To send DD to father EOW?

(5 Posts)
Fanfeck Wed 06-Apr-16 10:51:35

At the moment my DD (nearly 5) sees her dad one or two days a week while I'm in work, it usually works out being him one of the days and his mother the other day.

Considering we all lived together as a family until he walked out for someone else 9 months ago, this is is a huge reduction in their time together but she doesn't ask to see him more and he doesn't ask to see her more but lately I feel suffocated having no break whatsoever besides work so we sat down and decided that we'd stick with the current arrangement (which is only till 6.30pm) and he'll take her every second weekend Friday to Sunday.

At the time, when I was exhausted and desperate for some free time, planning a weekend away etc this sounded fine but now I'm second guessing myself. Is it too much? What if he has his mother minding DD and she spends the weekend there bored out of her skull?

What's normal in this situation?

BillSykesDog Wed 06-Apr-16 10:58:42

I think that sounds fine. Even when parents are still together when the other parent is doing bedtimes or get ups and taking them off for a bit to give the other a break they should be doing about that much. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.

Even if it is her Gran looking after her I think if she's having to deal with a bored 5 year old she will soon come up with ways of making her un-bored for her own sanity if nothing else!

Charley50 Wed 06-Apr-16 21:05:16

I think it's fine too and hopefully it will cement the bond dd has with her dad and grandma. My DS has been going to his dads EOW for years now; they are close and do totally different things to what I do with DS; eg they have loads of animals and I don't.
I have always enjoyed the break. I have had a lot of people saying 'oh you must miss him so much' over the years, but actually I love the time off and I believe in the child's right to a relationship with their (non-abusive) dad. Go for it.

EatShitDerek Wed 06-Apr-16 21:07:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charley50 Wed 06-Apr-16 21:13:38

Just want to add; play the long game. The desired end result is that a growing up, teenage, then adult, DD has a good relationship with both parents and with her self confidence or sense of self- worth remaining strong. You will help that along the way by doing the EOW thing and ensuring that your ex continues to be a proper dad to his own daughter.

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