My life - like most of yours, I imagine - is very compartmentalised.
There are great things and shit things.
My work is amazing. I love it. I'm appreciated.
I have a DD who I adore. She's who she is, and I love her.
I have a lovely DH, who I find lacking in lots of ways, by he's really proper great in lots of ways too (but omg, the farting!).
I have some lovely friends.
My dad died. It happens to people my age and stage. It was very sad. He got cancer. He thought he could "beat it". He couldn't.
All while he was ill my DB and my mum and I supported him and each other. And when he died, we continued to support each other.
For a year.
Then my DB picked a fight with me and DM. He had a point (he said we'd been bitching, and we had, but not in a nasty way... just families who know and love each other the most commenting on each other). But he honed in on it, and made an argument where there was no argument, and made it nasty.
He went quite mental (which we assumed was a reaction to dad's death, which hit him hard). He ranted, he sent pages and pages of emails, he horded emails he'd been sent and quoted them back. He misunderstood stuff and quoted stuff out of context. He was vicious.
It made mum and I closer, and excluded him. He accused and accused and accused.
My dad's side of the family knew none of this, but mum's side knew all about it. Mum's side ADORE her - she's been a great aunt and sister forever. They find me easy and fun, but find my DB historically difficult. From the outset, mum begged them not to hold it against him or alienate him.
They haven't.
They've tried to be fair.
In all this, I tried to be dignified quiet, but I am gobby, and I have responded (angrily) to tirades, when I shouldn't have done.
The family have, therefore (taking mum's wish on board not to alienate DB) told me I'm as bad as he is, because I have responded angrily to some of the accusations.
Three years later.... DB was then diagnosed with a brain tumour. (benign and operated on successfully).
At which point the whole argument (now 3 years old) is null and void.... DB is just a victim. I am now the perpetrator of an argument I didn't start, didn't want and didn't perpetuate.
None of the extended family is speaking to me, because they're all so sorry for and feeling guilty about DB and the brain tumour.
I don't mean to sound like a cow about my DB and the horrendous thing he is going through. But I'm so upset I've been left as the 'bad guy' for something that is nothing to do with me and not my fault, and I don't know how to come out of it.
Messages of support and love to my DB have been rejected out of hand.
I'm the bad guy in an argument that's not of my making, and I feel that my family have taken against me (or just trying to be neutral and therefore, silent) and I'm being punished for something that's not my fault.
Please help me feel better!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
I'm feeling so let down and alone by my family
25 replies
mastermindfinalist123 · 02/04/2016 00:34
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.