Aibu to ignore symptoms because of MIL comments?

(25 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 17:48:08

First of all I actually get on really well with MIL so I rarely get upset by her!

By recently (last 4 months)I have been ill a lot more than normal but with little things - first pneumonia then tonsilitis then flu. Each episode requiring hospital treatment. My youngest dd has also been in hospital twice with two chest infections.

Each time I have had to call dhs family for help as either dh is stuck with the older children or just
Unreachable at work. They have always been fantastic and I have really appreciated it.

But last time (three weeks ago my youngest admitted from gp to a and e then ward for iv antibiotics). My MIL made a big thing of "not again" "don't start this again" "they will be sick of you" and it made me feel like I was taking up the time of the hospital for no reason.

Every time I have been in and each time my dd has been in we have needed iv antibiotics , when I have been each time they have transferred me to "resus" ( I have learned about a and e!) so the logical part of me says they don't do that if they think you don't need it but I just feel embarrassed about the amount of help we have needed.

For background I am 32 and healthy generally, before the first bout if illness I had never needed hospital treatment other than for having my babie. I had never been to a and e , never been in an ambulance. I have 5 older children than dd onky used and ambulance once when one of my Dds choked (on scrambled egg hmm). No a and e visits other than that.

I do suffer with anxiety and depression but not really health anxiety too much ! And before this illness I probably visits my gp once or twice a year and that was pretty much about the anxiety and depression!

I now have a cough, a bubbly chest and I feel like breathing deeply is more work - Believe it or not I had no cough or breathless feeling with the pneumonia.

However, I know that anxiety causes a feeling of breathlessness . My gp has given me an inhaler which hasn't helped.

Since MIL made her comments I feel like I am a waste of space at the surgery and I pretty much refuse to go back.

I am thinking that this is just a cough and that the breathlessness is anxiety- if it wasn't I feel like the inhaler would help. My dh thinks I am being unreasonable and shouldn't care how many appointments I take up! But I feel like i should.

Aibu to ignore these symptoms until my next review in two weeks.

Notagainmun Sun 27-Mar-16 17:52:53

Go to GO and tell him your symptoms also remind him of your anxiety and your MILs words. Hopefully he will reassure you.

BlueCheeseandcrackers Sun 27-Mar-16 18:00:21

Go back!! Blimey each time you have been admitted for Iv antibiotics - you must have been really poorly!!! Ignore the comments! I hope you feel better soon!! flowers

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 18:04:11

Argh I just feel so embarrassed going back especially as I'm just going with a cough which everyone says you should t go for. blush

Topseyt Sun 27-Mar-16 18:09:39

Ignore your MIL and go back.

Incidentally, none of the illnesses you have mentioned are minor things. Don't be embarrassed.

Marynary Sun 27-Mar-16 18:10:37

I'm sure that nobody thinks you are wasting hospital time, including your MIL. More likely she is just feeling stressed and upset about her family being ill and is vocalising it in a really tactless way. I would try to forget her comments if you can. Whatever you do please don't ignore symptoms in the future.

Queenie73 Sun 27-Mar-16 18:30:40

You didn't admit yourself or your child to hospital, doctors did that. They didn't do that for no reason. Go and get checked, I'm sure a recent history of pneumonia would mean your GP would want you to, to make sure it isn't anything serious.
Either it's nothing and your GP will be happy to reassure you, or it's something and leaving it will only make it worse.

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 18:32:41

Thanks. Is there no way for me to tell at home if my breathlessness is due to anxiety or actual illness? I can't go to the gp until Tuesday anyway with the bank holiday.

I was given the inhaler for the morning when the wheezy feeling was worse but could I try it now to see if it helps ?

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 18:35:25

Thanks queenie - no I was pretty shocked to be admitted myself - less shocked with my dd as I felt she was really unwell.

I think I have developed a fear of using health services (the opposite of health anxiety ?!grin)

summerainbow Sun 27-Mar-16 18:57:24

I think what your MIL is saying that she fed up with helping you . You need to spend the load you have 6 kids which is lot . So need to call on your own famliy or dh and older kids to help more . Or freinds . If you need help getting to a any e you need to call 999 or taxi.

BestZebbie Sun 27-Mar-16 19:01:11

Anxiety can cause tightness in the chest/feeling that you can't expand your chest properly, but it doesn't cause bubbly wheezy rasping noises - that would be some sort of lung problem.

StarlingMurmuration Sun 27-Mar-16 19:08:43

Go back to your GP. It's possible to die of pneumonia - my brother, an otherwise healthy 37 year old, did. Ignore your mother-in-law, or ask your DH to have words.

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 19:24:06

Sorry summer I should have clarified we have not asked her to look after the kids for any length of time just until dh arrives home from work! He is self employed and so has worked at home all the time he has been needed for childcare

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 19:25:10

And I have no family of my own they died young or are very distant

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 19:51:49

I am sorry about your brother starling flowers

StarlingMurmuration Sun 27-Mar-16 20:00:38

Thanks, Sothis. It's very rare but it does happen - a friend died of Swine Flu a couple of years before because it turned into pneumonia, and another had the Last Rites administered before managing to pull through, so it's something that preys on my mind.

LeanneBattersby Sun 27-Mar-16 20:15:49

Have you been tested for swine flu? It sounds just like that from my own experience of the illness. I'd suspect all of your chest / throat problems are connected and you need to get to the bottom of it. Go back to the doc and ignore your MIL.

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 20:19:12

Hi yes I had a swab last time I was in hospital that showed flu but I had iv antibiotics and felt a lot better after a couple of weeks this chest issue has been sort of new since then?

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe Sun 27-Mar-16 20:35:08

Op you need to go back to your GP, you really can't let some thoughtless comments from MIL stop you from taking care of your health. She probably didn't mean anything by it and even if she did, so what? I bet any GP who has had a patient hospitalised a number of times in the recent past would want that person to err on the side of caution and make an appointment!

EveryoneElsie Sun 27-Mar-16 20:37:11

Not being able to breathe easily is a good enough reason to ring 101! Ignore the comments, you've had a run of bad luck. Please, phone 101 and let them check you over.

Bobcat15 Sun 27-Mar-16 20:44:07

Do not put your health at risk because of what others think. I work in a hospital and this year has been crazy with respiratory illnesses in the community. We've been overwhelmed with various flu strains and our ICU is currently full to capacity with flu patients. It's just been a really really bad year for these viruses and unfortunately, like many many others, you are succumbing to them too. Take care, OP.

MyAmDeryCross Sun 27-Mar-16 21:06:37

Unless MIL is a GP I would ignore her

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 21:14:35

If I still feel dodgy on Tuesday I will ask for a telephone appointment.

I have been seeing my gp every two weeks and I had a blood test last week because last time I was in there was some problem with my kidney or something from being ill. I assume it now fine!
I also had to go in a separate time because for some wonderful reason the skin all around my eyes started to bleed and apparently for the first time in my life I now have excema - and just my luck lately it decided to affect my eyes of all places angry

I am actually in quite a panic thinking about going to the gp because I haven't had a very pleasant experience being admitted the last twice. Apparently I had sepsis with the last two admissions and it was pretty stressful having wha seemed like half of a and e stabbing me with needles and pulling at my clothes and blanket!
(Disclaimer - I know they are just doing their job!)

Well DH has just practically force fed me the inhaler I have - I was given it for mornings and being a stickler for rules I have stuck to mornings. But dh isn't so rule based!

It helped immediately although the tightness is returning a little! Hopefully it will be ok overnight now though

sleeponeday Sun 27-Mar-16 21:14:48

Sorry for your losses, Starling.

OP, hospitals are very aware that over-prescribing of antibiotics has caused a world of problems. If you get antibiotics from them, you need them. If they are IV antibiotics, they are really concerned about what might happen if you don't get them PDQ, because IVs carry more risks than tablets or capsules for obvious reasons, as well as costing a lot more.

Your MIL should pipe down and start showing sympathy. You've all been bloody unwell from the sounds of it. Hope the warmer weather ends this.

Sothisishowitfeels Sun 27-Mar-16 21:33:56

I hope so too sleep! I am sick of the site of doctors! (Although I'm sure they are lovely people grin and they do know how to make you feel better with the drugs and their oxygen and what not !)

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