Have just been to DS(6) parents' night. He was showing me some of his work and they have a book in which they write what they did at the weekend. DS' was just page after page of the same thing- "I played minecraft on my playstation".
According to his teacher lots of the class talk about Minecraft, but one week, in an attempt to make them think outside the box she "banned" news about Minecraft. In reaction to this DS burst into tears because that was all he did.
We do other things at the weekends; visit family, go for walks, the beach, shopping, playing with lego and occassionally do something like soft play or a run in the car to an adventure park or similar but I admit he is allowed on the playstation a fair bit.
Apparrently he has been unhappy and tearful/emotional at school for a few weeks but has either told us nothing is bothering him or that he doesn't want to tell.
Teacher says he is doing really well academically, is kind and well behaved. His report says that he is being a good friend to his peers at school, is very creative and progressing well. If im honest I was quite surprised to read how well he has come on as he struggled through nursery and has had to work hard on his focus/ concentration.
I was so proud after reading his report vut after meeting with the teacher tonight I feel like I must be failing him somewhere is he is so upset at school he is crying and sometimes just withdrawn/reluctant to work. Generally speaking he isn't much of a crier and has always been more prone to angry outburts than getting sad or upset like that.
I know that the obvious thing is to reduce the time on his playstation and encourage him to focus more on the other things we do but I just feel like I must be doing something fundamentally really wrong for him to be so sad that he cries at school.
His teachers are fantastic and have always been encouraging and positive about him but I just felt like they must think I plonk him in front of a screen permanently and ignore him.
He is so young he shouldn't have worries or burdens that make him this upset as an ongoing thing but he says that nothing is making him sad, no-one is being horrible to him etc. etc.
AIBU?
To feel like a shit mum
HairSlide · 31/03/2016 01:40
I always remember my mum going to my DBro's parents evening. In every single page of his book he had written. "I watched TV. We ate chips."
The teacher pointed out that she'd tried to get him to be more inventive but he'd just said "there is nothing else. That's all I do." My mum was mortified, not least because we had a roast dinner every weekend and did lots of fun things, so it was entirely fictitious. When she challenged him he just said "it's easy to write." 
So it could well be that your DS, when told he couldn't write about minecraft, cried just because of the pressure of writing something unfamiliar, thinking it up, working out new spellings. These are big things at 6. In other words, the stress is with school and not home.
It sounds to me as though, despite doing well, he finds school stressful at times, as do many children at this age. Negotiating rules, name calling, work expectations, friendships, they all take time and maturity. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it because if he's happy at home I'd say it's not home. Let him relax at home and don't worry. Teachers have seen it all before and don't believe everything they read. But keep in touch over the crying at school and see if the teacher can get to the root of what is going on there. It may just be that it will settle as he gets older.
He might be tired I suppose, he has afterschool clubs, childminder and swimming through the week but he honestly doesn't seem tired at all. He races round the park after school and doesn't seem lacking in energy, even in the evenings he doesn't come across as tired and he sleeps well and eats plenty.
We are in Scotland so school system isnt as pressurised as it is further South and I know that they have different strategies for children who learn at different paces- its a small village school and they are very good at supporting the children without pressurising them to "catch up" with other members of the class.
I really can't praise the school and his teachers enough which is why I think it must be me 
sounds like he might be anxious, I have a dc like this, it always stems from something at school. It's difficult if he won't tell you who/what.
If it's any consolation my dc always says she's been playing with her toys when asked this question, even if we've done loads of other stuff! One of the reasons is because being at home with her toys is where she feels safest (she has said), perhaps your ds feels similar being at home playing minecraft? Please don't feel bad, you're not a shit mum 
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You don't sound like a shit mum to me at all. If you are having trouble feeling connected to him, you could try doing a little bit of “child-led play” or “descriptive commenting” with him each day. They are hard work but you don’t need to do very much (half an hour of child-led play or 10 minutes of descriptive commenting) and they can still be rewarding for him. I started to do these with my DS and it helped us feel closer.
Child-led play is just, he decides exactly what to play and how to play it, and you follow along. He can mess with rules and always win if it’s a game with rules; if it’s a fantasy he says what is happening and you act along, if he says you’re a dinosaur then you crawl and roar. If it’s creative he chooses what to make and how to make it and what it is, and he can change his mind every minute if he likes. The thing is that you let him lead and you let him make all the decisions; and you don’t offer any suggestions or advice or comments. If he asks you to decide then ask “what do you think?” or “what would you like?” and just go with it. Let there be no right or wrong, apart from anything really dangerous or destructive of course. You just join on and do whatever he tells you to do. You tell him when his "special playtime” starts and when it ends, so he knows he isn’t always in charge!
The other thing you can do is “descriptive commenting”. You sit with him and just act as a commentator on what he is doing, using a friendly voice. You don’t ask questions (what is that, why are you doing that) or offer any value judgments (no praise and no criticism) You just say what you see. If he asks what you are doing you can say “I am interested in how you play” So if he was painting you can say “you have picked up the big brush, you are painting a thick blue line, you are dipping the brush in water, you are choosing another colour, you are thinking hard, will it be yellow, no it’s red, you are painting a red circle”. Again let him be in charge, so wait for him to tell you what the painting is about because it’s easy for us to get it wrong, and don’t worry if he doesn’t bother to clean the brush between colours. It sounds a bit mad and it’s quite tiring so I found 10 minutes a day was plenty but my DS absolutely lapped it up. You could do it while your DS is playing Minecraft. I used to get DS to do his homework that way!
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