Clothing nightmare :-(((45 Posts)
DD 3 is giving me nightmares every single day when I get her dressed, she thinks that everything is uncomfortable and it isn't that she wants to pick her own clothes because she's quite happy for me to but everyday something else is annoying her (one day it's knickers, next day it's socks etc etc) it's so frustrating and takes ages to get her to calm down after she's finally dressed for it to then start up again when we leave the house and have to put shoes and a coat on. I know this isn't a sensitivity issue because of various reasons, I think she just gets it into her head and that its all stemmed from when she went to her cousins house and the little boy does have sensitivity issues and she witnessed him having a meltdown over his clothes, ever since then this has started before then we NEVER had a problem.
This isn't really an AIBU, but I needed traffic because I need help!!!!! Has anyone else had similar situations to this?? What did you do??? Thanks everyone!!
Yes! Me! DD1 was a nightmare age 2-3 for various things but the main ones were sick seams and plaits- seams had to be perfectly straight and plaits/ponytails had to be reeeeeeally tight or DD would have a meltdown. It used to drive me bonkers but she soon few out of it.
Try not to give her any kind of reaction, that will help speed the process up.
for you, I feel you pain but it does stop eventually!
I'd also suggest that you don't 'react' to her reaction. Ask her what she wants to wear, i.e. provide her with the options and let her choose. It is a phase and she will get over it but I know just how much of a hassle this sort of thing is in the morning when you just want her to get dressed eat and get out.
If it helps prep the evening before, I used to do this and then I'd take dd to my room so I could show her what I was wearing the next day - it became our 'thing' I'd ask her what rings I should wear tomorrow etc etc, I was distracting her and trying to make it more of a 'getting ready with mummy' type of thing.
Whatthefreak thank god I'm not alone!! Yes seams on the socks are the bane of my life!! It's so frustrating and I try really hard to ignore but it's so so hard, especially when I'm now late for everything because of how long the process takes!! Then after she's had the meltdown she is so clingy and won't let me do anything because she's worked herself into such a state!!
Adrenaliefudge that's a good idea to show her the night before although she really doesn't seem to care what it is she's going to wear and I do ask her and give her options but it always ends the same way. I will try the night before approach and see if it helps though, thanks
Let us know how you get on. I'm assuming she's 3yo instead of your 3rd child/daughter?
Make it a game for her - distraction distraction and more distraction has been the way for me. When my dd was complaining about cherios for breakfast I got her involved - we'd make toast together - she'd put the bread in the toaster, the night before we'd discuss whether we wanted butter or jam on the toast for the next morning. When she was complaining about clothes I got her involved in an idea in which we'd take pictures of various looks together - luckily for you she doesn't care what she wears but my dd would have gone to school in a vest and knickers if I didn't stop her. I did anything to avoid a meltdown in the morning; however ridiculous it seemed at the time, it worked and now she's over that stage.
We are talking 6 years ago, but u found seamless tights and socks in the end in H&M! The drama if the seams weren't straight was unreal!
She also wouldn't tolerate her clothes being even a smidgen wet or her hair anything but 'croyden facelift' tight.
It was a happy day when she grew out of it, and hopefully it won't be long now for you.
Just ignore ignore ignore (I know it's hard, especially when they whip their dress of in sainsburys because they got water on the hem, Christ on a bike!) but if they get nothing from us, it stops.
Adrenaliefudge yes sorry she's 3yo but I do have an older DD as well but she has never ever had an issue. I'm definitely going to give it a try tonight and see if it helps!! I will report back!
Whatthefreak I have tried seamless but then she says it isn't right because their not there we just go round and round in circles with it!! She has literally just stared moaning about her hair this afternoon, the one thing that so far she has never complained about!! Now that's another thing
I think shes just testing me in general at the moment for control, everything that I don't say yes too has her throwing a fit and working herself into such a state and I think this is just a part of it.
It's not worth the fight, I'd hand her some socks and tell her to wear them or not I don't care, let her feet get cold a few times she'll figure it out.
Ds1 has sensory issues, mostly under control now he's grown. But sock seams and clothes labels bother him. I got him girl socks for years as the seams were thinner and softer. and thank goodness for tagless tee shirts.
I'm with SquinkiesRule on this one, let them pick their own clothes and make their own mistakes. They settle down when they see what the other kids are doing and decide they want to fit in. You can give them a gently nudge here and there.
If she copies the other kids and cares what they think you can use that as leverage
It's not unusual to have some sensory issues at that age, but it can also mean a sensory problem, which can be dealt with via an occupational therapist...keep an eye on it! My daughter still gets all arsey about tights, the heel and foot seam need to be in the right place, and the gusset, which all seems a logistical nightmare because i need to buy a couple of sizes up due to her freakishly long legs, so the foot length is too long (slightly anyway, which is enough to throw it all out)
Roll on sock season.
OMG I feel your pain, my eldest DD has just turned 4 and HATES all clothes! She strips off as soon as she's home.
I had forgotten the seam thing. I remember and feel your pain! Agree it sounds like she is testing you, although two of mine hated seams. It is a "thing" for some children.
What about bigging up all good behaviour?
Well done Dd. You stopped crying." Then diving in before she starts with a "Well done, you would have previously had a strop at that." And a reward - eg sticker for each day she gets dressed without kicking off.
<shrugs> kids! I actually have sensory issues, but they've got worse as I've got older. I'm definitely of the tell her these are your socks, wear them or not, but don't moan to me if your feet are cold camp.
Tatty- I have a similar issue with foot size vs leg length, i found mothercare school tights don't have heels & a symetrical gusset, which helps, just the seams to get sorted in the mornings
Definitely some great tips here thank you all so much!! I didn't think of a sticker reward for every time she does it with no fuss, I think I'll try that one I'm glad I'm not alone, I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes! We had another meltdown before bed as now the seam on the bottom bit of her knickers "hurts" but earlier on apparently the frills on her socks were "pinching her" it's just endless!!! And yeah she also wants to take all her clothes on the minute we get home even though it's still cold out
Sounds completely normal to me. DD (5) and her friends have had issues. At 3 DD would only wear boys' pants because the elastic was enclosed. She's still funny about pants being too tight, and tights, and socks, and the underarms of tops not being too tight, and trousers that bunch up behind her knees.
Her best friend hates long sleeves, anything scratchy or sequinned and leggings.
Not sure why would be achieved by trying to force them into wearing these things really.
And yes, they prefer to be naked. Doesn't take a genius to work out that it's probably more comfortable. Their skin is very sensitive to stuff we've long got used to.
DD was exactly the same. Sock seams, hair had to be perfect, bunches having to be tight and level to the mm, hates sequins, as she got older, everything became itchy and some new clothes had to be washed to death. I spent days washing and tumble drying stiff new school checked dresses when she was 6. There were so many triggers. Now she's a lot better - almost 8. I have to remove labels from clothes now. I recently started refusing to remove labels from her new coat she loves on the pretext I need the care symbols and did the same with a cardigan. I think she's finally accepted that as they don't touch her body, they can't be itchy. I used to be ocd about sock seams and I can relate to lots of my dd's issues. Getting to school for a while was very difficult and she developed anxiety about it, which exacerbated the issue. This passed as did the obsession with perfect hair Most things do. Hang in there.
Isn't there an actual sensory thing regarding clothes?
Like children are haven't a real issue with the feel of it in their skin, I'm sure I read a thread about it once.
HORRENDOUS here with DD3.
Now age 4.5
SUPER tight pony tails - now we are down to perfect bunchie plaits (I don't care as long as it's tied somehow for nursery).
Requirement for SUPER skin tight leggings - now not so bad, but only has maybe 3 pairs out of 15 that she will wear so I am a slave to the washing machine
EVERY DAY: FUCKING SOCK SEAMS
We have so many beautiful clothes, socks and shoes that she just won't wear and I am really dreading all the new worries school uniform will bring in September.
She spoils every single morning for DD1 and DS2.
It seems like socks are the reoccurring thing, I wonder why?! That, sleeves rolling up when your coat goes on, leggings touching her thighs too much (but won't wear trousers because they are "too baggy") and her best "jumping up" are definitely my DD's biggest triggers. Although the hair issue has just started today I can tell from her reaction to it that it's going to be a biggie!! God help me
Sorry hat was supposed to say vest (think I'm just excited to have people to share my pain with)
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