Am I being daft about holidays?

(76 Posts)
pinkhairsprayextrahold Sun 20-Mar-16 15:14:22

I'm perennially single and at that stage where all of my friends are coupled up.

I live alone and it's been getting me down quite a bit.

I really need a holiday this year but I've not got anyone to go with. I have been looking at group tours and things but I've not managed to find one that's really me (definitely, absolutely no camping, no sharing a room and no 1* or 2* hotels either!).

I also take a while to warm to people and would find a week or ten days of constantly being with people I don't know quite exhausting.

So I was looking at going by myself. It would be much cheaper. I could choose exactly where I wanted to go and things... but I feel so lonely already. I'd just be doing all the things I already do alone, but somewhere warm.

I know I'm being terribly contrary, but wwyd?

Euphemia Sun 20-Mar-16 15:17:28

I'd do it! The only bit I wouldn't like is going out by myself in the evening.

Where would you like to go?

Moonax Sun 20-Mar-16 15:17:42

Do you have any hobbies or interests? There are plenty of things like archeological tours (going to OK hotels) which might suit you. The group already has an interest in common and you'd have something to talk about even at a superficial level.

MaidOfStars Sun 20-Mar-16 15:18:33

Would a cruise work? Do you get seated at various different tables for dinner on different nights? Choice of sightseeing tours? Might mix you up with lots of people if you want, but a chance to do your own thing too?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Sun 20-Mar-16 15:20:05

Have you considered going on a cruise? You can spend as much or as little time with other people as you like, have your own cabin and either join in with the endless organised activities or not, join group excursions or explore alone, sit with other people at meal times or not, the list is endless. You can also find fellow travellers on cruise forums, they organise onboard meet-ups etc, just so you know one or two faces from the start.

pinkhairsprayextrahold Sun 20-Mar-16 15:20:49

Anywhere! Somewhere warm with a beach or a pool and things to go and look at during the day.

I'm late 20s... I think I'd be the youngest one on the cruise!

Crispbutty Sun 20-Mar-16 15:21:16

Depends what sort of place you wanted to go to. I have been to Lanzarote alone a few times and always enjoyed it. Nobody bats an eyelid at a single person sat watching the sun go down in a beachside bar or restaurant. Sunbathing by a pool with a book is solitary anyway, and I enjoy wandering around the markets or shops or churches in the day time.

DoreenLethal Sun 20-Mar-16 15:21:36

I was single and booked a holiday with my friend to NYC; in between we both met someone and then she couldn't make it due to a family situation - and neither could my new beau so I went on my own. It was awesome. I love going to places on my own. Often you meet nice people and have a chat - I met a street poet and one of the stall holders in Union Square market told me if I had any issues with staying anywhere to call her [I had trouble with the hotel that Expedia had booked for me]. Just lovely.

I wouldn't touch a cruise but that's just me. Give me cities every time.

MaidOfStars Sun 20-Mar-16 15:22:08

I think there are cruises for all ages and tastes now. My early 20s friend went on one out of Barcelona, and it was all funked up for younger people. Let me see if I can find the company.

GinThief Sun 20-Mar-16 15:22:53

Friends have talked about a hotel resort that arranged trips out/excursions, optional so you can chose what you like e.g. physical activity or cultural type. That way you can have nice hotel but also "group" trips too smile

cruikshank Sun 20-Mar-16 15:26:38

Do it. Much better to go on your own and have the option of talking/not to others when you fancy rather than enforced socialising with people you might not even like.

liberatedwine Sun 20-Mar-16 15:30:49

I went to Lake Como by myself, there were organised excursions daily, or you could relax by the pool and watch the world go by. Best holiday ever.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Sun 20-Mar-16 15:31:16

A few years ago I would not have been seen dead on a cruise. Then I read an article about how there were cruises for every taste and type of person and decided to give it a go. You certainly wouldn't be the youngest person there if you chose carefully. It's a really easy way to see lots of places without having to do all the packing/unpacking/travelling, especially if you sail direct from the UK. Waking up every morning in a different destination is lovely, plus we've been to cities we would never have bothered with as standalone destinations and been pleasantly surprised (Cadiz, Vigo, Gibraltar for example).

CreepingDogFart Sun 20-Mar-16 15:33:13

Hire a cottage somewhere remote!

Cressandra Sun 20-Mar-16 15:33:42

Hm. It's that balance of not really wanting to mix and being too used to your own company already. I do understand it, I'm just not sure what the answer is.

A friend of mine used to book a week off work and go round the country staying with friends. Just a night or two with each, so not imposing and we always appreciated his visits. Could you combine a bit of that with some time off by yourself somewhere lovely? So do the sociable thing with people you know, then a relax. Or a few nights in a city with lots to see, followed by a few nights on a beach with cocktails. I think that might appeal to me more than just a week in the sun on my own.

Lweji Sun 20-Mar-16 15:35:52

I like travelling alone because I can do exactly what I want and wonder off as I please.
In the past I have joined up smallish group trips, like safari style or guided tours. In many you find single travellers as well, or two friends travelling together but who actually enjoy talking to different people as well. smile
Some of these activities take place at night, such as taking tourists to entertainment spots or shows where you can also have a meal. It's a matter of choosing a place and look up what's available.

rookiemere Sun 20-Mar-16 15:36:20

What age are you OP?

I was single in my early thirties and had good holidays with SPICE - I did a couple of ski holidays and a walking trip to Austria and a learn to sail holiday with Sunsail where I had a much needed fling with the instructor.

In both cases it was possible to book single rooms by paying extra. At the time I was too tight or broke and just took my chances.

Or if you want to, just go on your own. One of our friends is single and goes away every couple of years to a hotel in Italy where she appears to have a wonderful time.
Also many hotels will have excursions or activities that you can join. When we stayed at the Iberostar Anthelia in Tenerife DH enjoyed the poker evenings and I did the aquarobics. Sadly DS is less of a joiner so refused to stay at the children's club which curtailed any further activities for us.

littleleftie Sun 20-Mar-16 15:38:29

I love travelling alone. A place I would recommend for a good balance of faffing alone and mixing with others when it suits you would be Sorrento. You can wander around easily if you want. Or, there are so many trips you can do where you would interact with other people if you wanted to - Capri, Herculaneum, Pompeii, Amalfi coast .

I had a ball there alone for a week - came back fully recharged.

pinkhairsprayextrahold Sun 20-Mar-16 15:45:21

I was looking at Italy. The flights are really cheap.

It's really self indulgent but I just hate being single. The thought of sitting all by myself in the airport surrounded by families and couples and friends nearly makes me start crying. How can I not have one friend who wants to go with me on holiday?

NewYearSameMe Sun 20-Mar-16 15:47:48

I depends what sort of cruise, they can be a lot of older people but if it's somewhere 'challenging' they might be a lot younger. My Mum has just come back from a cruise to Antarctica and around half the passengers were 20s and early 30s.

It might not be your kind of thing, but I went on a holiday with www.inspa-retreats.com this company and there were more singles than couples. At the time I was an over-stressed, completely unfit, desk-bound potato but I had a really good time.

rookiemere Sun 20-Mar-16 15:49:46

Pink - I'm sure you have many lovely friends, it's just as you said above they are at different stages of their lives.

FWIW I've been taking regular ski breaks with friends and mini breaks since DS was about a year, so things change on a regular basis.

Oh and at the airport the families are more likely to be sitting on barely suppressed rage ( I'm like a powder keg of stress before we head off) , or the couples secretly wanting to be on their own.

Much better to go on your own than go away with someone just for the sake of it. I've done this in the past and it's always turned out to be a huge mistake.

Tagetes Sun 20-Mar-16 15:51:21

Exodus do brilliant trips for every type of interest and activity level and always stay in reasonable hotels. The trip notes are very detailed so you know exactly what you are letting yourself in for. I have just booked my 3rd trip with them and all previous ones have included a mix of couples, groups of friends and singles.

NicolaMarlowsMerlin Sun 20-Mar-16 15:52:44

Hi there

I know a bit how you feel, I had this same problem in my early 30s having ended a (very bad) relationship and it took ages to find someone after that. I went on a couple of spa holidays and they were perfect - you could choose whether to join a group table or eat by yourself at supper, and during the day tonnes to do - lots of diff exercise classes, adventure trips, massage, beauty treatments or read book by the pool, yet it wasn't lonely as lots of other ppl doing the same. You could choose whether to make friends or not. And I got into shape at the same time which was fab.

There are hotels like that which aren't spas - like the hotel explora in chile (not that you'd want to go that far but there must be similar ones in the EU) - where there are trips you can go on all day and nice food in the evenings. You choose according to your interests, eg climb a mountain one day, walk in the woods another.

I'm sure there will be something like that in Italy - art or cooking places where you can do things with other ppl around you but aren't forced to socialise.

But def go away, you shouldn't have to lose out because you are single.

Trills Sun 20-Mar-16 15:53:29

Are you at all interested in a "learning" holiday?

I went to Spain and did some Spanish lessons and cooking lessons - there were people around but I could also spend time on my own if I wanted.

littleleftie Sun 20-Mar-16 15:53:41

I agree with rookie - it's quite an eye opener being single and watching all the simmering rage and resentment amongst couples and families. Not all obviously, but I can clearly remember being on holidays with XH and thinking I would have a far better time without him grin

Definitely there will be people who envy you. It's character building and gives you a chance to self reflect.

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