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AIBU?

Aibu to take the in-laws bed for a week?

17 replies

Marsaday · 01/04/2016 09:31

We are off to stay with inlaws next week.
Guest bedroom has the head end of the bed under the eaves, so not possible to sit up in bed.
I am breastfeeding a 9 week old, who is a terrible sleeper due to reflux, so from around 2am i spend the rest of the night sitting up in bed with her upright on me. Staying in bed means i can Doze and stay warm.
As this is impossible at the inlaws i will have to sit on the chair in the room, which is a wooden dining chair. This means that i will undoubtedly be pretty uncomfortable, sleeep deprived and cold.
In-laws have offered us their room for the week for this reason. Their bed is not under the eaves and is a fancy electric one with a head/feet that can be raised by remote control. (no medical reason, they just like it) however, rather than accepting the offer, OH just said "we'll see" when on the phone to his mum.
They would probably sleep a bit less well than usual in the guest room as it's a smaller bed and a foam mattress (gives me backache every time we stay).
OH doesn't seem to want to accept the offer. WIBU to say that he should?

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nilbyname · 01/04/2016 09:32

I think in this case you should take the bed or not go. Or feed the baby in the eaves, then pass to your dh to sit up with the baby on the cold wooden chair. Grin

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JuxtapositionRecords · 01/04/2016 09:33

Well if he doesn't want to accept the offer suggest he sits in the chair holding the baby from 2am. That may change his mind.

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Ifailed · 01/04/2016 09:34

why not rotate the bed so the foot end is under the eves?

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FruStefanOla · 01/04/2016 09:37

As your ILs have been kind enough to offer you their room - and they're obviously thoughtful people, having realised you'll be uncomfortable BFing in the spare bed - your OH should take them up on the offer.

Grin at Juxtaposition's suggestion.

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Ludwsys · 01/04/2016 09:39

I learnt to feed dc's whilst laying down so I didn't have to sit up, it was great.

However, YANBU to take their bed.

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PPie10 · 01/04/2016 09:41

They seem lovely to have thought of this and you should take them up on it. They wouldn't have offered if they didn't want to lend it to you.

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JocastaFarquhar · 01/04/2016 09:49

I think your PIL suggestion is perfect. Ring them up and say thank you very much. If your DH doesn't want to do it, suggest he pack a camp bed and sleeping bag.

Incidentally when we last stayed at the in laws, (they sleep in separate rooms) we were put, with DD in MiL's room (where there are 2 single beds and DD was given a blow up bed) and MIL decamped to the small spare bedroom which housed a single bed. Turns out she swapped the mattresses over from the bed she sleeps on and put, on my bed the spare room mattress which was all made up but she had not removed the plastic cover from the mattress! I was really looking forward to sleeping in a crinkly hot bed. Then DD, aged 3 announced that she did not want to stay over and refused point blank to go to sleep. It got to 1030, but this time DD was hysterical about not wanting to stay so we left and drove the 2.5 hours home. I would have committed some flavour of murder otherwise as PILs were getting judgemental and commenting on my parenting.

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honeylulu · 01/04/2016 09:53

FGS take the bed! Your in laws sound lovely. Your OH probably feels uncomfortable about ousting them from their room but 1. They offered. 2. They will have a bed to sleep in. 3. He's not the one who'd spend half the night trying to sleep on a bloody chair!

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Goingtobeawesome · 01/04/2016 09:53

Take the PIL bed. Just you and the baby....

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LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 01/04/2016 09:59

Grin Juxtaposition my thoughts exactly!

Of course you should take the offer. It's not like you're leaving them to sleep on the floor.

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leelu66 · 01/04/2016 10:00

I third Juxtaposition's suggestion.

Does he not realise how difficult it is for you?

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Spandexpants007 · 01/04/2016 10:02

Ring/text/email and accept the offer. Then tell DH what you have done. He really can't expect you to spend your nights on a dining room chair.

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rainbowstardrops · 01/04/2016 10:08

I agree with Jux. Either accept their kind offer or give DH baby from 2am. Smile

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flingingmelon · 01/04/2016 10:11

I'd accept the offer. They're trying to help. It's lovely of them. Your DH is being a bit Hmm

Can you just work round him?

If he feels like you are being entitled he can make himself feel better by doing all the washing up!

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yomellamoHelly · 01/04/2016 10:12

Accept their offer yourself. Your dh is being ridiculous.

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parmalilac · 01/04/2016 10:44

They seem very considerate and you should call them to accept - they will need a little time to prepare for the temporary move after all. Surely they will be ok in the guest room for a week, after all we sleep in different beds when we go on holiday!

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Marsaday · 01/04/2016 13:30

Can't move bed in room as there is a built jn wardrobe which is in the way. Could turn bed around but it has no headboard so would have nothing to lean against when sitting.
In fairness OH has offered to sit up with the baby, and he does do this at home when not working the next day, but how long he can do it for is limited by his lack of boobs Wink
I think maybes he feels weird about sleeping in his parents bed.

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