to wonder if any of you have had social services involved after an accidental injury?

(64 Posts)
MigraineMartie Thu 24-Mar-16 07:50:47

Title says it all really
Just wondering as although our involvement was a long time ago and very short lived it still upsets me when I think about it - anyone else?

newmumwithquestions Thu 24-Mar-16 08:12:56

Yes. It makes my blood boil just thinking about what they were like. Ours wasn't an accidental injury, it was a small birth mark on my newborn baby that was called into them as it looked a bit like a bruise. Not SS fault they were called but totally their fault the way they treated us and have had absolute refusal that they would do anything differently in the future. SS didn't follow their own procedures (didn't arrange paediatric consultant check to confirm what it was) but instead decided to storm in and put protection measures in place. I have letters from midwife and GP confirming that they told the social services that (a) they didn't think the mark was a bruise (midwife) and (b) that they did not think baby had been harmed or was at risk from harm (GP). There is nothing in our history of anything that would cause concern (I've been police checked in the past to work with kids) and I had a 'textbook pregnancy with a wanted baby' where I had 'taken great care to ensure the pregnancy progressed well' (my notes, think that basically means I went to my antenatal appts and didn't smoke/drink etc).

They were truly hideous and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I'd always been pretty respectful that some people have to do a difficult job under difficult circumstances and that in general people in authority are trying to help. Now I'm suspicious of what anyone's motives are.

If it isn't too painful/personal, was your experience?

Crazypetlady Thu 24-Mar-16 08:51:12

I worry about this. I've phoned nhs direct Wales twice this week as ds 9 months has a sickness bug. I know it's not accidental injury but because they take the name and address and log it I just worry. It's irrational. But I did phone when ds fell off the sofa and there was no so involvement.

Crazypetlady Thu 24-Mar-16 08:52:46

Ss

Genx77 Thu 24-Mar-16 08:53:31

I was worried about this, 3 trips to a&e in 6 months but never heard anything from SS

firesidechat Thu 24-Mar-16 09:06:18

We had a cut head, mild concussion and a broken wrist and no ss involvement.

I don't count the later ones because the children were teenagers and they were sports related.

firesidechat Thu 24-Mar-16 09:07:10

The cut, concussion and wrist were all on separate occasions and involved a visit to a and e.

IceMaiden73 Thu 24-Mar-16 09:10:28

Yes my friends son broke his leg and had SS involvement as she didn't know how he had done it

I wouldn't take it personally they are just trying to protect children, and for every 100 that don't lead anywhere there is always that chance that 1 trip will save a child's life x

hellsbells99 Thu 24-Mar-16 09:10:40

3 visits to A&E when DD1 was 1, resulted in a phone call and home visit from my health visitor but no SS.

JoffreyBaratheon Thu 24-Mar-16 09:10:52

There's been police and SS involvement with our neighbours - but still they get two very young kids left alone with them, despite some obviously overwhelming problems. My own kids have often had to listen to them calling their 3 and 5 year olds things you 'c!$t', 'little shit', 'retard' etc and have heard a few incidents that sound like someone being slammed against something, then a child cries. (And yes we called the SS/police/contacted the NSPCC).

Last summer, another neighbour overheard an incident where the 3 year old got burned when they were BBQing. And rather than rush the child to hospital, she says they were arguing loudly for ten minutes whose fault it was - the man trying to blame the woman and vice versa, presumably so they'd have the story straight at A & E. My neighbour thought, from what she heard, it was an accident but we did wonder if the kids might finally get taken into care after it (parents are permanently pissed/drugged up so even an 'accident' might point to negligence, esepcially with people with form). But no. The SS signed them off ages ago and no-one even seems to have been remotely suspicious even when the child was burned.

So in the context of an otherwise uneventful family with no prior form, no relationship with the coppers and the SS - I think the days of the SS charging in and running off with your kids are long gone. Seeing as they seem to leave actually abused kids in situ, now.

My worst one was when my 4th son stuck his toe into the piping hot tap when he was in the bath and got a nasty burn on his big toe. It happened right at the time his birth dad was dragging me through the courts for residency and trying to prove I was a crap parent and the kids ad a guardian ad litem, who was a social worker, as part of the court process. Totally nothing happened. Ex never got to hear of the accident, and everyone was perfectly satisfied I was an OK parent, and not neglectful just because my toddler had stupidly stuck his toe in a tap!

hippoherostandinghere Thu 24-Mar-16 09:14:41

When my DD was one she broke her leg. It's was so easily done, she was running in the hall way, turned and fell and sustain a spiral fracture to her tibia. A week or so later a HV called at the house but I was at work, kids were at childminders. Dh just explained what happened and we didn't hear any more from them. Then last year she had an ENT op in Jan, 2 weeks after that she broke her arm, she fell off a chair in my parents kitchen. 1 week after that we were back in ED because she had shoved tissue right up her nose and needed it suctioned out. She was 3 when all this happened.

I was pretty worried what would happen after all this, but a HV phoned my house a few weeks later to check how she was and that was all I heard.

TheRightThingToDo Thu 24-Mar-16 09:16:54

We've had a broken arm, a cut head and a couple of admissions with bronchiolitis all within 6 months and all A&E (his middle mane shaped have been Danger)

No phone calls or contact - although I did expect it after the head and arm as they were pretty close together X

wanderings Thu 24-Mar-16 09:21:07

Not exactly ss involvement, but I remember a time my 6-year-old brother had a burn on his hand at home, and a teacher at primary school took me aside at playtime and asked me to confirm what had happened. So "safeguarding" was happening then.

Collaborate Thu 24-Mar-16 09:26:08

SS take their lead from medical professionals. They only get concerned when the parental account of what happened is inconsistent with the physical injury. They can usually tell when someone's lying about a fracture. Non-accidental broken bones look different to accidental breaks.

sooperdooper Thu 24-Mar-16 09:26:43

Years ago now but my sister broke both her arms within 6 months of each other when she was about 8 and ss checked in on us, nothing more happened but at least it showed they were following up on unusual unjuries

Piemernator Thu 24-Mar-16 09:27:16

DS broke his leg and had to have stitches in his head within a 2 month period when he was 14 months old. I must admit I did think it looked bad but nothing happened. I also remember a colleague having very accident prone children and they were always at A&E. I sometimes think it depends who is on duty and their interpretations of guidelines but I also wonder if it something else and harder to put in to words.

The 2 injuries my baby suffered in a short period were bad so why were we not looked at further. We are Dr and Mrs Piemernator and speak confidently, I remember one of the Docs asking where I worked and she was delighted in my reply as she had studied there.

Wheresmybippers Thu 24-Mar-16 09:28:12

I worry about this, dd (almost 1) had a cut head, a bumped head (both a&E) and a Out of Hours for amother head bump so far blush she's just a confident mover and bumps and falls a lot! I worry every time though.

tupperwareAARGGH Thu 24-Mar-16 09:29:48

Certain injuries automatically will get flagged up to the child protection team in the hospital so although there may be a plausible reason its just that some type of injuries are common in children that are being abused.

Personally I'd rather get a call for something sounding worrying than for more children to die at the hands of abusers because no one was checking. Not sure that makes sense!

SSNC Thu 24-Mar-16 09:55:11

Have name changed for this.

My DS was very hyperactive as a boy, he ran into a busy road. I grabbed him by the neck and grazed his neck. He was about to be hit by a car, was outside school.

Had SS arrive at home with Child Protection Police threatening to lead me out in handcuffs and warning me anything further, including "attitude ", and I'd be fully prosecuted.

Mousefinkle Thu 24-Mar-16 10:22:21

DC2 had Mongolian blue spots on the base of her back and back of her ankles. HV spotted them and made us go see the GP to confirm they weren't bruises. GP said Mongolian blue spots as soon as she looked at them but pressed on them anyway to see if DD reacted which she didn't. They've just about gone now she's almost five but when she was a baby they were very prominent.

I'm glad HVs and SS check these things out if anything, at least they're doing their job. If you genuinely haven't done any harm it shouldn't go any further anyway.

Skittlesss Thu 24-Mar-16 10:29:57

I work for the police in the child protection unit and a couple of our officers have had SS check up on them after taking their kids to A&E with accidental injuries. Obviously they hadn't done anything but it was good that they still check things out (even when the parents are child protection officers)

judgelionelnutmeg Thu 24-Mar-16 10:47:44

Yes - when DS was a few months old he rolled off a piece of furniture. Had a skull fracture and the consultant basically told us they didn't believe our explanation of what happened so they called in social services for a meeting at the hospital.

In the meantime my DS had to have the full body x ray and the back of his eyes checked for broken blood vessels as it was assumed myself and his dad had clearly been abusing him. After nothing else was found we were eventually discharged and told that social services 'weren't going to take it any further '.

I understand the hospital staff have to follow procedures when they suspect abuse but to know that they initially thought we had injured our own child was just absolutely horrendous. I still haven't got over it now and am reduced to tears just typing this out. And I still have this fear that social services have some report somewhere on us and that if my DS ever has to go to hospital again it will be flagged up to them.

I'm probably being overly dramatic but it's really affected me sad

Gizmo2206 Thu 24-Mar-16 11:10:28

my baby has a rare limb condition (diagnosed at my 20 week scan) and when she was a few weeks old had a broken bone in the same limb that has a significant problem. We experienced 6 weeks of absolutely hell which culminated in a child protection conference. Luckily the chair of the conference had done lots of her own research (as had we - we presented a 'dossier' of similar cases) and they came to the conclusion that it was a pathological fracture (caused by the bones incorrect formation) or caused when a doctor roughly performed hip checks at her hip scan appointment which left bruising (luckily we had photos and had seen health visitor about)

I really feel for people who are innocent in the current system because our experience was truly awful and I often think about it and get upset about it xx

VertigoNun Thu 24-Mar-16 11:16:02

Not personally though I know others that do.

I have drummed into my dc the importance of blood tests during pregnancy and after birth for Vit D and advised them to mix feed. We have low vit D issues and other health issues that is why I know about NAI.

Frodosbaggin Thu 24-Mar-16 11:20:37

Name changed for this.

Two years ago DS was having a really trying day. He'd been rude, name calling, teasing his sisters all day. Final straw and I called him to come in the living room, he refused and said no and you can't make me idiot and then turned to run up the stairs. I got hold of his wrist and pulled him around to face me. As the same time he slipped off the step he was standing on and smashed his forehead/eyebrow off the stair doorway.

I've played it over in my mind a million times. I don't think I pulled him into the door, I'm sure he slipped. But the guilt I feel is all encompassing. He came up in a big bump and even now still has a gristly lump where he banged his head. Every time I see it I feel so so awful.

Anyway the point of the story was that I didn't take him to the hospital because I knew how it looked. I was so fearful of what would happen.

I've never ever and would never put my hands on any of the children again, not even to restrain them.

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