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AIBU?

do be annoyed our sex life is being restricted?

102 replies

TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:10

By someone deciding how often we should be having sex?

DP has type 1 diabetes and with with ED. he has been amazing at getting it dealt with by the GP, and for a few years we have had a regular prescription for a variant of sex drug. (It changes)

We always got it in packs of four. Sometimes we would use this in a week, sometimes over a month (health has meant we haven't used any for a few weeks but that's not long term)

But he's just received a letter saying he will be restricted to four tablets a month. One a week.

It's so hard living with ED, the spontaneous element is already hindered, there's emotions attached to it I couldn't explain (both from his side and mine) but this just seems a kick in the teeth.

He's made an appointment and is going to enquire about a private script or any leeway, but AIBU to be annoyed that someone somewhere decided sex once a week is all we are "allowed"?

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TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:10

And I wrote do instead of to in the title. Meh.

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Junosmum · 18/03/2016 09:14

YANBU. See what the Dr says, I suspect a private prescription is the way to go.

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AdrenalineFudge · 18/03/2016 09:16

I also think a private prescription is the way to go. I'd see what reason doctor gives but I don't think this scenario is altogether unlikely - a few years ago my GP reduced some medication I was on quite drastically without so much as a chat about it.

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AnchorDownDeepBreath · 18/03/2016 09:18

I think you've been fairly lucky getting a new prescription so frequently before - I'm fairly sure that the guidance has been 4 per month for a while.

You can get a private prescription, which would cover as many tablets as you wanted. Some private GPs prefer a tablet every other day to every day, but it'll depend on your DP's overall health.

Make an appt with a private GP and you'll probably be able to get repeat prescriptions for a good few months at a time.

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xenapants · 18/03/2016 09:18

Yes, if the NHS are paying for the medication then YABU. Look into a private script, as suggested.

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IdaJones · 18/03/2016 09:21

If you are prepared to pay for the extras i don't see any reason for them to be restricted, so i hope you are able to get a private prescription.

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suzannecaravaggio · 18/03/2016 09:23

I've heard a rumour that you can buy these things on the internet

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pippistrelle · 18/03/2016 09:26

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable to be annoyed. Your husband has a medical problem that is solved by medication. It seems cruel to say his medical issue will only be solved once a week. But a private prescription is probably the way to solve the problem quickly with minimum fuss.

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TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:27

Suzanne I googled last night but I hate the idea of buying drugs from the Internet. What if they're not legit?

I do hope we can pay privately, but hope they Aren't too expensive - they cost the NHS about 85p for four, so hopefully we won't pay a huge whack.

I just feel sad and almost like I have to perform on a certain day and time now so as to not waste one. It's a big thing for DP too, no man likes not being able to get an erection. I'm bloody lucky we can talk like we do about it all, but it's still not easy

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 18/03/2016 09:28

Unfortunately, I also think four tablets a month is 'the standard' for an NHS prescription.

DP's GP should be able to provide him with a private prescription for more.

I'm not saying I think he should be restricted, just that I believe it is the usual thing.

I hope the private prescription isn't too expensive.

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alltouchedout · 18/03/2016 09:29

I hear you, OP. Hopefully you'll have a sympathetic gp who will understand that restricting the tablets on this scale undoes a lot of what the tablets are supposed to be doing- allowing you and dp to have a fulfilling sex life that isn't totally ruled by his medical condition. I think for people who haven't dealt with the effects of life limiting conditions it's very difficult to understand how something like this makes you feel, tbh.
If you do end up having to access them elsewhere I'd be wary of the Internet. I've bought things online and been fine but have known others not to be so lucky.

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Seeyounearertime · 18/03/2016 09:31

You can go to:
www.lloydspharmacy.com/

Click on the "Online Doctor" bit on the left, answer some simple questions and they will prescribe you ED Meds. You can then buy whatever you like from a known high street pharmacist. You can even click and collect from your local Lloyds.

Hope that helps :)

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Wolpertinger · 18/03/2016 09:31

I think the NHS has rationed these to four a month for years.

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FishWithABicycle · 18/03/2016 09:32

Yanbu.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.bssm.org.uk/downloads/BSSM_ED_Management_Guidelines_2009.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwiI_Ie79MnLAhVBQpoKHQQ1AKAQFggkMAM&usg=AFQjCNGKbeQG4iFxQcJhyZbMhK1MDYyI2w&sig2=gifO9O4XWZuq1UprmLbzGA" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">Guidelines state 1 tablet per week is considered to be appropriate for the majority of patients, but when more is required the GP should prescribe that quantity at NHS cost

There's a lot of untaken medications - thousands of people never take the medicines they are prescribed. I don't think it's unreasonable for the gp to start off with one a week so long as the prescription is increased without quibbles if requested. No red-blooded Englishman will ever ask for such a prescription to be reduced so the best way to ensure expensive medicines aren't wasted untaken is to start the prescription low and increase as required.

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FlipperSkipper · 18/03/2016 09:35

If you get a private prescription then make sure you shop around, the price varies a lot. Also, boots online is a lot cheaper than boots instore, which is odd.

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LineyReborn · 18/03/2016 09:35

But is the rationing about cost, or possible side-effects? OP says they're cheap, so what's the rationale?

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LineyReborn · 18/03/2016 09:36

X-posted with Fish.

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Penguinepenguins · 18/03/2016 09:37

At the chemist you will pay the price of the drug plus the chemists dispensing fee. It shouldn't be that expensive :)

I would call up a couple of chemists and ask what there private prescription fee is maybe they will vary, I'd try a local one, boots and a supermarket chemist maybe Asda as you may find the fee varies. I would imagine private chemists will be much higher maybe even 50% of the drug cost.

Good luck!

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TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:41

Thank you, the link to lloyds and boots online is a great help.

DP has been having these for a few years with no restrictions, so the letter yesterday although wasn't completely unexpected was a little unbalancing. ED is so much more than a physical disorder, the mental affect it has on both parties in the relationship is so often overlooked.

One article I read stated that prescription limit was to prevent people selling on on the black market. Which I kind of understand. But I read another white paper from 2014/15 which advises against restrictions on prescribing as well, so it's a bit of a grey area.

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Sallyingforth · 18/03/2016 09:46

You need to be sure that the GP isn't restricting the pills for medical reasons. There are contra-indications for use of them. You wouldn't want him to have a heart attack while making love.

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Arkwright · 18/03/2016 09:46

I haven't worked in a pharmacy for a few years now. I remember if patients had to buy them they were about £80. Four a month was the usual prescription. Most people had to pay you only get them free for certain conditions.

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Sallyingforth · 18/03/2016 09:47

Crossed with your last post.

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TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:48

Sallyingforth, we have checked in the past when he first had them, and having diabetes they do regular check ups etc. The restriction seems to be a market thing almost?

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TooAswellAlso · 18/03/2016 09:49

Arkwright, they came down in cost Massively in the last couple of years due to a patent I think it was ending? The generic drug is now v. Cheap

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FlipperSkipper · 18/03/2016 09:49

The price of drugs varies from pharmacy to pharmacy too, not just the dispensing fee, so make sure you know what the total cost is (I'm in the middle of getting quotes for my IVF drugs at the moment and it's surprising how much it varies!)

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