to think this isn't 'normal' pms

(25 Posts)
MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:07:00

My mental health I think is fine in general.

But before my period (for a week) I get really bad pms. I know that's generally normal for a woman.

But I don't know if mine is 'normal'.
I have really vivid bad dreams. Get really weird towards my husband. One minute I can't stand him. Next I accuse him of cheating (for the most strangest of reasons. And I have no other reason to do this other than this time of month). Our relationship is usually really loved up.
I cry. In front of my son even. I notice I'm more irritable in work when I'm usually the most Easy going and lair back.
I'm extremely paranoid one second and then the next I don't care about anything.

My mum has told me that for my age (25) this isn't normal and 'God help me when I get older if I'm like this now'

Does this sound like normal pms to you? Or something more?
I'm not using any birth control, nor do I want to. But is there something the doctor can give to help ease these strange moods.confused
Thanks

curren Wed 06-Apr-16 18:28:05

It doesn't sound 'usual' to me.

Women get PMS is many different ways. But tbh if I had to live with someone who acted like you do a Quarter of the time, then I would be insisting your spoke to a GP.

I don't mean that to sound harsh. But living with you must be miserable for that week. As your DC get older they will pick up on it too and I am sure you don't want that either.

I have pcos and find myself very angry the week before my period. I hated it and myself for the way I was. I went back on the injection pill (even though dh has had the snip) it sorted it out.

Speak to your GP, they may only offer birth control. But just see what they have to say.

PPie10 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:35:01

Yanbu it sounds awful for you but you do need to speak to your gp.
It's really not fair on your Dh and your son to be experiencing this on a frequent basis. Your Dh is a saint for putting up with being accused all the time. You need to seek help asap.

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:47:45

Thank you for the replies.
It's getting me down when I know it's going to happen in the next few days.

My dreams are utterly horrendous too. Lifelike that my teeth are falling out. I know that doesn't sound too bad but that's the one fresh on my memory. And it was so so lifelike.

Re the accusations- most times he can just laugh at them. As they are so ridiculous. They arnt like 'you are cheating!! I know it' yelling at him. It's more like sly digs. In my head it makes sense then as soon as I say it in like what the hell. Even I know it's crazy.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:51:07

Google pmdd. I think you have it. I'm not a GP but speak from experience

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:51:51

Oh and it's not all the time. It's once a month. The rest of the time I'm an extremely loving and doting wife haha.
That's why wanted advice on if it's 'normal' pms or not.

I'm always reading on social media about how 'crazy' women get before periods. I guess mine is to the extreme though blushsad

FellOutOfBedTwice Wed 06-Apr-16 18:54:32

I had this when I was on the microgynon pill. It made me fully mental. Went to GP and he thought he was too much progesterone so maybe you produce too much naturally? I would go and see my doctor if I were you.

zoelife111 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:55:02

well, you can make a decision NOT to accuse your OH of cheating.......

ivykaty44 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:57:02

This may not be PMS

Do you get anxious or over emotional?
Are you a bit restless?
Do you get the munchies?

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 18:59:50

Zoelife- obviously it's not as simple as that. If it was I wouldn't be concerned about it would i? It's something for a few days I feel I can't control. Again, I don't yell and scream at him. It's more like little comments, that are eating me up indie for an hour or two. When I finally come out with it I feel like a mad woman.

No I don't really have those other signs. Rest of the month I'm pretty stable haha.

I will google that thanks smile

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:36:59

I google pmdd and it does sound like I have it in a mild form!
It mentions agnus castus can help. I was taking that for a few months till January and I noticed then that my mood swings were a lot lot better. Just a little more irritable.

I will definitely order some more agnus castus. I'll monitor it and if no change make app with gp. Thanks to the lady that posted about the pmdd!

specialsubject Wed 06-Apr-16 19:46:02

suggest seeing the GP rather than self-prescribing powerful drugs.

no, this isn't normal and you need treatment.

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:50:52

Agnus castus is a herbal drug? Could that be dangerous then? You buy it in Holland and barratts or boots

10storeylovesong Wed 06-Apr-16 19:51:51

I have nothing but sympathy for you, I feel exactly the same. For approx 1 week a month I feel depressed, angry, lethargic, exhausted. I snap at the slightest of things, and either shout or cry. I know I'm doing it, but can't seem to stop myself. It's like I'm watching myself from the outside. It's awful. It's made worse I think at the moment as we're currently on 26th cycle of ttc so there's added emotions, and I can't take anything to help it as ttc. I really do feel for you.

zoelife111 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:54:45

You are not in control of your feelings, but you are in control of your behaviour.

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:56:06

Aw sorry to hear that. It is like looking at yourself from the outside. It doesn't feel like 'you' does it?

Literally as soon as I get my period, I'm back to the sweet girl I am haha.

We have the perfect relationship for the rest of the time. Which is why it's so weird how it goes from one extreme to the other.

Hope yours eases soon thanks

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:56:57

So what do you suggest Zoe?

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 19:57:35

I've tried NOT feeling the way I do but it doesn't really help

iKatie - I get those symptoms. What do they suggest?

StringyPotatoes Wed 06-Apr-16 20:12:59

Zoe
I feel like this too and once I linked it to my period I was able to stop snapping and making sly comments in the direction of people who pissed me off. Now, instead, I hold it in so much I can't sleep for the anxiety or I cry at them.
I genuinely do not feel in control of my behaviour.

I had seen things about PMDD but couldn't believe that I was any different to anyone else. Interesting that people don't seem to think this is normal.

MrsS1990 Wed 06-Apr-16 20:26:28

Like I'll give an example. Earlier we had words becauSe I said a comment. We've been fine since I apologised, ( and he apologised for not understanding and getting pissed off about it, though he shouldn't have to)

But maybe tomorrow afternoon I'll cry over something silly like forgetting to buy something.

It's that kind of timeframe and that kind of thing

mizu Wed 06-Apr-16 20:48:42

I had this - and worse - for about 20 years or so. Through uni I was ok but would get terrible moods and feel awful for about a week once a month, heavy bleeding too. Headaches - which only got worse on contraception of any kind.

It was always a relief when I got my period and for years I would think that I could manage it each month. It became normal ( and my sis has same symptoms) to feel really rough, unbelievably tired, ravaneous, paranoid, anxious, you name it, I felt it.

Hit 40 and it got worse and with terrible bleeding too ( which I had a couple of ops for) and I had had enough. I felt crap most of the month with bad headaches when I was ovulating too!!

My mum had a hysterectomy when she was 42, as did her mum.

Eventually got referred to a consultant who was fabulous and said I had PMDD ( this was last summer and I remember going into his office and just breaking down in tears, perhaps cos it was a relief to be there and someone was finally taking me seriously).

I had a full hysterectomy in November last year and it has changed my life, I can now arrange to do things without looking at the calendar and even though I am getting used to taking HRT, I feel better than I have for years.

Not suggesting that you go down such a drastic route [ grin] but just to let you know that it is not that uncommon to feel like this and there are things you can do if you visit a good GP.

Angus castus btw did used to help me and my sister takes St. John's wort for her PMT.

Good luck

VilootShesCute Wed 06-Apr-16 21:24:15

I suffer like this too op. It's hell. I'm a bit older than you and in my experience it has gotten worse over the years but that's no way saying yours will as we are all different! To the poster saying that you can control your behaviour when you're going through this has obviously never experienced the awful hormone changes some of us go through. I physically cannot control what comes out of my mouth or some of the anger that projects from me when I'm in this state. I feel for you op. Good that you're seeking help though as it's not easy to admit to others that your behaviour is affecting the people you love. Hope you can sort it.

BoomalakkaWee Thu 07-Apr-16 12:09:31

I just want to say a huge THANK YOU! to the OP and everybody who contributed to this thread last night - at last I have some idea of what's been happening to me, too.

Like the OP, I've begun suffering vivid and terrifying nightmares, in my case combined with multiple false awakenings and sleep paralysis. On each occasion, they've occurred six days before my period arrived. BUT because I'm more than twice the OP's age, I believed it was some kind of menopausal madness and have been scouring Menopause discussion boards unsuccessfully, trying to find anybody else going through a similar experience. I genuinely felt as though I was heading for some kind of breakdown.

Thank you so much, everybody, for pointing me towards PMDD and for the vital reassurance that I'm not unique in going through this. flowers

MrsLupo Thu 07-Apr-16 13:04:09

It could definitely be PMS. 'Normal' covers a very wide spectrum of experience. It isn't by any means related to your age. Women who are prone to it generally suffer a range of symptoms which fluctuate greatly in type and severity over their lifetime. Elevated oestrogen levels can affect sleep, so definitely worth seeing your GP and getting advice and some bloods, but in your shoes I would mainly be looking at my lifestyle and habits, as ime this has the biggest effect on severity of PMS symptoms. Specifically, I would be looking at diet and maybe try cutting out anything that's a problem area for you, and more fundamentally reducing caffeine, alcohol and junk, if applicable. In other words cleaning your act up. Plus making sure you get enough sleep and managing stress. Talk to your partner so he knows what to expect and doesn't overreact to PMS-related behaviour. I would counsel caution when it comes to following advice on the menopause board here (aimed more at Boomalakka than the OP) - I haven't visited in a while but there is often a plethora of conflicting and not very well informed advice.

(Medically trained but very rusty, fwiw.)

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