I'm oh so dismissive

(52 Posts)
Standingonmytippytoes Sat 19-Mar-16 22:33:08

Dp says I'm very dismissive when we're chatting but I think he just waffles on so much that by the end I don't care.

Example he's watching fast and furious 6 this evening and he mentioned they must have a large car budget I said they probably get them for free in return for advertising because alot of car heads watch the show. He then went on to tell me about when he was a teenager and hanging out with friends the group that he had were into cars and that when they got together they'd watch fast and furious and he wasnt into cars but they were and blah blah blah blah.
I don't care about that we've been together 10 years I've heard most of his stories before. Aibu he also repeats himself during conversations it's hard to explain but very annoying. Of course I'm dismissive at the end of it.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 19-Mar-16 22:35:49

Um...do you actually like your partner? It reads as though you don't.

Not sure if you actively dislike him or have just poorly explained your irritation about being with someone who repeats the same stories over and over again.

Champagneformyrealfriends Sat 19-Mar-16 22:37:42

Poor man just wants to have a chat! my DH tells me the same stories again sometimes but I wouldn't call it waffling-just making conversation. You can't help the way you feel but I do feel a bit sorry for him.

YakTriangle Sat 19-Mar-16 22:40:39

My DH tells me stories I've heard before as well. I either listen politely as though he hasn't told me before, or interrupt (in a nice way) and say 'oh yes, I think I remember you telling me about that' or similar.
There are friendly ways to deal with it rather than shouting 'HEARD IT.' You don't sound like you have much patience with him.

SupSlick Sat 19-Mar-16 22:41:00

There's a song I used to listen to which basically said "will you still love me when my stories have all been told"

I guess we know your answer grin

AnyFucker Sat 19-Mar-16 22:42:00

You don't sound very nice

Cornettoninja Sat 19-Mar-16 22:42:27

Are you Giles and Mary?

Bluebolt Sat 19-Mar-16 22:44:42

For me part of being in a partnership is conquering the ability of sharing an interest in something I don't give a shit in and vice versa and being able to laugh about how many times we have repeated certain stories.

WorraLiberty Sat 19-Mar-16 22:44:46

SupSlick!! grin

AgentZigzag Sat 19-Mar-16 22:46:28

I used to have a boyfriend like that and just couldn't help telling him to STFU shock grin It didn't go down particularly well I have to say.

But if they're ignoring all the signs that they've moved away from conversation (taking turns to talk/listen) and into the realms of lecturing or talking at you for the last 20/30 odd minutes, then you'd be a mug to just sit there night after night pretending to be interested and frustrated at the lack of input.

Has he got worse over the 10 years you've been together or has he always been like that OP?

Headagainstwall Sat 19-Mar-16 22:48:42

YANBU, OP.

If you had to sit through fast & furious (Christ, what a piece of shit film... Series of films) and then endure some car chat that you've already heard: dismiss away.

SupSlick Sat 19-Mar-16 22:50:29

grin worraliberty

I am your oh OP. I tell the same stories over and over & im not even senile (honest)

Maybe encourage him to meet up with old mates & reconnect with the people he's obviously reminiscing about. It'll get him out of the house out of your way & give him someone who might actually be interested.

fibrecruncher Sat 19-Mar-16 22:53:09

Oh you poor thing, op's chill out, it's normal to be mildly annoyed by your parter from time to time, you lot all sound like saints.. My DH takes forever to get to the end of a story. I often ask him if there's a point to his story. Standingonmytippytoes you need to get yourself on this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2593725-Tell-me-about-things-that-really-piss-you-off-even-though-you-know-youre-being-unreasonable

Standingonmytippytoes Sat 19-Mar-16 22:55:39

I'm not anyfucker I'm a right cow. I wish I wasn't. sad
It's just I was hoping the conversation would segway into I don't know, I'd of taken anything over a conversation about his pot smoking days which I hear about all the bloody time. Or the gym I'm so sick of hearing about the gym

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo Sat 19-Mar-16 23:00:16

What do you talk about that is so damn entertaining then?

Standingonmytippytoes Sat 19-Mar-16 23:02:51

Not much fibber I'm a bit of an introvert too busy mumsnetting most of the day.

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo Sat 19-Mar-16 23:11:56

Then is the problem more that you just have different ideas about communication? Do you find it a comfortable silence while you and dp are in the same room but each doing your own thing, but dp feels that is you ignoring each other and wants to talk just for the sake of talking?

FifteenFortyNine Sat 19-Mar-16 23:14:51

different communicating styles, maybe try to find some balance between the two.

SpunnyFoonerism Sat 19-Mar-16 23:16:22

I sometimes rabbit on to DH while he nods and even sometimes makes eye contact only to find that he hasn't been listening. When he realises I'm at the end he'll ask "What?" and I don't know how far back to go because I don't know at what point he stopped listening angry

So, say if the story was "I was walking the dogs and I bumped into Sarah who told me that her sister Sally had her triplets last week. Two girls and a boy. She asked us to pop round at the weekend. I said we would, is that okay with you?" Then he'll realise I've finished and blink and ask me "What? I'm sorry, I didn't get that." So I then repeat the story in ass order because I don't know when he zoned out!

"I said we'd pop round. To see Sarah's sister Sally. She had the triplets last week. Two girls, one boy. I ran into Sarah when I was walking the dogs."

Yeah, I know it's not exactly a riveting story but a) he's my husband, he can handle the odd boring story b) I pretend to be interested in his boring stories and c) he makes it seem like he's listening!

totally agree with you on boring gym stories too

AgentZigzag Sat 19-Mar-16 23:18:01

It's not about whether the OP has a sparking wit and can captivate her audience whenever she's talking Flibbert, it's the problem with her DH knowing full well that he's talking about something she's not got the slightest interest in but ploughing on regardless because he thinks she should listen whenever he speaks, and for however long he chooses to speak for.

If he was talking about a problem he had at work or something then it'd be a bit shit to complain about it when she really wanted to talk about GBBO, but the OP has a choice in what she wants to think about doesn't she? And he's forcing her to think about shit films and shit cars!

That can't be right.

Poor OP flowers

Longdistance Sat 19-Mar-16 23:23:29

I wish my Dh would talk more. I talk lots about different things, from day to day stuff, news, family, past stories he may not have heard etc, I don't get much back. I would love those sorts of conversations, but somehow Dh is non plussed about it.
I must mention, that his df (fil) is a ditherer when it comes to telling stories, and he takes forever to get to the point.
Perhaps he's zoned out grin

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sat 19-Mar-16 23:26:54

I know Dh doesn't always listen to me - he'll say you never told me that! And I know I did, he just probably thought I was chatting away about nothing and zoned out.

Equally, he will start talking about something that I'm totally uninterested in - like the bloody money markets and high frequency trading - and I'll just say "skip to the end..." grin

Last night I was reading him IDS's resignation letter, and he just said, I'm not listening, I'm watching this' I was shock We really are quite rude to each other sometimes. But I luffs him, and 90% of the time we engage with other and have great conversations.

Standingonmytippytoes Sat 19-Mar-16 23:28:05

See spunny your story was actually quite interesting, it was relevant. You bumped into sarah reminded him who sarah was and told him you had made plans and wanted to know if he was interested in joining you. You've had to repeat because he wasn't listening.

He's been quite quiet since his earlier story I feel bad now. I wish I could remember another story that was long and annoying mauve I don't listen.

Standingonmytippytoes Sat 19-Mar-16 23:36:55

and I'll just say "skip to the end..."
under I tried using that once oh it caused an almighty shouting match conversation.

Thanks agent

He also kept giving me updates on the movie because I missed the start i kept saying I'm not watching this. It got to the point I had to say stop giving me updates I don't care.

UnderTheGreenwoodTree Sat 19-Mar-16 23:39:23

under I tried using that once oh it caused an almighty shouting match conversation.

Oh dear. I think I agree with Agent then thanks

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