When my children are older

[GloGirl]

Would I be unreasonable if I followed them into the toilet and jumped up and down in their underpants and protest loudly if they won't let me sit on their knee?

I also want to make sure that at least 3 times I day I reach into their space and press their phone randomly. Screaming loudly if they try and move the phone away from me.

[Voteforpedr0]

Yanbu when mines are teens I will be waking them up at 6 am to demand my favourite breakfast and tv programme on. I will definitely be making at least ten trips to the toilet when out with them (even if I don't need it )

[GloGirl]

EatShitDerek, I love your Mum's style.

I also particularly like needing to go to the toilet 10 times, subtle.

I've decided to wait until they cook me some food ( will they ever?) and then declare it yucky, and ask for breakfast instead.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

I'm going to sit on the stairs wailing that I can't put my shoes on every bloody day.
I will sit on the stairs wailing I'm too tired to take my shoes off. Every bloody day.
I will collect random objects and leave them in their house. And remember I've done it.

[SaucyJack]

I'm going to sit down in the middle of the road, and eye gouge anyone who attempts to remove me from said road safely.

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

Day in. Day out. Year in. Year out.

You will reap what you have sown, kiddo.

[GloGirl]

I'm going to ask them to help me do the straps up on my shoes, and then kick them in the tits.

[KP86]

This made me guffaw. Really!

And no, YANBU! I can't wait until DS is old enough to do this.

[MuttonCadet]

I think you are supposed to leave it to your grandkids to wreak revenge on your behalf.

[GloGirl]

Where is the fun in that Mutton?

Although on that train of thought I should make sure I buy my grandchildren a Furby

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

I'm going to lie down on the floor and ignore every discussion I don't like the direction of.

[WalkerBait]

Can we stop when the children are older threads I'm already upset how fast mine have grown up

[pieceofpurplesky]

I am going to collect light Sabres sticks and store them on DS' bed. Mud and insects included.

I will also refuse to eat anything except cheese. And fab ice lollies.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Mutton my parents do seem to be enjoying our dc wreaking havoc upon us rather more than is reasonable.
They've been seen to collapse laughing when I grumble about DD .

[Gowgirl]

I shall yell I need the toilet/ I'm tired/ you mean......every time I'm unhappy that includes being made to walk/ not being allowed to walk being given sandwiches cut into triangles- I want squares today! Etc

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

I'm going to kick off my shoes and leave them along with coat school bag and PR kit for them to break their neck on.

I am going to leave random crap in their car and demand it back when they are in PJs and it's raining.

I'm going to wait until we are half way somewhere to mention I forgot X and we need to return home

I will ask one hundred crap questions whilst they are on the phone to the bank

I will ignore all "it's tea time messages and stuff my face with biscuits"

I will only tell them about a party/dress up day at 8.30 that same morning ....

Bring it on!

[Xmasbaby11]

And when my dc give me a present I'm going to burst into tears and insist I want THAT ONE (point to anyone else's present).

I'm going to make everyone watch my favourite episode of my favourite programme 3 times in a row. And keep asking them questions about it so they can't fall asleep.

[Xmasbaby11]

I'm going to leave one piece of lego on the floor in every room of the house.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

I'm going to buy my grandchildren the noisiest, most annoying toys with the battery compartments you have to use a screwdriver to get into. And I will fit fresh long life batteries.

Actually my mil seems to be employing this strategy... and every time she apologies with wide eyes while laughing up her sleeve

[Baconyum]

I already need a wee every 5 mins ( joys of menopause and water retention)

Get nagged if I don't clear my cup away the second the last gulp if tea drunk and if I don't put my coat and shoes away IMMEDIATELY she's only 15

I am tempted to lie on the floor screaming in the supermarket, leave barbie shoes and Lego lying around wake her at 6am at the weekend after she's had a late night.

[KERALA1]

Take my clothes off and drape them round the house. Do impromptu gym performances requiring an attentive audience at least every 15 minutes.

[mawbroon]

I am going to demand a piggy back every time I need to go up or down the stairs.

And make everyone late by declaring I need a poo just as it's time to leave

[inlawsfromhell]

I'm going to pour their brand new toiletries down the basin, rub toothpaste everywhere and change my favourite meals to most hated meals weekly

[Trollicking]

Mmm, I think my parents are doing this to me. They continually squabble - it's like toddler time

[SilverBirchWithout]

Some of these I'm already doing with my DS(24):

I always want a wee when we are on a journey or out somewhere.

Sometimes repeat myself and ask the same question.

I suspect I also sometimes embarass him in front of his friends saying something inappropriate.

I am working myself up to lots of why? questions and opening the loo door. He may already looking be at nursing homes

[BackforGood]

I'm going in to their houses / flats (wherever they are paying the bills) and putting all the lights on, all the radios / music centres of any kind, turning the heating up and opening a few windows.
I will then open a few doors, including the freezer door which I will leave just not quite shut. I will then turn on both the oven and the hob and leave them on.