AIBU to sleep train my 18 week old?

(80 Posts)
Wineandpopcorn Sun 03-Apr-16 11:12:53

Hi my 18 week old daughter has never slept longer than 3 hours at night, and that was when she was a newborn. For the last 8 weeks she generally only sleeps for an hour and 45 minutes at a time throughout the night, waking up screaming and needing to be fed back to sleep. Most of the times shes not hungry and only has a few sips of her bottle.

She can't keep a dummy in her mouth, it just falls out.

Giving her a cuddle/patting her/shushing her/white noise/swaddling/ music etc all result in even more screaming.

Putting her in bed with me makes no difference.

She only catnaps in the day for about 20 minutes every now and then.

I seriously can't cope anymore. I have no help, plus have a teenager and a 2 year old.

Does anyone have any advice on sleep training a baby so young? I really didn't want to resort to this but I honestly can't cope for much longer.

peardroplets Sun 03-Apr-16 15:29:45

It sounds like you've got the four month sleep regression. It does get better I promise! It really is too early to do any training as she is so tiny. I know that is probably not what you want to hear though xx

nephrofox Sun 03-Apr-16 15:33:09

No you can't sleep train her, she's too young, it won't work and it's cruel.

What you CAN do is gently work to improve her sleep patterns. It sounds like she chronically overtired from the frequent waking and poor naps. Have a think about what helps her sleep - car, buggy sling? Then I would focus on doing that so she naps for 45 mins, every 3 hours. The 2 year old can join in the after lunch one!

BeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 03-Apr-16 15:46:59

Hi all - we're going to move this thread over to AIBU at the OP's request.

Vintage45 Sun 03-Apr-16 15:50:22

Im another one sayings she's far too tiny. Babies dictate at this age and rightly so.

goodenoughmum88 Sun 03-Apr-16 15:53:55

Oohhhh it's so hard. I have a 6 month old catnapper/frequent waker and a 3 year old who no longer naps! Have a read of Pinky McKay? She's very gentle and explains it all better than I could in a post on my phone! X

RandomMess Sun 03-Apr-16 15:57:26

I did pick up put down with my youngest at a very young age. However if your DD always feeds to sleep that is the first thing you would need to change.

Could she have mild silent reflux?

Also when I say pick up put down no crying/screaming was involved.

Wineandpopcorn Sun 03-Apr-16 16:00:33

She has reflux, but this is controlled with omeprazole.

I know she's ridiculously young to sleep train, but I just don't see any other way of sorting her terrible sleep out!!! I really am desperate, I just don't know what to do sad.

LeanneBattersby Sun 03-Apr-16 16:04:21

Waking that often at that age is on the shitty end of normal, but it is normal nevertheless. All my three have been like this.

She probably just wants to know you're there when she wakes up. I'd bed share at that age. I have with all of mine. It's much easier not to have to get up and down every time they cry.

Allisgood1 Sun 03-Apr-16 16:04:39

thanksOP. It's hard, I know. Can you cosleep? I swear this saved my sanity all three times. It's likely her reflux bugging her at night, dd2 was the same. It did calm down, but she was around 9 months when she started sleeping better. Hang in there, it doesn't last long (even though it feels that way).

cowbag1 Sun 03-Apr-16 16:04:47

We started using a swaddle for ds at that age (we used the 'peanut' as it doesn't restrict the hips). It worked a treat and he slept much better in it.

We used it until he went into his cot (as he could roll over) at 5.5mo.

RandomMess Sun 03-Apr-16 16:11:00

Unfortunately I think it's the reflux. DC3 had this and it was horrendous. Have you done the obvious things like propping cot up? Using a sling or back pack for upright day time sleeps will probably help.

Wineandpopcorn Sun 03-Apr-16 16:13:31

Cots propped up but she ends up in my bed each night, but this doesn't really help!

Leggytadpole Sun 03-Apr-16 16:18:04

Don't sleep train her, especially at her young age, it's cruel.

It's quite normal for babies to sleep badly, mine was like this and still waking up 3 times a night at two years old. They do grow out of it as they get older. The best thing I did was accept it and stop pulling my hair out trying to change it!

CallMeMousie Sun 03-Apr-16 16:26:56

DS2 is 19 weeks and DS1 is 2 (no teenager though!) and sleep is pretty bad here too so you have my sympathy! We did a little light sleep training with DS1 at about 6 months and built up from there. I agree with pps that 18 weeks is too young. Can your DH share some of the night wakings? If you go to bed at 9 and he takes over until midnight or starts at 5 so you can have a couple of hours it should help (helps me!) Crossing fingers they both grow out of it soon, I'm fed up and ready for a bit more sleep now - 3 hour chunks would be a lovely luxury right now!

Wineandpopcorn Sun 03-Apr-16 16:39:44

It's not a possibility at the moment to share the load currently, unfortunately.

I thought her age would be too young to sleep train, it was actually the paediatrician that advised it though!! I know rationally that it's a no go, I am just so worn out that I honestly don't know how I can continue to function like this.

Sorry for being dramatic hmm.

KP86 Sun 03-Apr-16 16:47:39

Took mine to sleep school (in Aus) at this exact age and it was the best thing we could have done for him and for us. Truly.

Google 'Masada technique' - it's a fairly gentle shhh, pat method that works.

We went from pretty much no day sleeps unless held and terrible overnight sleep to 3 X proper 90 min naps and 12 hours overnight with 1 wake up in five days. He was pretty much sorted after 2 days/1 night.

Wineandpopcorn Sun 03-Apr-16 17:45:49

Did you have to pay for this KP86?

Oysterbabe Sun 03-Apr-16 17:47:57

Yabu, that's too young. The lack of naps will certainly be massively contributing to the issue so I would focus on improving those. Will she sleep if you take her out in the pram?

KP86 Sun 03-Apr-16 17:48:46

It was covered by our private health insurance. Worth around $5000 (£2500) and we paid $25 incidentals charge for the hospital.

Worth every single penny we've ever paid into our insurance.

Chottie Sun 03-Apr-16 17:51:04

No, no, no one thousand times.

Your baby is far too young.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 03-Apr-16 17:54:30

has reflux, but this is controlled with omeprazole

Doesn't sound controlled if she won't sleep lying down. I'd suggest going back to your GP.

Feeches Sun 03-Apr-16 19:33:34

I agree with the daytime nap thing. My dd's sleep went to shit at about 14 weeks. I persevered for weeks getting her to nap every 1.5-2 hours during the day. Did whatever it took: Walks in the pram, car, rocked her in her bouncer chair etc. Naps slowly improved from 25 mins to about 40-60 mins. Once I'd nailed daytime naps, she slept much better at night.

Takes time but it does pass.

JuxtapositionRecords Sun 03-Apr-16 19:47:00

Agree with feeches - over tiredness is the devils work. Try and get her to nap every 1.5 hours whatever it takes. Even if it's just a 20 minute kip.

nephrofox Sun 03-Apr-16 19:49:22

Have you tried a sleepy head? Propped up at the head end to help the reflux

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