to find this irritating and a bit rude

(44 Posts)
pointlessalbatross Mon 04-Apr-16 11:46:49

I have a friend I've known for a long time. We speak once a week or so, often on a Saturday evening. She'll ask what we're having for tea and whatever I say she seems to find something negative to say about it. Some examples:
curry / Indian takeaway (our favourite) - she doesn't like curry, allergic to coriander, same story about unexpected coriander attack every time!
Steak - overpriced burgers!
Pizza - meat on pizza is horrible
Salami / pepperoni - she doesn't like it
Cheese on toast - hates cooked cheese, tells same story about how it was the only thing her ex fiance ever cooked for her despite knowing she didn't like it.

There's probably more too. It's often followed up with "but you know me, I'm not fussy".
I am willing to accept that I am being too easily irritated by this and that she's just trying to make conversation. There's a whole load of other issues with this friend so I could just be predisposed to being irritated by her. However, this really just grates on me. What do you think?

sixinabed Mon 04-Apr-16 11:49:46

They sound like really boring conversations. Presumably there's more interesting content? Maybe weekly contact is too much if she can only repeat the same stories about which food she dislikes. Odd and YANBU

Uptownfuckuup Mon 04-Apr-16 11:51:16

don't tell her

Junosmum Mon 04-Apr-16 11:51:56

YANBU I have a friend who does similar with pretty much everything I say, it is really irritating. Thing is, in other ways she's great.

EatShitDerek Mon 04-Apr-16 11:52:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

esiotrot2015 Mon 04-Apr-16 11:52:18

Sounds like the friendship has run its course as you've nothing to talk about

molyholy Mon 04-Apr-16 11:53:20

Tell her you're having cows cocks and onions.

molyholy Mon 04-Apr-16 11:54:01

You should ask her what she is having for tea, then say 'ooh us too'. Or just end the friendship.

Sometimesithinkimbonkers Mon 04-Apr-16 11:55:50

We are having shit with the dirt picked out!!!!

That's what my mum told me !!!

GastonsPomPomWrath Mon 04-Apr-16 12:00:15

Whenever the kids ask me what we're having and I have no idea I say

"the scrapings from the sole of my foot!"

Maybe you should try that with her.

PortiaCastis Mon 04-Apr-16 12:03:58

My Mum says duckshit and lard
Sounds nicegrin

MartinaJ Mon 04-Apr-16 12:06:07

tell her you are having balut and crackers with casu marzu for dessert

pointlessalbatross Mon 04-Apr-16 12:24:03

Great suggestions! Might have to try some of those :-)

Most of the conversation is her talking about her own problems to be honest, usually on for nearly an hour. I could definitely handle less! I may be a little boring to talk to (like a quiet life), but shes often dismissive of anything i tell her about, good or bad, so i dont feel inclined to share much anyway. Maybe it is a sign that we have little in common anymore, but she is very unhappy and I'd hate to be another person in her life who just walks away.

When she said the thing about steak I laughed and said jokingly do you ever like anything we're eating? She got emotional and said I was having a go at her!

BoatyMcBoat Mon 04-Apr-16 12:24:55

Ask her what she's having. Tell her you don't like it and why, even if you'd be lying.

Or tell her she won't like it.

Or change the subject. Make up something utterly ridiculous (for instance, they've discovered how to revivify dead corpses and the first human one they're going to do is Alan Rickman, next week. He'll be back to filming in about 3 months....) Make your conversation more fun.

Or tell her "cooked cheese. Now it's your turn to tell me about your awful ex who only ever cooked you that" if you want her out of your life.

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth Mon 04-Apr-16 12:26:34

Get in first and ask what she is having, then just say "oh me too!" smile

MrsJorahMormont Mon 04-Apr-16 12:27:45

Toe cheese on toast. It's a spicy variation on the original and if her ex had made it for her, she'd have been all over it.

honeylulu Mon 04-Apr-16 12:33:30

Say you are having dog poo pie.That's what my other half teases the children with when they ask.

CigarsofthePharoahs Mon 04-Apr-16 12:34:15

Get really creative: -
"Well tonight I thought we'd have pickled ammonites, with some fried Micropachycephalosaurus steaks with a boiled dodo egg on the top."

SistersOfPercy Mon 04-Apr-16 12:37:52

When I was a kid in this area you would have a 'kick up the pantry door'.
Go with that. If nothing else you'd confuse the fuck out of her.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 04-Apr-16 12:42:50

It's a cup of cold sick in this house.

Well not literally obvs.

MadamDeathstare Mon 04-Apr-16 12:43:23

When DD1 repeats the same point in an argument on the drive home from school I say 'So you've said.......several times'. It annoys her prodigiously.

I also like BoatyMcBoat's suggestion.

MadamDeathstare Mon 04-Apr-16 12:44:54

How about 'Something you would find revolting so I'm not going to tell you' as a response.

Youarentkiddingme Mon 04-Apr-16 12:45:00

She sounds hard work. But TBH be honest I'd say it's not really a friendship based on her response to your jokey reply "do you like anything I eat?!".

My best friend and I speak often. Sometimes quite easily for hours an hour in the phone. Sometimes during less busy times it's hard to find something to stick with conversation wise for longer than a quick exchange iyswim? (Yiu know the sort of dinner conversation!)

However, if either one of us was responding negatively to the other - whether intended or not - if the other drew attention to it jokingly it would be taken as such - a quick "oh sorry", a giggle and move on.

amarmai Mon 04-Apr-16 12:57:58

phone calls like that are better to deal with on speaker phone, as you can do other things while the person rattles on.That way they don't annoy as much as when they have access to your brain thru your ear.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 04-Apr-16 13:00:16

Her - What did you have for dinner?
You - Nothing yet, what are you having? Might give me some ideas!

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