To feel a bit out of it

(8 Posts)
Stillbloodyfat Sun 03-Apr-16 12:05:17

I have been in a new job at a preschool for a few months now. I took it out of convenience if I'm honest as it fits in with school hours but I do enjoy working with the children. I struggle with confidence though, after several years out of work I do feel a bit nervous a lot of the time and I'm new to childcare and constantly feel painfully aware of not being qualified or experienced enough. I'm not the most practical person either, I used to do IT so having to think on my feet and be practical is sometimes quite a challenge.

The hardest thing I've found though is fitting in with the other staff. They're all lovely but they're such a tight knit group. On the works night out they didn't speak to me very much and shared a bottle between them and didn't invite me in. Luckily there were volunteers there that I could talk to. They Facebook each other ideas for preschool etc. but I'm not really included in any of it. Now I've just found out they've all been in over the Easter holidays cleaning, painting, clearing out old toys etc. and I wasn't even aware of it. I don't know why I feel so bad about it - I hate cleaning and painting and I've had plenty of stuff on this holiday so would have struggled to find the time but I guess it hurts a little to be dismissed as a source of help. I guess they know I'm not the most practical person or maybe they just don't like me or feel I'm part of their team yet.

It's just demotivated me a little and I find it hard already to be positive and believe in myself and my ability to do this job as it is. Am I being a total twat?!

SmallCarrot Sun 03-Apr-16 12:12:17

No, it says more about them than it says about you.
Easier said than done but do try not to let it bother you and be thankful that you've had your Easter holiday without having to go into work.

Stillbloodyfat Sun 03-Apr-16 13:17:24

Thanks Carrot x

kerstina Sun 03-Apr-16 13:23:48

I agree with Carol I have worked in a number of nurseries and have found a few of them like this . Often very cliquey i would say just be yourself and stay professional often these people get a bit too close to each other and it's not always a good thing . Work shouldn't just be an extension of your social life .

Lemonblast Sun 03-Apr-16 13:26:02

Where you the only person on the night out who didn't share a bottle?

AdrenalineFudge Sun 03-Apr-16 13:27:36

I'd stay professional. I think these type of cliques are common in a lot of workplaces. It might be a matter of time for you to be 'in' with them but as a pp mentioned it is a workplace not a social gathering.

Answeringwhyquestionssince2002 Sun 03-Apr-16 13:53:17

Hang on in there OP. I've been working in a preschool for two and a half years now and the first year exactly as you describe - the other staff formed an impenetrable clique, I felt as though they were laughing behind my back every time I made a mistake (so I tended to make more mistakes), and if I spoke at meetings I would catch them rolling their eyes at each other. I was desperate to leave, but decided I would have to stick it for a couple of years so it wouldn't look bad on my CV.

Gradually, staff changed - two left on maternity leave and only one came back, other staff joined. I was less the 'outsider', though as an introvert I'm still the quiet one. As long as I'm doing my job well, I don't care. I love it now, but it took a long time - thirteen months before any of them even added me on FB.

Some workplaces are like that - they unite against the outsider because that makes them feel better and more included themselves. I am sure it will change for you, but I feel your pain.

Stillbloodyfat Sun 03-Apr-16 19:37:19

Thanks for your support all, I feel a little better now x

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