To be so upset and worried for my toddler.

(20 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:08:50

My son is just about to turn 2 years old and yesterday he had to have one of his testicles removed.

When he was born he had what appeared to be a hydrocele and my GP told me to come back in 12-18 months if the swelling was still present. I went back when he was about 16 months, he was sent for an USS and it showed that in fact there wasn't a hydrocele but that my DS actually only had one visible testicle.

He was referred to the surgeons who decided to book him in for a laparoscopy in the belief they'd find his testicle and bring it down into the scrotum. However, he had his operation yesterday and although the surgeon located his second testicle he said it was very flimsy, would never have developed properly and so it had to be removed. I was so upset and I still am.

I know there are a million worse conditions a child can live with and only having one testicle isn't the end of the world at all but I feel so low about it.

And there is of course the dreaded "mummy guilt" where in some way I have to blame myself for this having happened.

I'm worried about is future, his confidence with girls as he gets older, puberty, bullying, fertility, etc and I just feel so sad and worried for him.

I know it's not an issue for him now but one day it's going to be sad

magpie17 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:13:36

Honestly, stop feeling bad. He won't remember this, of course it wasn't your fault and he will be able to function completely normally with one.

If it helps, my brother only has one and I've never looked but think he looks pretty normal. He never had a problem getting girlfriends (far from it), was incredibly popular and school and has three children all naturally.

Please stop feeling down. As long as DS is healthy that's all that matters and in his case it sounds like he lost something he never actually had in the first place.

TiredOfSleep Sun 20-Mar-16 14:14:37

flowers it's tough when your precious baby isn't 'perfect'.

I think it's fine to spend some time mourning that testicle and embracing the new DS. But kids are so resilient. And he'll never know different.

Everyone in the playground will have something they could be picked on for, at least his is fairly invisible.

Try not to get into a spin of worse case scenario. In all likelihood it won't happen.

Pointlessfan Sun 20-Mar-16 14:17:59

I hope he's recovering well from the surgery. I do understand why you are upset and worried but please don't spend his childhood worrying about things that might not happen, just cross those bridges if and when they occur.
He won't remember this and it will be normal for him.

lylasmam2012 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:17:59

My husband and father of my 2 kids only had one working testicle! Both our kids were conceived first month of trying. My dad who fathered 5 kids is the same. It's not something I would have noticed if my husband hadn't told me!

MrsH1989 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:22:37

My husband was born with undescended testicles. No one even noticed for a year or so, so I don't think it would be something obvious girlfriends would notice. He had an operation to retrieve them but it has had an effect on his fertility. We were very lucky to have DS but won't have anymore. At least your DS was born with one fully functioning testicle. He will be fine flowers

sugar21 Sun 20-Mar-16 14:25:35

OP none of thîs was your fault and your ds will be fine. Please be kind to yourself flowers

grannytomine Sun 20-Mar-16 14:30:07

Oh I remember so well being told my son's operation was minor and that I should be grateful he wasn't terminal. I know it is horrible of me and I wish no child harm, but I found it no comfort. My baby was suffering and I was devastated. 30 years later I know it was a crazy over reaction but it was how I felt. I asked him a year or so ago how he felt about the operation, did he resent that I had opted for the operation. He looked at me like I was crazy and said it was fine, I had done the right thing.

I am sure you little boy is the light of your life and of course you are upset. It will get easier. I hope it all goes well.

incywincybitofa Sun 20-Mar-16 14:34:24

flowers
Be sad and get it out of your system, it is perfectly natural- but you will find as he grows into this amazing delightful young man that you were worrying too much.
He will be fine as others have shared stories to show.

PinkBallerina Sun 20-Mar-16 14:58:58

I can sympathise. Without giving to much away, my DD has very noticeable scars from an accident. The mummy guilt is horrible. But it will go away.

And what girl would notice or care about a missing testicle? Stop beating yourself up! On the plus side, you now know he isn't allergic to anaesthetic.

KiwiLaura Sun 20-Mar-16 15:01:45

My husband had exactly the same thing happen to him when he was around the same age. He's a bodybuilder and absolutely huge, sperm tests came back great and we have a DS. Your little one will be absolutely fine. flowers

liberatedwine Sun 20-Mar-16 15:02:34

He's going to grow up into a happy, fulfilled young man. He won't care about the missing testicle and nor should you. Sending an unmumsnetty hug flowers

rahlikeatiger Sun 20-Mar-16 15:06:44

My son had to have a different kind of surgery - a condition found before birth and so I have a little idea of what you're going through. I too, feel that guilt and it can be consuming. All I can say is be gentle with yourself. Understand that he will not remember the loss, even if it poses some challenges ahead. One of the best things the surgeon said to us was - this is not your fault. It's just what is. Hear that if you can. Then breathe, cry some - because watching your baby go off to surgery is a stressful thing to go through. I find that counting blessings is my saviour, try not to dwell on the what ifs. Easier said than done I know! Massive hugs!

WhoaCadburys Sun 20-Mar-16 15:47:35

OP can he not be given a synthetic one? Maybe not now, but when he is older if it bothers him.

musicinspring1 Sun 20-Mar-16 15:50:50

My DH only has one testicle and we have 3DC , no problems conceiving at all. He had a synthetic one and to be honest you wouldn't know the difference, I forget most of the time. Your DS will be fine. flowers

IAmNotDarling Sun 20-Mar-16 15:51:37

My DH only has one - he's fully functioning. Pregnant first month trying. No one has ever noticed.

He'll be okay!

CreepingDogFart Sun 20-Mar-16 15:52:41

My ex partner had one testicle and it was never ever an issue plus his confidence was not affected. flowers

juls1888 Sun 20-Mar-16 16:36:57

My son had the exact same thing a year ago. I felt the exact same way as you do now. But honestly, after a few weeks he bounced back and I did too, encouraged by how little it had affected him. As it has happened when they are so young, they will grow up to think this is just how it is and it won't bother them half as much as if it had happened in adulthood. Please don't let this get you down.

Writerwannabe83 Sun 20-Mar-16 22:16:21

These replies have reassure me so much. He's just the most wonderful little boy and I suppose I find it upsetting to think he may have some hurdles ahead of him, but I suppose most people in life do.

My DH is being very calm and relaxed about it, he understands why I'm upset but thinks I'm creating a drama where there doesn't need to be one grin

BestZebbie Sun 20-Mar-16 22:48:47

If he has one testicle that has been in the right place the whole time, he will be completely fine (but make sure that he wears a box for sports in later life!).
The body 'sends messages' to the testicles to produce hormones and sperm until it has enough to do everything that it needs to - one testicle can easily cope with puberty and making millions of sperm by itself (one reason to have two is so that the man is still fertile etc if one gets damaged...).

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