Aibu to think the dog is destroying my friends relationships

(15 Posts)
Catvsworld Sun 27-Mar-16 12:03:08

Well just what the title says really

My very kind lovey friend had a dog was very old quite quite sadly it died 3 months ago

I know it's sound awful but eveyone around her was relived

It's used to cause loads of arguments with her and her partner as they could never go away together unless she could find Somone to loo after the dog not even over night witch meant she couldn't stay at his very often

Her other friend was constaly being asked to look after the said dog so for instance when she went away to Spain the friend had to stay with her two kids at my friends home because the bog needed letting out to poo ect and I think it' was becoming a strain between them

Andy WAy last month she got a new do with none was really very happy with but its her life I don't really like dogs but the other dog was old so just sort of say there really

However the new dog is a puppy a staff is very lively and my daughter is scared stiff she wet her self the last time we were there so I think with a heavy hart I won't really be able to take her to visit her auntie any more

My friend is kind , sweet and very lovey but as far as I can see her having a dog is really effecting the relationships she is having

Also her ex who promised to pay the vet bills as the dog is for the kids is now saying he can't afford the extra of a dog on top of paying for the kids she got the dog on the understanding he would help out

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 12:07:35

Errrm you're entitled to your opinion, as long as you don't expect her to care about it confused

WRT your DD's fear of dogs, that's a completely separate issue and one for you to help her with.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sun 27-Mar-16 12:13:32

But your friend has kids, right? Who was looking after the kids whilst the friend wanted to stay with the partner?

Did the partner not like dogs? Struggling to see why having a dog would be any more of an impediment to a relationship than kids. confused

She needs to find a partner who likes dogs, a dog friendly hotel (apparently these are growing in number) and/or arrange kennels for her dog if friends aren't willing to babysit.

Lurkedforever1 Sun 27-Mar-16 12:18:26

What you really mean is you don't want her to have a dog because you aren't a dog person. So Yabu and not much of a friend.

How would you feel if she started a thread saying your dd was ruining your friendship because you have passed on your dislike of dogs?

And as an animal person, I couldn't care less if it potentially ruins relationships. Because anyone who actually is worth having a relationship with would never expect you to sacrifice something you love because they don't feel the same.

milkbottle Sun 27-Mar-16 12:20:42

Of course she needs someone to look after her dog...You can't leave a dog home alone for a week!

Catvsworld Sun 27-Mar-16 12:31:28

Her kids stay her mum or they often stay over with her at his he is a widower
And has kids himself around the same age but o think he was glad to be at the end of having to book there holidays and nights away when Somone is able to have the dog.

And I also think I can't be sure as I don't have a dog but the pool of people willing to watch her children with in her family for a weekend is a lot bigger than the pool willing to look after the dog espically as you have to sit round her house or go there a few times a day to walk it and let it out to poo

Tbh my daughter was fine with the other dog she had as it was old and didn't really do much but as this is a puppy is very excitable she is finding it very stressful being at her home she really enjoyed going to see her auntie as I said my friend is lovey
But now it's becoming difficult

Tbh when she told me she wS getting a puppy I didn't say anything my expectation was that it would be similar to the other dogs as I don't really no much about puppy's

The reason why she asked me my views because both her partner and her other friend had told her it wasn't a good idea

It means that her other friend and her cant go away together as she is the only one who will have the dog that's why she's miffed

Catvsworld Sun 27-Mar-16 12:33:30

poster Lurkedforever1

Tbh I think most 2 year olds who don't have animals in there home would find a dog jumping up and barking at. Them very scary

ilovesooty Sun 27-Mar-16 12:37:33

Just stop going to see her then. She can have a dog without deferring to you.

Aeroflotgirl Sun 27-Mar-16 12:40:11

Yabvvu, its her decision to have a dog, and up to you to take your dd to visit her or not. Mabey she could come to yours without the dog. People have a responsibility to say no to her, if they cannot look after her dog, so she will have to put it in kennels if she goes away.

Lurkedforever1 Sun 27-Mar-16 12:44:18

cats ime most aren't when their parents are fine with dogs. But that's not my point, I'm not objecting to your dd being nervous. Just pointing out that you are bu to object to her choice on that basis, because you wouldn't like it if she blamed the friendships breakdown on your dd being scared.

WorraLiberty Sun 27-Mar-16 12:51:56

Well I know I'd prefer my dog to other people's 2 year olds visiting me.

I don't understand why you're even mentioning your kid in this context.

She'll have to see her outside of the home if she finds a puppy too scary.

MrsMushrooms Sun 27-Mar-16 12:54:45

YABU, having a dog does mean looking after it and not leaving it alone. It sounds like you're just not a dog person and don't like that your friend has one... But tough! Nout to do with you.

imeatingthechocolate Sun 27-Mar-16 13:10:05

sounds like your friend isn't much of a dog person either if she constantly needs support with the dog? surely its a case of her dog > her responsibilities?

DiseasesOfTheSheep Sun 27-Mar-16 13:21:38

Good lord, I'd rather have my hounds than anybody else's two year old in my house.

And as for her arrangements for it - you're not obliged to look after it, but if someone else is happy to, that's up to them. If they aren't, all they have to do is say no, and she will have to pay for that service. Her dog, her arrangements, her business.

MeadowHay Sun 27-Mar-16 13:28:33

How is the dog "destroying" her relationships? Isn't that a bit over dramatic? hmm

I agree that YABU, you just don't seem to like the dog. You should be teaching your child how to act around the puppy and helping her to increase her confidence and not blaming the dog for being a dog. Her fear of the puppy is probably from you!

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