to breastfeed without a cover in front of my family?

(64 Posts)
MOB247 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:31:57

I currently have a 5mo old ebf baby.

I normally cover up whenever I'm out and about feeding my baby because I'm really self conscious but when I'm at home with my family and especially my sisters I feel comfortable to not use a cover.

Today my sister has really upset me (I don't think she meant to) by saying that she finds it weird when I breastfeed and she doesn't like seeing it! She and her partner are currently ttc and she won't consider bf.

I am now wondering if my whole family feel the same way and don't really want to cover when I go to my parents or my sisters house! But I now feel like I will be on eggshells every time my baby needs feeding!

Should I continue on as normal ?? Would I be being unreasonable to do this? Or go to a separate room or use a cover?

Should I ask my family if they're comfortable with it? I just assumed they would be rightly or wrongly!

miraclebabyplease Thu 31-Mar-16 18:35:06

Your sister is odd! If you feel comfortable then carry on. You can't see much apart from the back of the baby's head anyway.

witsender Thu 31-Mar-16 18:35:49

Well, if she finds it odd then she can move, can't she.

Oddity.

RupertPupkin Thu 31-Mar-16 18:36:11

Buy a cover. When you BF, put it over your sister's head.

Helmetbymidnight Thu 31-Mar-16 18:36:46

I never used a cover.

People get used to it.

Sprog19 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:38:35

Oh my goodness. I couldn't have been doing with this at home! I think you need to ask your sister politely to go elsewhere if she can't cope. If it's her house I guess you can't do that - but def in your own

KathySelden Thu 31-Mar-16 18:38:37

Personally I would tell her to F Off and that I feel she is wierd not to breast feed, what a judgy mcjudgy pants!

Crabbitface Thu 31-Mar-16 18:39:00

Continue as normal. Your sister is BVU. Tell her and anyone else who doesn't like it to grow up and get a grip. If it bothers her that much she can go elsewhere. If she's trying to conceive, it could be good old fashioned jealousy. But still no excuse to shame you when you are feeding your child.

MoreGilmoreGirls Thu 31-Mar-16 18:39:12

Agree with Rupert, she's quite rude to say anything. I did not cover up in general though if was out in public i would try to be discreet. It's a baby eating. Tell her to get a grip.

coughingbean Thu 31-Mar-16 18:41:16

Rupert, that's brilliant! grin

Flisspaps Thu 31-Mar-16 18:41:47

YANBU.

DS fought like Billy-o when I tried a cover with him, and he was a sweaty baby - even if I'd wanted to use one after that it wouldn't have been possible.

Chocolatteaddict1 Thu 31-Mar-16 18:42:20

It's not you op it's her!

icklekid Thu 31-Mar-16 18:42:23

I didn't use a cover and only person (both out and at home) who ever looked uncomfortable was BIL. To be fair he never said anything just left room/didn't come in. I didn't mind other than thinking he was silly (2 much older children of his own!) But it didn't affect what I did!

AnnaMarlowe Thu 31-Mar-16 18:42:51

I breastfed twins for nearly 18 months and never used a cover.

My family and friends were all aware I was breastfeeding- anyone uncomfortable with it was perfectly welcome to leave but I made it clear to my PIL that I wouldn't be hiding away in my own home or making my babies feed under a cloth.

My entire extended family, friends, HV and the postman all saw rather more than they might have been comfy with.

I was a great fan in the vest down tshirt up system for feeding out and about so there was rarely much to be seen.

HarlotBronte Thu 31-Mar-16 18:42:57

Course not. Breastfeed in whatever location you like and wearing whatever you please. Those are your rights. Your family are entitled to have whatever feelings they like about it, and to move away if they don't want to be around it. Those are their rights. You're not overstepping your rights, but your sister is. So she's the one in the wrong, not you.

Don't tell her you think she's weird not to breastfeed as a poster upthread suggested though, that would just make you a dick too.

CigarsofthePharoahs Thu 31-Mar-16 18:43:02

I also agree with Rupert.
I ebf my second and it was much easier without a cover, so when not in a public space, I didn't use one. If a member of my family felt awkward, they were free to leave or at least not look.

grapejuicerocks Thu 31-Mar-16 18:44:10

I was a bit embarrassed in front of fil to begin with, but did it regardless. YANBU

SylviaWrath Thu 31-Mar-16 18:45:47

she finds it weird when I breastfeed and she doesn't like seeing it!

Tell her not to look then. I'm so sick of comments like "nobody wants to see that in public blah blah blah"....well just don't look! There are other directions you can point your eyes rather than at someone breastfeeding, ffs.
The fecking cheek of people who stare at you and then complain about what they are staring at. Twats.

Helenluvsrob Thu 31-Mar-16 18:50:53

Agree it's her not you !

I breast fed anywhere and everywhere before the invention of the " cover" . Felt a bit odd in front of FIL with number one but we both soon got used to it and he's bring me drink when I was there without even being asked just a quiet " must be thirsty business " the back to his book or tv program.

honeylulu Thu 31-Mar-16 18:53:26

My token response would be "if you don't like the view, don't look. "

BathTangle Thu 31-Mar-16 18:54:18

Show your sister this video...points out the hypocrisy beautifully!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOEHRsRIodI

expatinscotland Thu 31-Mar-16 19:01:26

Tell her to turn her head away then. She's fucking weird.

ISaySteadyOn Thu 31-Mar-16 19:05:38

m.youtube.com/watch?v=-dw2XHMUnyE

Show her this. If nothing else, she'll have it stuck in her head all day. Evil grin

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Thu 31-Mar-16 19:07:56

Yes to buying a cover and putting it over your sisters head!

Sibvu, youshould continue as you have been and tell her to excuse herself if it bothers her but you, baby, and everyone else will be staying put

Zaurak Thu 31-Mar-16 19:12:29

Buy a cover certainly
Then pass it to your sister so she can cover her fucking eyes.

seriously, it's them with the problem. When I'm at home i just whip a boob out. When I'm out and about I'm a fan of the vest down top up method, which keeps passers by from being blinded by my glaring white flesh. I'm not grappling with a cover as well as the thrashing whirlwind octopus I have for a baby... I live in Sweden and never, ever have I been the recipient of negative attention for feeding in public.

There may well be deeper issues here related to her ttc and perhaps not succeeding and you bring so obviously successful. I'd handle it tactfully but firmly, and do the whole "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's natural, it's my choice and you don't have to look."

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