Aibu to not want to announce pregnancy until we are ready?

[Bambamboomboom]

Aibu to not want to announce a pregnancy until as late as possible (basically until it's showing)? I found a lot of older family members quite pushy with their opinions about everything baby related last time and I just want to enjoy my pregnancy in peace for as long as possible. Does anyone else feel like this? But there is a hen do coming up. MIL, SIL and lots of extended family will be there. I'm wondering if they will start speculating when they realise I'm not drinking. Anyone got any good excuses I can use? Everyone's a detective when it comes to these things...worried they will start asking questions or put me on the spot.

[TheDuchessOfArbroathsHat]

Look - the opinions will last until your child is in it's 20's so it's probably better if you learn to deflect those rather than skulk about trying to hide your pregnancy. So what it they put you on the spot? Can't you think of a way out of that?
"No - not drinking because we're trying" "No - not drinking in case I am" "No - not drinking because I've taken the pledge" "No - not drinking because I'm on antibiotics" etc etc.
As for the opinions - smile and nod. If you let it get to you it will.

[Mousefinkle]

A good excuse is you're on antibiotics and aren't allowed to drink. I used that myself a couple of times . Just pray they aren't so nosey they want to SEE you taking said tablets before they believe you. Just google the name of an antibiotic that doesn't allow for drinking (most don't tbf) and say it's for some kind of bacterial infection if they pry THAT much.

Yanbu at all. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was about six months gone with my third DC. I just couldn't be bothered by that stage with the interference. My mother was so shocked when I said "I'm actually 30 weeks pregnant" . But they all got over it quickly.

[KP86]

Can you be a designated driver?

[Bambamboomboom]

Designated driver isn't an option it's all public transport and staying over in a hotel. Antibiotics could work...

[toolonglurking]

I recently got away with pretending to drink at a wedding, it's actually pretty straight forward. Basically, no one is going to notice the speed you are drinking your drink unless it's drawn to their attention, so just have a glass in your hand at all times, when you nip to the loo pour a little away etc.
If anyone does comment just say you've got heartburn or something, you'll start playing catch up soon - then as they all get a bit more lairy, pretend you are a bit tipsy too. If you are any good at acting, it's easy peasy 😊

[ClopySow]

Antitiotics for a tooth issue. They're hardcore and you can't even use mouthwash.

[toolonglurking]

Every hen I've been on - antibiotics are such an obvious give away that someone is pregnant.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

there's an antibiotic you can't drink on, begins with M , it can cause adverse reactions when mixed with alcohol, tell them you're on that for the hen do.

[HippyPottyMouth]

Metronidazole. Mutter something about a dental abscess and the astonishing cost of dental treatment, and you'll get away with it. Has to be that one, most antibiotics you can drink with, but that one makes you go off like a fire extinguisher. Conveniently, it also makes you feel like absolute shit, rather like early pregnancy.

[Tywinlannister]

I used the antibiotics excuse. Was fine but I was then given away by decaf coffee in the end. I had no good excuse for drinking that crap!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yes that one, Hippy!

I had that a a student and was all set to drink on it until I read the side effects. I decided to stay home that night

[StrawberryQuik]

Alternatively if you have any allergies you could go with steroids/antihistamines as a nice change from antibiotics...I I never drink after taking hay fever tablets.

[sparechange]

'Antibiotics' is well-established code for 'pregnant'. No one will believe you.
Much easier to just let them pour you a glass of wine with the meal and occasionally go to the loo to pour it away, or drink glasses of tonic water or Coke and let people assume there is vodka or gin in there.
As people get drunk, they won't notice what you are drinking.
Using an age-old line to cover up just draws attention to it.

[TondelayaDellaVentamiglia]

don't use the antibiotics excuse...everyone in the whole world knows that is code for "pregnant but not telling"

[Jengnr]

Can you confide in someone and get them to help you? In early pregnancy with my first I had to go to a ball organised by MIL. Everyone knows I like a drink so it would have been well obvious. Anyway my SIL took one for the team and necked her glass and switched it for mine. She was on her arse at the end of the night. I drove her home panicking someone might see me and think I was a drink driver :)

[Muskateersmummy]

I agree, if a girlie in a long term relationship is suddenly "on antibiotics" at a hen do or party, it's very suspicious and people will start to talk.

Saying you have stopped drinking because your trying could open you up to all sorts of questions. But might be a good way to go.

Personally. Unless your very early I agree with toolong people are going to have opinions. Might as well start getting used to it. I would use her tipping away and drinking slowly technique. But soft drinks for yourself when your at the bar and pass it off as a g&t or rum and Coke.

[WorraLiberty]

I've never really got the cloak and dagger stuff about hidden pregnancies.

Though I understand some people wanting to wait til the 3 months mark.

Mind you, I told everyone before the piss was dry on the stick.

I suppose we're all different.

[georgetteheyersbonnet]

I found it was pretty easy to pretend, have a glass of wine, and and pretend to take a sip every so often (I was fine with having a few sips from a glass a week in pg, so I'd drink a few mouthfuls and then just keep pretending to sip and absolutely no-one noticed I wasn't drinking properly, have to say though that I work in a male-dominated industry and it was generally men and younger women I was socialising with and it clearly didn't occur to them to notice such things). I did notice a friend doing that at a dinner party when we were both TTC though, but it was her refusing the soft cheese that really confirmed my suspicions!

[HackerFucker22]

If you go with the antibiotics excuse say it's metronidazole (you absolutely cannot drink with this. A course of 5 days means no alcohol for 7 days!!). I am taking it now for infected wisdom tooth....

Although everyone trots out the antibiotics excuse. I'm taking my packet with me at the weekend as I'm sure the whole family will think I'm up the duff otherwise I like my 🍷

[mummytime]

I've been on the antibiotic that you can't drink with - if you do potential side effects include hallucinations and psychosis. But I am allergic to penicillin.
There are plenty of other drugs you shouldn't drink with.

Ideally you'd get the drinks and make sure you are drinking something that looks like its alcoholic but isn't (Virgin Mary, tonic water etc.)
Alternative is to sign up very publicly for one of those "dry for May" things, plaster it all over facebook, and then say "Oh silly me I forgot it would clash".

[bettyberry]

don't bother with the antibiotics but you could use

-taken pain killers (codeine and paracetamol) for a severe headache and didn't want to miss the fun- mixing them with booze can cause low BP and make you sleepy and make the headache worse... if they ask.

• on a diet so sticking to sugar free drinks or you wont fit into new dress for the wedding.
  

-drink coke but tell everyone its vodka (I do this all the time because I get pissed off with the 'go on have a drink' whiners who are so pissed they can't tell if it is vodka in my glass or not)

• as a PP suggested. Keep a glass on you at all times. keep smiling. Buy your own drinks on the way back from the loo.
  

• switch glasses with pissed friend when she's not looking.
  

• be in control of the camera. Camera in your hand people will be too busy grinning to look for a wine glass.

[PJ04JCW]

I went on a girls' night out when I was 6 weeks preg, had a G&T first then drank tonic all night. No-one noticed. When I did say I was expecting they were all impressed that I'd managed to dance til 2am! Have fun

[Bambamboomboom]

There's some great ideas coming here! I wonder if I could pretend

[Mumandmummer]

Say you're not feeling well at all but didn't want to miss the hen. Antibiotics are a massive give away.

[Mumandmummer]

That way you can tell a few people who notice you're not drinking but say you don't want to make a fuss/ let the hen know. Etc.