I get direct payments for dcs (4)
Seemed like a great idea.At first. Actually it turns out it's a huge hassle because
- Finding activities has been a PITA as so many people/classes wouldn't allow dcs to join (complete discrimination which I've dealt with) so that was draining and upsetting
- Could not get a carer from an agency as they couldn't provide the same person reliably who was trained in relevant things. As a result I had to employ a family member which seemed the best idea at the time
- The paperwork. Horrendous amounts of work x4. Opening 4 current accounts, printing receipts, printing bank statements, putting everything in order, writing cheques and then the payroll stuff as I'm registered as an employer. Filling time sheets etc etc just everything added to my workload in general. I have four dcs to look after, have to fit in so much already-Appts, driving lessons etc, it was just too much.
I decided I needed to reduce my workload and stress so decided that I wouldn't continue to employ family member as a carer due to the work involved with being an employer as also because the local carers agency now has a bank of care workers and told me they could guarantee a regular person and all I'd need to do was send a cheque-they do all the paperwork etc.
this did not go down well. Big huge upset was caused as she relies on the income hugely apparently and is very upset and angry with me. Then other family members got involved asking me to reconsider. I feel bad as she obviously really needed the money but I need to prioritise my mental health and I've been overwhelmed by paperwork ( I also have things to do like blue badge renewals, dla renewals, bursary renewals throughout the year too so always something needs doing).
I explained that I've struggled to keep up with the paperwork as its meant that when dcs are being looked after and I'm meant to have a break I'm actually doing paperwork so it cancels out the help. The employer work is the time consuming stuff and I need to reduce what I'm having to do. I explained how tired iam yet when dcs in bed I'm printing stuff off and doing paperwork. I also have difficulties with maths so the pay side of things has been hard. For my sanity it's better to not continue with that part. I've also been really unwell with a thyroid issue so I'm just completely exhausted all the time.
Nobody will accept this. Feeling guilty I said to family member that although I'm stopping the employment part through the direct payments I would still offer some hours babysitting for same rate of pay if that would help (and I'd just pay out of my own money) not good enough apparently unless I guarantee the same hours or continue doing it as we are now.
Have I been U? I've just got to the point where I'm exhausted and need to claw back some time for myself somehow. It was suggested I cut back on my driving lessons but I can't as I need to pass so badly and I don't want to reduce them just to sit doing paperwork!