to feel offended by this and not want to eat any more fucking apples

(82 Posts)
giraffesCantReachTheirToes Thu 17-Mar-16 13:12:15

I actually don't know if I am being unreasonable. I feel annoyed but might just be sensitive just now.

I have a bad chest infection just now and have pulled muscles in my ribs and diaphragm area from coughing. I also have a chronic lung disease and so chest infections hit me badly. I get quite a few chest infections a year.

I see a respiratory consultant at a hospital that specialises in this. I have a nebuliser machine at home and meds prescribed to administer. Am on a variety of strong and expensive meds, some more commonly associated with things like COPD.

Today someone saw me and asked how I was feeling. I said slowly improving but still struggling. She started going on at me to eat more oranges to get vitamin c. I definitely consume over the RDA of vit c anyway and take lots of supplements anyway.

Then she started saying she had heard apples can fix lung problems and to try that. There has been some research into this and apparently FEV1 in lung function tests was slightly increased when apples were consumed. Am not sure how reliable etc the study was but accept it might be a thing.

Even with that it really wouldn't work. My lung function is good, I can produce a high Peak flow when well. It's my lungs unpredictable and life threatening reactions to things that are the problem.

I really don't like people giving random medical advice. It somehow suggest that 1. I am not eating healthily anyway. 2. That all my consultants are prescribing expensive meds when an apple could help?

I am on extra pain meds and steroids, which always make me a bit emotional and not been getting much sleep cos of coughing and pain. So I am aware I might be being unfair.

AYD2MITalkTalk Thu 17-Mar-16 13:13:47

People always do that when you have a medical condition. It's very irritating.

MinniedeMinx Thu 17-Mar-16 13:14:28

YANBU. Its as stupid as telling people that fasting can cure cancer.
I think its a type of behaviour you see from people that beleive in sympathetic magic.
'If I eat enough apples, I wont end up on a nebuliser'
'If I dont wear a mini skirt or walk in the dark I wont get raped'.
That kind of rubbish.

Get well soon flowers

MorrisZapp Thu 17-Mar-16 13:16:37

I think it's pretty interesting and not remotely offensive. She was probably just being chatty, not attempting to give you a prescription.

Niklepic Thu 17-Mar-16 13:18:52

It's really annoying. I've been asked by 'well meaning' people whether I'd thought about a high protein diet and a gym membership to build up the muscles of my son who has a muscle wasting disease.

MartinaJ Thu 17-Mar-16 13:20:50

I'm totally happy my father lives thousands of miles away and isn't computer savvy. He discovered "the healing power of his hands" few years ago and did a physio course, only he actually believes he can pull the pain out of your body with his will and shake it off. He also believes in the healing powers of ginger and honey as one of the hidden cancer cures, chemtrails etc. Yep, there are nutters like this and unfortunately if you have a chronic problem (severe migraines in my case), you'd be on a receiving end of various well meant but extremely annoying pieces of advice.

99percentchocolate Thu 17-Mar-16 13:22:39

Yeah I would find that pretty irritating too. Not on the same scale, but I've got HG this pregnancy (still going strong at 32 weeks) and it drives me crazy when people recommend ginger as though it is going to change my effing life. Do they really think that ginger is going to help where multiple hospital admissions and very, very strong anti emetics haven't?
I think that it's part of our culture to want to help people suffering in any way we can so that's probably what she was doing, but yanbu to want to tell her where to shove it.

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge Thu 17-Mar-16 13:27:47

I feel your pain, Martina. My SIL is a professional healer (ha!) and will bludgeon you with woo nonsense until you agree to receive her miraculous Reiki at the drop of a hat. Thing is, I wouldn't care if she were not so censorious and dismissive about things she doesn't agree with (like antibiotics).

OP, you may be told just to smile and nod, but I think it is better for you (you blood pressure, certainly) to stop people and say it's kind of them to suggest something but your condition doesn't respond to the fruit bowl treatment.

Wolfiefan Thu 17-Mar-16 13:29:38

I can understand you are irritated by it but why offended?
People generally want to contribute something helpful rather than just saying "oh that must be shit!"

hazeyjane Thu 17-Mar-16 13:33:36

It is very irritating. I think the offence (ime) comes from the idea that you aren't trying hard enough if you haven't tried xyz.

A lady once told me that I could 'cure' Ds by giving him 7 drops of almond oil in water every night, apparently he would be talking by the morning, I pointed out that he has a genetic condition, and she said she knew children with Downs Syndrome who had been 'cured' by this treatment.

elfycat Thu 17-Mar-16 13:36:57

YABU.

It's not the APPLES's fault.

So eat an apple and poke her in the eye with the little stalk. YANBU about the idiot.

DelphiniumBlue Thu 17-Mar-16 13:37:24

How is someone trying to be helpful offensive? Even if they don't know what they're talking about, even if you don't agree.
Clearly your condition is serious, which is horrible for you, but if someone is showing an interest couldn't you just treat it as a kind gesture? Sort of like a virtual bunch of flowers?
Hopefully your health will improve soon . flowers

gandalf456 Thu 17-Mar-16 13:42:44

I'm sure it's well-meaning but I get you. It's frustrating when you are very ill and someone comes back with a simple cure. My favourite one was when my Dad had terminal cancer and my BIL, a keen pot smoker, suggested hemp oil, which Dad duly tried but ended up thinning his blood to dangerous levels because he was on Warfarin.

I am a bit like your friends with advice, though, because I'm a bit of a fixer. I stop when I can see people getting irritated. To be fair, I don't say anything if I don't know what I'm talking about either.

RockUnit Thu 17-Mar-16 13:50:56

YANBU. I think your doctor would know if it was as simple as eating an apple! It's so patronising when people think they know better than you and your doctor.

RumbleMum Thu 17-Mar-16 13:55:49

YANBU. I get that it's well-meaning but it's so irritating. I have a tendency to want to try to fix things but have learned to squash it down and just listen and make sympathetic remarks because that's usually what people really want and need.

RumbleMum Thu 17-Mar-16 13:57:15

PS hope things improve for you soon flowers

thecitydoc Thu 17-Mar-16 13:57:40

I shut up people like her by asking "which medical school did you graduate from" - works every time

MrsDeVere Thu 17-Mar-16 13:57:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 17-Mar-16 13:58:43

<Waves at Giraffes>

I understand your irritation. But sometimes, just occasionally, a little snippet of this kind can make a huge improvement in some health conditions. I don't believe this is the case with your lungs and apples, however; but occasionally it's good to get more info than you would from your own doctor, just in case it IS applicable. smile

hazeyjane Thu 17-Mar-16 13:58:49

Exactly, I think people need to learn that people don't want a 'solution' they might just want a sympathetic ear. It's like when you are struggling to conceive, and every man and his dog tells you about the couple who tried for years, and then when they stopped trying they had a baby.....'have you tried meditation?'.....

Queenie73 Thu 17-Mar-16 13:59:30

I can see how you would be offended- it does minimise a potentially serious illness and I'd think that the person was implying I was exaggerating my illness.
I have a chronic illness and it's irritating enough when people "know" exactly what I need to sort it all out, but I have a relative with a child who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and all the helpful, slightly condescending advice is driving her nuts. She is starting to avoid going out because these people always seem to think she needs to discuss the most traumatic thing in her life, in a public place.

Sirzy Thu 17-Mar-16 14:01:29

It drives me mad when people think they can cure things, my son has severe asthma and other Chest problems two respiratory consultants can't resolve the problems so I don't think someone's home cure is going to achieve much!

hazeyjane Thu 17-Mar-16 14:05:17

The almond oil lady also told me that cinnamon oil would cure dd2s asthma, Sirzy. I don't know why the medical community have not cottoned on to these things!

grumpysquash Thu 17-Mar-16 14:05:56

My dMum would offer to analyse your aura (which would obviously really help your lungs) sad

WhereDidAllThoseYesterdaysGo Thu 17-Mar-16 14:07:54

Yanbu at all. My pil were so adamant that pushing through a long term illness wad the way to recover that they actually told me to ignore the consultant neurologist.

The arrogance!

So you have my sympathies. Do stock up on apples so you can shove them in all sorts of imaginative places (if only in your head for amusement)

Hope you're on the mend soon

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