

WorraLiberty Fri 08-Apr-16 14:34:35

You could ask him to stay if you really want him to, but I would let him leave.

That's such a weird comment. I have no idea why I burst out laughing grin

minipie Fri 08-Apr-16 14:44:05

Have you told him that you're not bothered if he sees you BF?

Maybe he thinks you'd prefer him to leave, in which case you just need to (politely) correct the misapprehension.

MammaTJ Fri 08-Apr-16 14:53:13

I laugh at how DP (not DD1s DF) suddenly develops a fascination with the TV when she is BF her DD. He can handle being in the same room though.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 08-Apr-16 14:56:05

I think he has as much right not to want to watch as you to to BF whenever and where ever you chose. He's not 'making you feel uncomfortable' you're making yourself feel that by taking it the wrong way when he's probably trying to make you feel more comfortable!

Itinerary Fri 08-Apr-16 14:56:49

YABU. He's not making you feel awkward, he's just choosing to leave the room.

GiraffesAndButterflies Fri 08-Apr-16 14:56:58

YABVU. One of two things is happening: either he thinks you're happier with him leaving in which case you could reassure him but your annoyance is misplaced. Or he is uncomfortable staying in which case he is perfectly entitled to leave and he is being polite and tactful about it.

If he was asking you to leave then you would have something to be annoyed about.

PeppasNanna Fri 08-Apr-16 14:59:04

I never bf my dc infront of my dad or fil. Bear in mind they were visting us & i wouldcexcuse myself & go & feed the baby.

They are older men in their 70's & bf is not 'normal' to them, bottle feeding is.

TooMinty Fri 08-Apr-16 15:00:01

I should add that my mum bf all three of us so it's not like my dad is unfamiliar with the idea!

LifeofI Fri 08-Apr-16 15:00:15

YABU you are his child, he doesnt want to see your boob, regardless about BF is natural he doesnt want to see your boob. It doesnt mean he thinks badly of BF he just feels seeing his daughter partly naked is awkward as most dads would.
He is not saying anything to you he is just walking out the room, leave him alone.
Your dad is different from a stranger.

kateandme Fri 08-Apr-16 15:02:42

I think its seeing grown daughters blobs becomes inappropriate at some stage,so even though a different situation with it bf I think the uncomfortable feeling of right and wrong will be niggling him?not necaserily the bf itself

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