To refuse sex with DH until he learns hygiene

(79 Posts)
Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:32:34

Ok so I love my DH but his personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired and it actually turns my stomach. He washes his hear every couple of days but I can't remember the last time he actually bathed or showered! He doesn't smell or anything but his breathe does. He doesn't clean his teeth from one day to the next and can literally go days until I flip as I have a really sensitive sense of smell.
I have tried gentle reminded etc but I have 3 kids and refuse to chase him round everyday but the smell is vulgar! Is it unreasonable to actually tell him I won't kiss or consider sex until this improves

Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:32:48

Hair not hear

Justmuddlingalong Wed 30-Mar-16 16:34:34

Is this a new thing or has his personal hygiene always been lacking?

pinkyredrose Wed 30-Mar-16 16:35:23

Yuk that is vulgar! Surely he wasn't like this when you married him!? I certainly wouldn't be able to have sex or kiss him. YANBU!

expatinscotland Wed 30-Mar-16 16:36:14

I always wonder if such people were always such mingers and if so, how on Earth did they get a shag in the first place? Boak.

ohmywhatamisaying Wed 30-Mar-16 16:36:35

"I love you my DH but your personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired and it actually turns my stomach"

Does he know it bothers you, ie, have you actually said the above, or just dropped (maybe too subtle) hints?

Sometimes people need to be told clearly. If your DH is turning your stomach with his smell, then that doesn't sound like a great recipe for a happy continuing marriage..

Good luck

Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:36:55

When we first got together it wasn't an issue but once he moved it I noticed it more and more. I ignore him cleaning his ears with my kitty grips and leaving them everywhere filed with wax but he is getting worse we are currently on day 4 with the no teeth cleaning

molyholy Wed 30-Mar-16 16:37:28

How does he wash his hair without getting a shower? Sounds like it would be just easier to jump in the shower. Is he depressed or something as this just doesn't seem right.

SanityClause Wed 30-Mar-16 16:37:44

I'm just amazed you have managed to have sex with him the three times it took to have the DC with him, frankly!

Just let him know how it makes you feel - repulsed and disrespected, maybe? - and ask him please to pay more attention to his personal hygiene, particularly his teeth.

(Incidentally, I'm amazed his body doesn't smell if he doesn't bathe at all. Are you sure?)

Tanfastic Wed 30-Mar-16 16:38:21

You tell him to clean his teeth every day and shower every day and use deodorant or you will leave him. Simple.

Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:38:22

I am not subtle in any way and have been blunt about the smell and I can smell from his breath he hasn't cleaned his teeth so won't sit next to him but nothing changes and it's really starting to grate on me!

molyholy Wed 30-Mar-16 16:38:57

Ewww. He sounds gross. I wouldn't want his penis anywhere near me.

liberatedwine Wed 30-Mar-16 16:40:20

Ew. I couldn't be affectionate, let alone intimate, with someone with such hygiene issues.

But if his lack of cleanliness is a new thing, could he be unwell? Depressed perhaps?

flirtygirl Wed 30-Mar-16 16:44:08

Nasty nasty and nasty
2nd dirty husband thread of the day that ive read, starting to think lesbians are on to a great thing

expatinscotland Wed 30-Mar-16 16:44:12

So he moved in and you noticed he was a vile minger but you still married him and shagged him? I'm actually astonished.

expatinscotland Wed 30-Mar-16 16:46:25

Oh, here we go with the depressed/autistic/MH problems, etc. This guy's been a minger for a while. He moved in and you noticed it because he was living your kitty grips coated with his ear wax and then you went on to marry him.

Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:11

He wasn't anywhere near as bad when we first got together and as I worked away a lot I didn't really notice but the last 6 months I am literally pulling my hair out as idiot even understand how anyone can feel ready in the morning without cleaning there teeth.
He washes his hair over the bath a lot and a couple of times recently I have accidently walked in to see if he is over the bath or actually in the shower

Topseyt Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:20

I really would have to tell him bluntly.

Shower properly every day, at least change underwear every day, use deodorant.

Clean teeth twice a day.

I would feel awful doing it, but really couldn't put up with the smell.

Tiggywinkler Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:45

Frankly, YWBU to shag him.

Buy him a loofah and some Dettol soap.

dottycat123 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:47:57

This is not normal, his genitals must stink, definitely refuse sex until he cleans up.

Roseberrry Wed 30-Mar-16 16:48:06

Oh gross. Has he always been like this? Could he be depressed?

I would refuse to go anywhere near him until he cleans like a normal person. I've had a really bad experience with a smelly man though and vowed never to go back. I went to go down and found it covered in cheese <vom> never been with a stinker since!

ohmywhatamisaying Wed 30-Mar-16 16:48:07

"DH, you smell like an anchovy's unwashed arse - sort it out, ta."

Mousedl1 Wed 30-Mar-16 16:49:25

I DO not go down Roseberry for this very reason with him. He changes underwear everyday

BastardGoDarkly Wed 30-Mar-16 16:49:25

Firstly, what are kitty grips?

Secondly, no, no and thrice no fucking way could I put up with 4 days of rank breath.

Wtf is his problem?

MrsUnderwood Wed 30-Mar-16 16:49:30

Gross!

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